Monday, December 7, 2009

We're Off To A Lame Hiatus, From Horrible Writer Mark Schwahn-OZ

Let's see...

This shit is boring - Check!


Then Nathan takes Jamie to a bar and he might or might not go to Spain? First of all didn't Nathan learn his lesson about drinking and let's teach our 7 year old to drink knowing that alcholism can be hereditary or however the fuck you spell it. Real Smart, You ball-juggling Fucker! And Who the fuck thought his ass would actually go to Spain? Spare me.
Of course, we have like one/ two Naley scenes with Jamie and the Agents (no storyline at all). *YAWN* Do I care- NO! Should you care-FUCK NO! I'd rather try to catch STD's than watch anymore of this shit. It can't get any worse for loyal viewers... or can it?
And who didn't guess than Clay would find a way, an unrealistic way when players have by capped already, FYI, to get Nathan in the NBA. The Kings trade Nathan for some other player already. Who says the bobcats are willing trade for the other dude anyway! See, the Schwahn is Damn fucked in his brainless head!



This shit is full of people I don't give two fucks about - Check!

All throughout the episode ClayTooth Monster and Moonface Quinn terrorize the fucking town with No real storyline other than to just annoy viewers to death. No offense, but I don't give three Fucks and penciled Dick what Moonface-Mega Nose Quinn does during a cheerleading routine! Why the fuck was she even down there and not waiting somewhere. I laughed, cause I was so damn bored.

Yeah, Skillz is Leaving and Him and Miss Lauren talk- Blah, fucking blah! Although I did realize that I would have shipped them if they were given more time than say Monkey and CrackWhore...

Ugh, I mean Mouth and Milli... seriously, Am I the only person who doesn't care about those two. Milli crying on the floor in the bath-tub full of Alex's Whore-Blood! Hahaha, Not sad but hilarious and really unsanitary... she was a Crack head, so the bitch could have Aids or anything.

Glad Brooke Fired her Ass but don't like that B is there for everyone. She waited with julian's pussy ass to see if Alex was okay, she waited with fake comatose Alex, and she told Milli she was her friend. Fuck all of them B. Davis is too fucking sexy to be saddled with these idiots.

Only Victoria is good enough for Brooke until the Schwahn ruins her by making her kill someone like Dan did!

This shit makes no fucking sense - Check!

(Seriously, Dan can't legally give away all that money without Rachel's conscent unless everything is in his name and I'm sure its not.) Really tired of these Dan stories- I hope he is gone for good so he won't have to suffer for long on this Horrible show. Fuck, since he is poor and evil, maybe he is going to nowhere's land aka HELL with Pucas and baby Spawn, Hahahaha! This show Sucks more ass than the Schwahn kisses his own hairy shitty Anus!




BROOKE FANS GET NOTHING - Motherfucking check!


Brooke is HOT, SEXY, AWESOME... and we get this shit. Kill off Julian and Alex otherwise Sophia needs to leave this show. She's the only reason I watch so... chop chop! Julian's Ugly ass sausage face just swells whenever I see his ass! Its like an entire dick is wrapped around his forehead! Fucking hell and it only gets bigger and bigger as he sits by Alex like a fucking pussy and talks.

So let me get this straight:

Alex has no family? No friends, and Just ruined Julia(h) the Dumb fucking tranny's relationship with Brooke but this motherfucker was and is STILL making the movie with her! UGH, give me a fucking break! Time for Brooke and Alexander! Anything to get Julian away from my Brooklyn but that Alex dude is UGLY ass fuck! And swollen head, cockless LukeAss 2.0 wannabe mother fucking pussy can fucking die in a motherfucking corner! I hate that Bastard! Nothing more to add as I was bored.
What do you guys think?
-Toddian

Monday, November 30, 2009

Episode 7x11: Just a load of Hot Shit

Every Monday I dread this show because it is just a load of Hot Shit being served to blind motherfuckers…

Remember the seasons where you used to be excited to turn on the Television and see OTH?

Yeah, me neither! Fucking Hell I cannot remember the last time I didn’t want piss on my television wire so it would blow up and I never have to see this show again. However, I’m pretty fucking certain it ended like at the beginning of 2006 or rather at the end of Season 3. And I actually quit 4, came back five, slept and puked through six and Seven…

Holy motherfucker, this was supposed to be the promise land with no more popeyed Emo Slut or the squinty-faced Douche bag but oh no… they been replaced by Clay the chiseled tooth bastard and Big nosed, sausage faced, moon-pie head Quinn. What the fuck Schwahn, what the generalized Fuck!

The first scene, I won’t lie… I thought that brick-eating dickhead was mouth. LMFAO! I know, but Mouth gets so much fucking screen time, I was just shocked it was someone else. Of course, once I realized Moon-face was going to be eclipsing the screen, I stopped being shocked. Seriously, Can clay have more than one scene without that lifeless Corpse actress sucking the brain juice out of his dick? Fucking hell, she’s giving him all that encouragement but couldn’t even talk to her husband.

And all this feeling sorry for Clay! Why? Now he will be broke like she wanted her husband to be. QuinNasty should be Happy. *Insert eye roll* In fact, Clay should be happy since he spent his time trying to get into the already unlocked Venus Trap door Also known as Quinn’s Nasty bits! So I’m glad that when he went to Kentucky or wherever that Kid called him on not having an Agency and turned him down… originally. *insert another eye roll*

And magically - Quinn and Haley are in a car talking… UGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGH! Will Haley at least get to slap the shit out of Quinn? Cause otherwise this makes no fucking sense! And now Haley is apologizing? What the fuck! Seriously, isn’t Haley talking to Quinn about not being able to choose where to go Spain or Tour, tanks in part to the Quinn & Clay Tag Team from hell! Quinn is a bottom-feeding bitch and didn’t apologize for being a slut. LOL, ha-ha!

That the definition of a Dirty Ass Street Hooker from hell!


Speaking of Hookers, was that a hooker coming out of Jail right in front of Millie. Ha-ha-ha-ha, and is it me or did that Hooker look 10000000000000% times better than Millie! Fucking hell, she’s a pretty girl but not gorgeous enough to be a model! Seriously, Millie looks like she had been sticking her face into a blender or Clay’s teeth of fury… o_O!

Luckily, Victoria is around to kick Millie in the asshole.

Not really much to say about Naley… they were perfection as usual. Nathan is being supportive of Haley taking Jamie on tour with her around the country. Jamie was making a video with Chuck to help Skillz go to jail…Um, I meant to an LA basketball camp for the youth. :D

Oh and Nathan will never forgive Dan, so can we stop seeing it now. Worst than that time Nathan kept flying through unbreakable windows. And can we stop seeing Dan being slapped and kicked by people. I know Jimmy’s mother is made at Dan for letting Jimmy take the Blame but as a former BL fan, Hahaha, I hate Jimmy for not shooting Seyton SaWHORE ScotTrick in the Fucking throat! Lets see her suck Lucas’ face and acting abilities down her throat then- Muhahahahahahahahahahhaahahahaha!

Now, on to what is really pissing me off:

Brooke asked Julian in the beginning…

“What did I do to deserve you?”

Well, Brooke, apparently your character pissed Mark Schwahn the fuck off because that’s the only way anyone could deserve that sort of punishment! Shit maybe Sophia bush snatched his mouth off that chick who played Peyton’s ass after he had it surgically attached… hell, I don’t know but you sure as fucking pissed him off in some sort of way.

I mean Damn, it didn’t take Julian even a boob rub, some leg, hell he didn’t even get a fucking blow job from Alex before he spill the beans about Brooke’s personal business. Seriously, starting to think that he was born with women genitals. That’s right, I’m saying it… that Dude is a Fucking Pussy! Seriously, people think Brooke has his Balls in a purse, well I don’t think he was even born with balls! He’s the ball-less wonder, which is fucked up because I know my brains are in my balls so….

(LOL, I feel sick and bad for even saying that) I think we all know that dude is dumber than a box of rocks.

Brooke should have beat the shit out of Alex when she came into Brooke’s store (a store she was fired from after all, with baby pamphlets. Now if this doesn’t make Dumb-ass Julian see that Alex is a Cracked out Dirt-Skank, than the dude is dumber than that EMO bitch who believed Brooke fell down the stairs. But yet again, I have to say that I still feel those Brucas Undertones! LOL

Like when Victoria said that Julian might not be the one for Brooke and then Brooke said that she might NOT be the one for Julian… totally a BL moment flashback as well as when right afterwards Jamie brought but Lucas! So I know Chad Michael Douche is never coming back but Damn I miss BL. They will always be the IT couple of Tree Hill with Naley of course!

And I am so happy Brooke finally dumped Julian! YAY! But are we supposed to feel bad for Alex cause she tried to kill herself. Sorry, but she brought it on herself and all the Schwahn’s pity me tries won’t work with me! And if Brooke Takes Julian back because he is sad that Alex cut her fucking wrists like a psycho hoe’s beast because she wanted Julian… Yawn, I’ll quit.

But I will be pissed that he killed off Alex and Not Seyton or QuinNasty! GRRRRRRRRRRR!

What do you think?

Much love Homies,

-Toddian

Monday, November 16, 2009

2 Stars, <3 BALEY <3, A SLUT, & a Junkie

SERIOUSLY...

I give this episode 7.10 2 stars... Because it was good, better than most, but Damn if i a not fucking tired of Mark Schwahn Screwing Brooke over, Screwing Nathan out of Basketball, and Screwing haley out of a descent family member! YES, YES MOTHER-FUCKING HELL, the Schwahn seriously writes from seat or his pants...

Or rather the crack of his ass!

Because this show is Bullshit!

Lets start off with the fact that CLAY's claws-hook mouth and Quinn's Huge Motherfucking Moon face was all over the televison screen! No wonder Nathan fired Clays ass after the bobcats capped another point guard! Seriously, If Clay wasn't so busy trying to gnaw on the fish between QUinnGLY's thighs, he wouldn't have left Nathan out in the cold.

After Dan and Mouth put their careers and personal lives on the line to get Nate where he is today!? UGH, I wanted Dan to drown Clay for using Sarah, his dead wife as an excuse! And while he is at it Kill Millie and Alex.

This Millie on Crack/coke thing is boring---> Nobody cares about her but Brooke should have slapped the ugly off that bitches face. Just line them up like a waiting list for Brooke's SLAP A HO' contest and let BROOKLYN D Bitch slap some bitches... Starting with Julian! Ugh, I was hoping Brooke changed the locks and kicked his ass out.

NO SUCH LUCK!

And seriously, how many years must we endure Nathan's struggle with balls, orange, boucing balls...the Schwahn is making me think he is homosexual? Serious, balls must be important to the Schwahn! I think he has a Crush on Julian too, cause Julian's face whines more than Quinn.

All thoughout his agrument with Alex about the empty coke bottle and thinking she was lying, I was just looking at his shiney forehead. I mean, seriously i think I hate every character on this show except Haley and Brooke!

Both these ladies are what Earns this show 2 stars! First Haley putting Quinn in her place, telling her how selfish she is... Haley for the WIN, and her standing by Nate's decision to fire Clay... I love Haley.

Brooke one the other hand....

WE ALL KNEW SHE WOULDNT BE ABLE TO HAVE KIDS!

Mark Schwahn is a ball-less PRICK... Why the hell do I still watch this show. It looks like Next week is worst! GRRRR, i'm so mad! Seriously, I'm gonna stop before i go into Mark Schwahn Hate rant! This Guy is so fucking lame... bet he gets his storylines from the CAT IN THE HAT!

Fucking dumb fuck...

You guys rant away, I'm pissed!

Monday, November 9, 2009

That Episode With The Schwahn’s Dirty Balls In Brooke Fans’ Faces!

That’s Right, That’s right…

I’m a Brucas/Naley/Baley Fan but first and foremost I’m a Brooke Fan!

That’s right Mother-fuckers, I’m Brooke Davis’ Bitch, a lot like pussy-ass Julian. So, its no surprise that when I first saw the opening scene of One Tree Hill has Brooke and Julia(n) the girl voice! Sitting in BROOKE’s house, on Brooke’s sofa… What does Julian contribute? I mean what is his job?

Oh working with Alex when he could try to produce already established hit books like most people with common sense would do. BUT NOOOOO… Brooke finally agrees to say she loves this prick, follows him to LA, Suddenly wants to get married *GAG ME YOU DICK HEAD MARK* but Julian can’t work with someone else for Brooke.

Fucking hell, that loser sucks as a boyfriend, so yes, of course We have to endue the Talk of Ugly ass, annoying, skeletal Alex… But Hell, anything for my Brooklyn right? WOW!

Before I could nod off, my gag reflexes went into overdose with Wildebeest Millie, Ape-Twin Mouth, and Coma Inducing Alex! Yes, Yes… Millie turned into the worst actor since GOD crapped out Squint-face Chad Michael Murray and Hillwhats her face! Seriously, the actress is just unattractive and couldn’t act like a Bitch if her Mother was a Bulldog! Fucking Hell, and lets be serious here…

The girl is skinny as hell (Mouth found diet pills seriously, Diet pills don’t cure ugly, Millie!) but built like a fucking football player. Seriously, I wouldn’t be surprised if she molested Mouth up his nether hole! When she burst into a sleeping Alex’s bedroom at the hotel all hopped up, high, calling her bitch and shit… it was like watching a rip-off of Season 4 Rachel and Brooke… only the poor man with Brain damage version.

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ…. That’s me sleeping!


Speaking of Unnecessary Eye rape… Quinn and Clay are so fucking boring. Damn, I found myself praying for fucking Dick pimples and Warts! You mean to tell me that we are supposed to believe Quinn has been helping underprivileged kids? Now, since when? Was this between her trying to ride Clay’s Jock or dumping over David for wanting to live the way Clay is leaving now?

Rich? This is like Clay’s what? First time helping others… And Damn, of course some poor Black kid needs help! I guess other races aren’t Poor. *Insert eye roll*

Yes, Yes…

The only good /interesting thing about Mouth is that Rachel is interacting with him. Telling Rachel to go and visit Brooke was The shit! I’m really enjoying Rachel and Dan’s return to Tree Hill. Sorry, But Nathan is getting on my fucking nerves. Damn, how many times does Dan have to pull his ass out of a fucking fire before he can be nice.

He killed Keith? Yes he did! And I don’t want Nathan to forget that, but is it that hard to show humility, to realize that this is your father? To love unconditionally? Damn, Next time Dan should let that orange ball loving douche drown in the Problems HE created! Hell, at this point the only thing good Thing Nate Has going for him is Haley and Jamie!

For the record Dan never ruined anything for Nathan and Clay would have been able to focus if he stayed on the job and off Quinn’s lips. Fucking prick sucks as an Agent! YAWN!

And Can I just say, Haley was rocking that song! This woman can sing her ass off! Rock on B. JOY! She was Amazing! And that song went perfectly with Brooke’s anger at the bar in that Hot ass Black Dress! After finding out that she wasn’t pregnant and Julian bailing on her to save Alex like LucASS used to Save PeytWHORE!

Can Mark Schwahn Get off the Fucking Crack! How can Brooke, Hot ass hell Brooke get stood up by smashed face Julian for Dick faced Alex! Anyone noticed that Julian again took Lucas’ words for Brooke and twisted them for Alex after she called to say she was thinking of taking the Crack cocaine she found in her suit case…

YES PLOT DRIVEN BULSHIT!

Thus Brooke is pissed and she lashes out at Millie who deserved it for still wasting time on the show- Useless Bitch! But Brooke Snapping on Rachel when she never properly opened up a can of whoop-whore-ass on Seyton SaWhore - I will really Hate the Schwahn! Seriously, I wanted Rachel to slap Brooke Back and slap her out of that Day dream, Babies for everyone, frolic in the damn sun with Osama Bin Laden Bullshit and wake the fuck up.

The Brooke Davis I loved Took the bad with the good. The lemon and Made fucking tequila shots with a side of lemon pieces. The old Brooke confronted her feelings and didn’t let any man, especially a loser like Julian! Lucas 2.0 is getting on my damn nerves… time for Julian to die!

Who chooses some chick they barely know over their girlfriend?

So officially, the Schwahn has been slapping Brooke Fans in the face with his dirty, shriveled up balls!

No baby- not that I am mad.

No good guy- but seriously, Julian suck shit asshole!

No Whimsical Spunk - Slapping Rachel is uncalled for when it should have been Millie .

But I love Brooke, so <3>


What do you think?

Monday, November 2, 2009

OTH... Between Boring & Hilarious

Yo, Yo, Yo, Yo…
Let me open with a Rap
I certainly thought
OTH would be Stanking Than that pucas Crap…
With Fugly Ass Quinn
And Chisled Tooth Clay
Didn’t know if her EMO Ass Would Cry
Or Just Give Free Emo ASS Away
But Oh was I surprised
High Brooke and Haley Were Left Alone
The Only Thing More Sexi than those vixens
Was Clay Hot Dead Wife in a Thong!
The Camping Trip was Lame
And Nathan needs Kick Julian’s big Forehead
Teaching a Kid To be a coward
Damn Dan Always sees the Dead!
Rachel Loves Dan,
Even though she paid for a guy to die
And If Mouth Doesn’t look like a Monkey
Than Everybody Must be missing both eyes
That kid named Chuck
And Julian should be Twins
Is it me
Or Something weird suck the curve from his chin….



Hahahaha…

Seriously, Tonight was the best, but it didn’t suck really.

Dan being in Mexico about to get a heart… Fucking Dumb but interesting! LOL! I can say that Mark Schwahn is a Damn idiot. But at least Rachel really loves him as proven after he fainted on the set of his show. She proved that she would do anything for him to live including pay parents of a boy on life-support in order to get his heart!

I could do with Quinn and her Drama and Clay’s Whining over Sarah. Last week was enough, but now… Bullshit. GET THE FUCK OFF MY TV, Bitches. Damn, they are about as boring as Alex and Milli who were thankfully gone.

But how desperate is Quinn, Running after Clay in the middle of a fucking rain storm! To his house and Stalking him,, asking what they are… well… Clay is a widower You DUMB FUCKING WHORE! And You, ARE STILL MARRIED BITCH!

I was starting to enjoy her when she baked brownies and got Haley and Brooke High, but seriously leaving them alone in a big House while High. When I am High as hell I do stupid shit… and what sort of message or they sending children anyway? UGH… but I digress, any Brooke/Haley is GREAT!

And the Camping, I thought the Julian Hate was Hilarious. I hate the DUDE with a passion but really hated him giving Jamie and Excuse not to face his fears. That’s what you do… He is such a loser and made a big dead about the sex tape… Skillz has a big Fucking mouth, can’t wait for his ass to go to jail… Fucking thief… (the actor not the character)!

Anyway, didn’t Julian read Lucas’s Boring ass Book… Hahahaha, apparently NOT!

And speaking of Lucas… I loved Dan’s little pick about Having Lucas on the show because he wasn’t doing anything! HILARIOIUS! In Your Face Pucas Fans! Muhahahahahahaha! Fucking Losers!

But Lets be real… Who really gave a Fuck about this episode. BALEY were HOT and Awesome but the preview of the next episode is my concern.

I am quitting…

Brooke Having a baby for Julian’s Big head, smashed face, ugly ass Boring as fucking dry ass, SHIT-Turds! Fuck you, Mark Schwahn! Fuck you and you’re annoying,, Force-feeding hand on Dick writing! I hate Julian! I hate this entire fucking show!

And I hope Millie and ALEX overdose and DIE!

Monday, October 26, 2009

Great The Chisled Tooth Agent & Whinny Bitch Show!


Holy SHIT! HOLY, HOLY, Boring ass SHIT, Batman!

On would think that with so much possible Drama with Naley with Even Brulian (BOOlian to me) that Dickhead Schwahn would want to stop playing with his Johnson and decide to write what we want to see... But OH KNOW! OH KNOW!



I Spy, in My Eye, the PUCAS REPLACEMENT!



What in Heavens name made Dork Schwahn think we would give two shits about Clay, his Ghost wife, and Ugly ass Quinn! Damn! Where is the big Naley focus... all Naley are doing is sitting around on couches watching Dan Possibly railroad the Nasty groupie or his Career...

Boring... Zzzzzzzzzz! I wanted them to show up o the scene but at least they are actually featured. Where the Bloody Fucking Hell is Brooke? One scene in the beginning and all this Big ass nosed Quinn and Lame as Clayton 24-7!

I don't give a FUCK about these two bitches!

First of all we have Hurricane Skanks clothes are all over Clays Yard, assuming David threw them there. UM, GO DAVID! Dumb that Dirty ASS SLUT! And we spend a good 15 minutes whating this whore basically pant her way through a conversation with Clay... Who mother fucking cares.

I want Naley and Brooke! Hell, even the Dan shit is more interesting! Love Dan sticking it to that Thieving BITCH! Where his Haley with that Lead arm to smack that witch down to size! Loving that Dan is showing his dark side but for a good reason. And now that Blonde Squint-a-Douche is off lord Knows where, we can finally see Dan forgiven!

Because this nice Dan shit is beginning to get on my nerves. But Rachel & Dan working together to take down this bitch is AWESOME! How can they, My Gorgeous Nathan and Haley Not believe that Dan is trying to help them. He is making look great and getting rid of this BITCH! HELL to the FUCK yes!


... Then again, that Lie Detector Test on his show that Renee the Groupie is taking is having alot of True's about Nathan. But they are never 100% accurate, if at all!

But just when its getting good... No Brooke Sighting (only the little redundant EMO SHIT that head Writer Mark Schwahn Keeps pumping out of his asshole onto the screenplay) and all this Clay/Ghost Sarah/Quinn triangle! UGH... I am so about to Jump off a bridge like Sarah and Clay on the bridge in their first meeting flashback.

But seriously, Clay needs to stop eating fucking Bricks if he insists on smiling so damn much! Fucking Hell, Maybe he can gnaw on Quinn's Gigantic Nostrils... In that random Flashback about the husband she is being a bitch too, i thought she was going to poke the dude in the eye with that Nose Dagger!

I'm sorry, i know that is mean, but its true.... Hahahaha! Hate me if you want, i don't give a fuck!


JESUS, but thats the only thing interesting about the annoying Crybaby... Let me get this start, this man goes off to make money to buy that annoying bitch ass moocher a Dark-room for her photos and probably a car since she claimed in that ridiculous flashback that she walked everywhere.


Seriously... are we supoosed to feel bad because she wants to stay poor! Oh, WOW! He wants to live out of poverty and thats a bad thing! What a dumb ass shit head! i hope she Kills herself... I can imagine she is the blonde rat-headed, Popeyed bimbo from season 1-6!


But just when i was ready 45 minutes into the program, to turn the Channel... Dan Blew that lying Renee Slut out of the water! Now If Nathan doesn't forgive Dan for What he has done, i will never watch this shitty show again. Honestly, Dan is the only thing that saved the night!


And also...


Clay's Ghost Wife has more Chemistry

with

Him than Quinn!
Mean picture... But you know thats why you love and read this blog! Muhahahaha!




Monday, October 19, 2009

So, I was too busy picking the Jam from my toe...

To even concentrate on this boring ass bullshit these motherfucking mush brain writers lead by none other than Captain Limp Dick Mark SchwahNoob are shoving down our throat. Honestly, you know how boring and useless this entire show is... Brooke is my favorite character but this julian shit is killing me...

Seriously, I love Brooke putting Alex TraBitch in her Place but Julian's ugly, squinty face (yes, lucas had squinty eyes but the wholw half of that dude's face looks like it is about to fold over into a damn ass crease) ass needs to go. he is a boring, timewasting dickwad. seriously, dud is loving the attention from that Alex kid and it is annoying.

And the fact that he called Brooke basically a HOE_bag while they were in bed shows that all the bullshit speech he gave season 6 about not thinking she was a slut was a DAMN LIE! Even worse, he doesn't tell Brooke that the girl is perving on him. What work/producer relationship is that? Thats how you get sued for sexual harrassment!

Damn, all these characters are stupid.

Even worse, I don't give a fuck about Mouth and Millie.... seriously, she gets her own storyline while brooke is attached to those losers. We all know Millie would never be a model and the fact that Ugly ass Mouth is still using his big lips to suck the soul out of any OTH viewer is starting to creep me out. Seriously, I wish he would get off Mark Schwahn's dick so i wouldn't have to see hi again.

But the worse is Mia and Chase... All brooke is going is propping that ugly ass Stick with her balloon Tits and that boring ass ab-less fucker, Chasity belt Chase. Seriously, when brooke starts basically becoming the prop to that Chia pet Genital Fungus- and yes they are like STD crabs who keep hanging on the OTH's gonads- thats when its time to quit!

The Naley was actually good though.

I love that Naley actually talked about the possiblity thta Nathan did cheat and that Nathan proved (sort of) that Renee is lying. And the Dan/Rachel/Renee... i don't like that they are making Rachel the villian... she has always been badass but never heartless.... Mark Schwahn needs to think outside the little box of dumb he lives in. Stop jerking off the Pictures of the blonde beaver wig wearing, pop-eyed bitch that shall not be named!

But I can't even get into them without Quinn hanging around moping like a big nosed nagging Bitch rag! Shut the Fuck up Pinocchio and Go Whine your ugly ass else where. Damn! That bitch must come with a turn off button. Hell, she made me hate nathan for even inviting her to stay! Didn't that bitch say she wouldn't stay at Naley's because it was too much drama! That bitch needs to die!

Clay is the new lucas, seeing dead people I'm guessing. Is this ghost lady his wife, because i feel a ghost Kieth/Sarah/suck asshole writing from the pencil dick of the schwahn! UGH, I hate it. So someone let me know! Grazie!

Much love Homies,

-Toddian

Monday, October 12, 2009

Really Hating this Show...

Holy Fuck, I am bored out of my Mind...

First of all, Fuck all this Quinn big nose ass Drama! That ugly ass bitch needs to either die or jump in front of a damn bus... which will still end with the BEST case scenerio! Death to that Sleazy crap-vag Bitch-ass whiney WHORE! I don't care if she slept with Clay or not, you don't go home with a strange man when you are married. So no matter if they touched each other or not... cheating is cheating- emotional or just disrespect!

And Lord i pray that the Chia Pet (Chase and Mia) fungus would crash in Hellfire in that airplane. nobody wants to see that shit! hell, give me BOOLian, even though i am hating Julian and Alex... Grease 2... so we know they both like it and will cheat, of course! Stupid ass, fucked in the head by purple gay unicorn ~Mark Schwahn!

And this Milli/Mouth Drama with the damn modeling... Don't insult our intelligence. Milli is too ugly and sloppy to be a model! Models: Plus-size or petite, have to be HOT! She is not HOT... she is a boring waste of time, thats whaT SHE IS. And this Alex, friendship shit is getting on my nerves...

Alex is a whore who want Julian... WHY? WHY? EWWW! Brooke needs to dump that loser, of course we would have to see Brooke more than five minutes for that to happen! GRRRR! Ass-fuck Schwahn! I hate that dude.

Instead we get poor Haley doubting Nathan and going to Jail! GReat for her son... NOT! So they just have to ruin Naley since Boolian already sucks. Seriously, why is Brooke jealous of some B-list actress who is ugly as hell. i mean, when we do get to see Brooke since the focus is on Alex... Wha, wah! I'm so tired of this shit!


DEATH to JULIAN/ALEX/QUINN!

More Baley... or at least a little bit! i am like two seconds away from quitting this show.

Tell me what you think, i'm so pissed!

Monday, October 5, 2009

UGH... Who are all these people?

Thats Right Guest Stars from hell!

Holy Shit! Is anyone even watching this SHITfest.... Is everyone on this motherfucking show just lost, huh? First of all, Brooke and Julian- while I hate this couple but even they have no screen time. All we have is Alex hitting on Julian -EW and Julian being an idiot! Big headed ass... i hope he jumps in fro nt of a moving bus for being so damn foolish.

All I see is Quinn and Clayton....ZZZZZZZZZZZ! Clay punching Quinn's husband... who cares. i kinda want that man to beat his ass! I am hating everyone. Especially Quinn... nobody cares about that lame ass, big nosed, ass on her face bitch! Damn, she can die too! BITCH! All that Mello Drama, just tell the man you don't love him anymore.

So annoy. I'm pretty sure I blacked out with the whole Milli modeling shit! But how ironic she can fit into those clothes. Stupid Mark, just write the crap that comes out of your hairy, crab cover ass , why don't you! Damn it!

Then we have Naley... Love Haley, but this is borning. The Pap's are following them and asking about the woman? I see no drama at all. So Jaime got in a little mess at with his friends about Nate's pregnant Groupie whore! OOOOh, who cares. I feel numb!


Brooke's fashion show in Tree Hill, Thats so lame! I want to like this show but I am so bored. Where is fiesty Brooke? Why aren't they in a big city!? Brooke needs a storyline and Quick or i'm getting my walking papers and jetting!

You know what, I want to hear what you guys think because to me it all sucked.

Monday, September 28, 2009

YAWN.... Fuckers? I wanna See Brooke!

I could go on and on raving about how WONDERful this show was!

But Damn it I'd be a mother-fucking Liar!

Where is the interaction of the core group? Where is the focus on the core characters? Where? Where? Where? All I get is A Stupid Fucking Photoshoot on top of Tric, Julians windshield wiper big ass Forehead blocking the screen, ALEX the Annoying dumbasss bitchy Shit faced SLUT! Ugh....

Not only do we not get to see Haley's reaction to the Groupie HO' but not I have to watch Nathan worry and whine! GREAT! *Insert eyeroll*

Holy shit am I bored out of my mind... its like everything I don't want to see Happens...

I don't know if Mark Schwahn is just tossing his own Salad (Homo-erotic son a bitch- Cause we all know that asshole has to be lusting after Mouth and Skillz cause they never have any clothes on!) - Or maybe he is tossing shit-turds on the script because nothing but lame ass Bullshit is Flying at Off my TV screen.

First of all- Why the hell Die Dan not tackle that son of a bitch screaming at him that he was a murder! I mean, the man wrote a book, how can peopple not already be aware of this shit! And Why did they make a Rachel a Stripper and a prostitute when she first MET DAN! These writers are just useless assholes!

Speaking of Useless... this Mouth and Skillz Bullshit has got to stop! UHHHHHHHH! I want to kill myself by stabbing myself in the eyes watching Monkey Boy and Cue Ball flirt with Animals a Such- GET THE FUCK OFF MY SCREEN! And Take Milli that Fucking Brooke Wannabe and with you! Why is she doing Brooke's job and why is Brooke always depressed.

Haley has a Reason but Brooke... Damn those writers and their obsession with EMO-I-tis! And let just say that at least Haley has a right to be upset. As far as she knows Nathan doesn't know where to stick his dick and where not to! And since Quinn has no respect for marriage and is already flirting with CLAY... only a matter of time before Pinnochio- Yes Jennifer, I notice that big ass nose Quinn has: Hahaha!- gets her claws into Nate...

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ..... And Is Julian just a clueless motherfucker not to see that that Dumbass Model wants his body... but boy will she be surprised when she finds out that Julians Nutsack is in Brooke's purse! seriously, I know he gave up the movie to be with brooke but does he have no friends! Ugh, Maybe that smushed face, Booty on head, Freakish large elf ears and pansy voice scared them away...

Needless to say... I have nothing to say about Brooke because she hasn't been doing anything! UGH. I watch for Brooke! So Chop, Chop SCHWAHN! Chop! CHOP!

Did you guys enjoy it?

Let me know,
-Toddian

Monday, September 21, 2009

(SOS) Season of SHOCKERS & LAUGHS

DACHEL!? Brooke, Marriage, Julian’s Father…?

Haley might lose her company and Hell Yeah OTH! This is the OTH I know and love. Every scene was intense or Funny or romantic! Its about time OTH step up the game! I have to say that the Dan/Rachel marriage was AWESOME for the Shock effect! Who would have ever thought Rachel and Dan would hook up or even marry!

Can you imagine those two when they return to Tree HILL? That’s like Satan Marrying Hitler (If Satan were a redhead with nice Boob-age!) And with all the drama going on in Tree Hill, those two Are bound to be the icing on the cake. But Dan will have some competition in the bad Dad department!

What the BLOODY FUCKING HELL… Julian’s father is a BITCH! Who walks into Someone’s house? Brooke’s house? And starts telling Julian that he is making a mistake by Being with a promiscuous Fashion Designer? BULL SHIT! Julian should have kicked his ass- I’m not the biggest Julian fan, but he should have stood up for his girlfriend. Brooke would have told Victoria where to go had it been her!

But our Brooklyn told Julian’s Daddy how much ass he could Kiss! GO BROOKE! That girl is strong and I love her fun Bitchy side. Like with her dumb ass model Alexis- DAYUM! Ha-ha-ha, that girl was dumb and it cracked me up. I loved Brooke wanting to dump her and trying to speak Spanish to get rid of her.

But in the end she played Brooke with her little speech about the dress. It was one of her lines from her movie! Awesome! Ha-ha! That was Classic and the Brooke I miss! Especially about the Poster Julian was hanging up!

THAT IS PERFECT! It’s the crazy stuff that Makes Brooke so beautiful and special. Watching strong and independent Brooke was just Beautiful and I officially love this show! But, I have to admit that I see Paul’s or whatever Julian’s father’s name is point! I mean, just because you are in love doesn’t mean you have to give up everything! Especially not to move to suck ass Tree Hill were assholes and Psycho’s grow like grass! But for the sake of the show, I understand the plotline.

But look at Haley- she gave up her dream of singing and got on the major labels are soulless kick and now she may lose the company OR COULD HAVE! BUT Damn you OTH, just when I get all excited, the WALKING gobble necked Broom stick aka MIAnnoyance walks in to save the day! UGH, please kill her weird British lady with no acting abilities! Seriously, if Haley has to mention Peyton one more time I’m gonna reach into the TV and strangle her.

But I did love her mocking Lucas and Peyton in the fake conversation to herself! Ha-ha-ha, she did the hands in Pocket and squint Lucas always does and the OWL eyed SEYTON face of shock, pain, annoyance! It was hilarious and after Mia came in and Haley called her a Bitch… Hilarious! I love feisty Haley!

And when she gets a hold of that Groupie trying to claim Nathan is her baby Daddy! OOOOO WEEE! Haley is gonna eat that ass up! Ha-ha! I loved this episode so much I can’t stop smiling. I even loved the Nathan and Clayton! Clayton was being the serious agent to that girl but when Nate burst in and went off on her, I think Nate is finally manning up! Its about time.

But I do have to ask…?

Are the only poor people in Tree Hill Black? Seriously- Go fuck yourself MARK! I mean, Dan happens upon Homeless African American male as he leaves his show. The guys is talking belligerent and of course looking like Jamie colored Marker all over his fast! I was like, who the hell painted you damn face like that! Damn, OTH and their Cheap ass imitation, Half ass Bullshit!

Side notes:

1. Heart So True-The name of Alexis Film …. that was the name of the BL book wasn’t it? Ha-ha-ha… Mark is a prick but a Hilarious ONE!

2. Did Mia and Chase get Married? Hahaha!

3. I loved it! Did you?

Much Love Homies,

-Toddian



Monday, September 14, 2009

Episode 1: So Basically they are Dead to Everyone but Brooke Hahahahaha!

It’s a Bird!


It’s a PLANE!


It’s the last of Kanye West’s Mother-fucking Sanity?!




NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! It’s One Tree Hill raising like the Phoenix from the pile of hot bubbling stank-ass Bullshit of SEASON SUX *Cough* I mean Six’s PUKEFEST-O-Rama!

Or is this just a trick by Dork IsuckMajorAsSchwahn while he slips in as much of that PUCAS rash of EPIC EMOness, Guest Stars from Time-wasting Hell, and FORCED Cheese-tastic relationships on us?



Hmm….



Does He Really think that Just because SOPHIA BUSH is looking Sexy as Hell, And BECAUSE B. JOY looks HOT enough to Eat, and (To rope in all the child-molesting Pervs, of course) Haley’s Older sister Looks like a Fifteen Year old who’s been slapped in the face with a Tree Branch - That we are all going to just give this show ANOTHER Chance?



Ummm, A HELLS YES! Hahaha!



This Clayton Dude as Potential! Nate better Not have knocked up some Group WHORE! And Julian… Why Can’t he die? Muhahahaha! I hate that guy, but I would Take him over Cat Screaming, Bitch ass, stick pole MIAnnoyance, Bore Me to Death Chastity Belt Chase, and UGLY ASS Mouth!
But lets get into the Episode Shall we!?

First Up, DAN! 14months since the EVE of Nathan’s first NBA game, Dan is still alive and going strong even though he should be dead! Yeah, and Mark Schwahn wasn’t raised by brain Dead Chimps! -Sense the sarcasm?-We all knew our resident Immortal Vampire, walking deadbeat Dad would be alive and well spreading his own brand of Child abandoning joy to the world!

What is surprising is that He is standing in front of a big ass UNNECESSARY time clock chatting about how he didn’t get to see Nathan finally juggle those orange balls he loves so much! After spending Like Five-thousand fucking years, a broken leg, flying through bullet proof windows like a crash test dummy, and saving all the underprivileged black players in the world (Damn , Some days I Hate Mark Schwahn!) Nathan is in the NBA… YAY!

Of course, saving the Black youth and showing how poor and underprivileged they are is just A MUST! BECAUSE of all the FANs OTH has Screwed over: BRUCAS FANS, Haley fans who want an actual storyline, I guess Mark figured he may as well piss off African American viewers and stereotype the entire ethnicity.

That’s right, I’m guessing Haley’s 15 year old... I mean young looking but mysteriously older than Haley & Taylor (I guess) sister is having a moment of pathetic clarity while starting at a black girl picking up a bullet shell in her front yard! I mean, what sort of clarity she would get from this, no one knows but apparently the African American struggle just makes her see how much of her life she is taking for granted.

IS AL SHARPTON on the OTH writing staff and I just don’t know about it, or what!

I’m getting pissed off because this is becoming too much stereotypes. Seriously, First Q , then Nate and the black players he gave up his spot for like a Damn fool, Skillz being like the only semi-star on the show to not be successful, Giving away Biggie & Pac CD's and now this…

*Cue* Hales Jamming just a little too Hard to her own Music. NOW I ADMIT, this SHIT SOUNDED TOO DAMN GOOD even though it personally wasn’t my style of Music but I was like:

“Damn Hales, why don’t you just grab a stripper pole and get to work! LOL!”

The way Hales was jerking, jumping up and breaking it down, you would have thought she had crabs and they were making lunch of her crotch. The crabs might have come from the HOBO’s clothes she stole and decided it was cool to wear! Hahaha, LOL! So, I don’t like that first outfit, but we all Have to admit HALEY is looking DAMN HAWT this season!

So with some serious rump shaking music playing, I was up two-stepping to Haley’s song when BOOLIAN popped up on the screen! I never thought I would say this when Brooke/Sophia was on my Screen but HOLY FUCK how many BL SCENES can you steal, Fuckers! Seriously, Julian the girl voice bitch is getting some tongue in the BRUCAS spot…?

Ugh, I really wish Mark Schwahn would stop wiping those Sunkist Induced orangish Green turds from his ass with the new scripts thus forcing him to use old episodes and pawn them off as if they are newly written material. Seriously, I'm so Sending this douche bag some Charmin for Christmas.

And this is where my annoyance starts!

Okay, now when did Millicent the Girlfriend of Mr. I’m To Hideous to be Seen become Brooke!? Are you shitting me, Brooke should be the one running Clothes over BRO’s and so should VICTORIA! I guess that fucking asshole Mark had to turn Brooke into SEYTON. Begging Mr. Five Head McControl Freak to come back Tree Hill which he won’t do!

Of course he had no problem forcing her to tell him she loved him after like two months, a Shag, and Lucas Clone Speech! But now We are supposed to believe that Brooke is all "PLEASE COME BACK! PLEASE! I took one for the team and made you closet space even though you could be a mass murder!"
Fuck that Douche Bag Mark and his Dick-a-pick writing...

Meaning his head is in his BALLS and his Sack is the size of a shrunken Peanut! And that MARRY ME shit in the SAND... Is it wrong that I want whatever Syphilis type STD is eroding the Schwahn's brain ater having multiple Orges with Mouth, to finish him off!

SpEaking of MOUTH.... EWWWWW! I JUST POURED BLEACH IN MY FUCKING EYES TO RID AWAY THAT SICKENING IMAGE! I think i threw up at least half the length of my small and large intestine! NEVER, EVER, Have a seen something so crule and Vommiting induciing than a naked MONLEY on the Loose! YUCK! I’m sorry, but Mouth has that Me want Banana, Hairy, swing from trees thing going on.

I don't care if he wants Skillz out of theapartment so he can live with Milli or not! What if Skillz would have panicked and gone blind, taken a knife to his thraot because he though a mass murdering Monster was about to Rape him! UGH! Thats just NASTY!

And what sort of frend wants their BFF to move out... how about his sorry ass move out! EASY! UGH! We should all sue the CW for attempted Murder by Drop Dead Yuckiness! EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! I'm just fucking scarred for life!

But not to scarred to miss the BOOLian at Jamie's 7th birthday wish Cheese fest! So Jaime tells Brooke he is going to make a wish for her and himself and of course Brooke believe's Jamie wished for Julian. Honesly, I am trying to like them but the more I watch the more I keep hoping Brooke and Clayton run into each other! Hahaha! I know its wrong, but Clayton and Brooke seem like they would be SO SEXY, HOT, and FUN... the way Brulian would have been if Captain Dick-a-Pick, The Schwahn's new name, had to turned then into the could that shall not be named!

OH FUCK YEAH... its like they died Twenty years ago and everyone forgot them except Lucas Lame-ass basketball gift! Isn't Nate a professional B-Ball player with his own Card! Didn't Jaime put it up? So why in the hell would Jamie need a Basketball when we all know his Dad has them lying around the house! Hahaha, stupid OTH writers.

Anyway, I did think some of the Brulian was cute thought. But One thing I know is that Julian makes Brooke think about SEYTON...

I can't believe the Schwahn had Brooke Say People Always Leave...

I just bit the shit out of my tongue because of that shit!

Clayton so showed Nathan up with the actual Jerry Rice instead of the signed Jersey! And Brooke writing Jamie a Check for his birthday, I'm sorry but BROOKE & CLAYTON would be so GREAT!

Laughing my Mother Fucking Ass Off!

Nate and Clayton are the coolest friends! hahaha! Lucas Who? But I do not like Quinn and Clayton was asking Nate who is the HOT girl! Seriously, she has a husband and I know this show has not morals BUT Damn, I'd rather another Dog eat a random heart than this shit! But even sicker is the OTHER RANDOM GROUPIE and CLAYTON... I was hoping he would turn her away, but Mark has to ruin everything by making Clayton a user D-Bag!

And I know they are so gonna ruin the Clayton/Nathan Bromance over a something because this friendship is just too good! Hahahahaha! At first I was thinking: All this Clay & Nate, What the hell is Haley's storyline? She song for the first two minutes and ten WHAM! Nothing! Then ten minutes at the end and some Lady is trying to close down Haley's studio & Tric and Stuff!

HELL YEAH, a business STORYLINE! I love those sorts and I hope Mark doesn't FUCK it up by rushing it! I am loving this and HALEY! <3> Now if I could get some fucking BALEY! YES sir, I'd be STOKED! I don't want all this Haley Quinn but it is giving Haley some time to shine, But I fear the Prop Syndrom!

And finally it come full circle... Dan is on a talk show/tv show! HAHAHAHAH! CLASSIC!

So basically, I loved this First Episode other than the ridiculouslness & Can't wait for me Next Monday!

VIVA LA NEW OTH... no MORE dead weight!

What did you guys think about this episode?

-Toddian



Saturday, August 22, 2009

Short and Simply to the POINT: WTF SKILLZ


So we all know I don't like PUCAS, SEYTON, LUCAS THE DUFUS, and Spawn and we all know that I am just waiting for the new season to start before I start back blogging... But what the FUCK Skillz! LOL!

What the fuck was this clueless motherfucker thinking when he decided it was fun to steal people's Social security Number and sell them for chump change! LOL! i mean, not making $50,000 or shit like that, but this fool is going to jail over shit like $10,000!

Well, apparently the DUMB FUCK-itis doesn't fall too fair from the one TREE hill! LOL, he and Mark must have been Smoking that EPIC suckage when his dumbass decided it was cool to STEAL!

Well, watch your ass in Jail SKILLZ. I know a couple of dudes who love Dark meat, Just saying! LOL! :-)

Monday, May 18, 2009

Boring! Boring! BORRRRRIIING! Like and Overdose on Barney & NightQuill!

First of all, The Whore didn’t even go to the grave! Instead she wakes up saying her own last name! Seriously, this bitch HAS SINGLE handedly spread Misery and Whining in the form of EMO AIDS! Like, what does it take for her to die? A crucifix, silver bullet and fucking virgin sacrifice…

Of maybe a virgin giving it up to Mouth, the nuisance of ugliness combined with Lucas cheeses! Holy Fuck! Am I the only person willing to slit my fucking throat to never have to breathe the same oxygen as that loser! Seriously, Pointless Mouth, Chia the fungi growing Pet parasites and pretty Millie can all rot in hell.

I don’t care about Chase and his second chin or Mia and her lack of control over obvious anorexia! No, I wish they would fall in a shallow hole with Pucas and Die! Because, I could have been doing so many things while Chicken neck Pop-eyes McGee lay in Vampire Hibernation (You know, since she is a soulless, vapid waste of sperm and egg!)

The only good thing was that neither Nathan nor Haley gave two shits! Ha-ha-ha, hell, they would have rather folded clothes and attended a Bobcats game in Charleston than see Captain Unemployed and his Family of insect-like creatures whine through more scenes.

Nathan’s comeback has been so boring! I know, finally Nathan is in the NBA as a Bobcat, but last I checked they haven’t rep’d the NBA as good franchise team since…um*cough*cough* NEVER! Ha-ha-ha! Go figure, we will never hear about his ass- and he went to the NBA first string, are you kidding me?

And also Dude is having an affair with multiple balls, and I’m not sure if I mean basketballs! Nino, Q, can this guys just adore his hot wife! Naley are THE core couple! No matter what MARK the DORK believes, Naley has the BIGGEST fanbase along side Brooke and Neither us Naliens nor Brooke fans get any love!

The fact that they don’t interact with my beautiful Brooklyn and the PucASS incest twins is sort of ridiculous! Um, I mean does Hales even have a storyline, or is she just a piece of ass to stare at! Seriously, b. Joy Is one of the most talented actresses this crap-ass show has and she folds the staff laundry!

What next, will she be moping the floors… although, if she were moping up Seyton’s tainted, backstabber blood of poisonous death, I would overlook the fact that B. Joy (a gorgeous, multitalented, smart, successful woman) is being neglected and treated like shit!

But what do I expect when her skills would blow his masturbation obsession image, aka skeletal sack of skin Peyton, out of the fucking waters! All mop stick whore can do is whine and cry… Please, do not let the CW talk you into coming back chick who plays Peyton, I begth you!

Seriously, poor Moira aka Karen, Lucas Mom, looked so sad trying to act beside Zombie boy. I could see the imaginary AK 47 she kept pointing to her temple every time Luke-ASS dry heaved another line from his cue card! I wonder what he would do if they said, “Hey CMM act like you’re a mentally challenged, Prick!”

I bet he wouldn’t even have to rehearse his line, just pull from his catatonic state of non-personality, monotone sleep walking soul and just babble! The lifeless ass-wipe, can’t wait to watch his newest lifetime movies… or even worse, Hallmark Holiday Specials (CRINGE!)

The only good parts were Dan and Whitey together! First time I ever shed a tear because it made me want to forgive my father! I don’t know what magical weed Mark smoked to make his season 1-3 mojo return for those scenes, but he need to take some of those hits daily...Morning, noon, and night!

I must say I am stoked that Whitey interacted with Nathan and not that ass, Lucas! Last thing we need is our Anti-hero, fuck-head shitting up more scenes with squints and half pants of words through the script! I think I know why Dan ran to the country where Whitey conveniently stays where LucASS can’t find him!

I believe the man just said, “NO MARK, I refuse to have scenes with that prick… PeytWHORE already sucked away some of my talent by watching her do that wide blank, googly-eyed stare!”

Hell, he had to stay away from two of the worst actors ever. Even Brooke and Julian avoid those genital warts transporters like the plague! Nobody makes physical contact with those two because they fear the inability to say a line in the script without looking like Ray Charles crossing the street will rub off on them!

So That’s why I’m not even pissed that BL didn’t interact! BJu was enough for me with their flirting and Julian waiting outside the hospital with Brooke! The way he stares at her like she is the only woman in the world is so perfect! If only he never caught Emo HerPEYTONS from the bottle orange haired whining freak, I might like him but now I hate him!

But Victoria's inquiry actually made him interesting! It’s like he somehow got through to her old Lucas season 1-3 style! So when Victoria gave Brooke contract in Clothes Over Bros to and said Brooke could have the company 100 percent, I tears up a bit! And Brooke called her Mom, as much as I HATE Sam, she should come back so it can be Mom, Grandma, and Daughter- three Davis Girls, like the Gilmore Girls! Ha-ha-ha!

But the ending with Julian and the CHRISTMAS lights shenanigans was corny and heinous, not worthy of my Brooklyn, but more Pucas! Especially Julian’s… If this were a movie you would kiss me…and Brooke’s…no I would say I love you then kiss you! Ugh, bore me to tears!

I JUST realized this show just blows! Brooke is too Hot for Julian and his insecurities and forced ultimatums of love or be left...So Forehead Douche can kick rocks! I want Naley & the Davis Girls next season!

I will never have Brucas and would never have had them if Pucas stayed, so good riddance CMM & Chick who I don’t know name! See ya at the unemployment and future has-been and where are they now station!

Post script: Guess who got their minor degree in occupational therapy! ME! Ha-ha, haters kiss ass you sick fucker! LOL!

So I leave you with this!

OTH’s OFFICIAL DROP of DEAD WEIGHT Rap!

Boom! Chicka, chicka…

Yo, what, yo, what, HOLLA

That Emo Bitch My Not be Dead
A Chainsaw should have took off that head
But I’ll settle for watching Our popeyed Redhead Leave
And take Squinty boy and the Spawn, I begged on my knees
See we all knew Mark SchWahn was too much of an obsessive Dick
To Kill of that Hideous, Poser Wannabe Rocker Chick
But thank GOD for Celebrity Greed
Or Psycho Lucas Stalker would stay once again to whine, beg and plea!
Take that Crab infested ho and her Man-slut too
Shove them out a window, with the spawn to boot
First they rip off poison of their weeding vows
Now the Comet drives away Classic Grease style, oh wow
If only they would drag the bodies of Waste of space Chase,
Mia And that Monkey face Mouth, who can only be viewed with eyes filled with mace
I hope I wish that Dan would have shot that bitch
But it’s too much 2 ask from a sexually homo erotic Head writer Prick


Ha-ha! So long EMO Bitch & Squinty the Faith of all Douche-bags, your reign of terror ends NOW! MUHHHHHHAAAA!

Too Much? LOL, well I’m Excited, being the devoted Catholic that I am, I could not bear to witness Satan incarnated onto flesh: Seyton ELIARbeth SaWHORE Scott, destroying the feeble minds of those psycho lunatic Pukers! That’s right, those schizophrenic nut jobs think PEYTWHORE is not only a real character, but that she is HOT!

Yeah, I hot pile of cow shit with rotten maggots hunching all over ticks and fleas!

Much love Homies,

-Toddian

Monday, May 11, 2009

WTHMFS…. Manuel for Turning a Trashy Bitch in Heat into a Married House Tramp…

Sorry about the wait, but this had to be perfected! Ha-ha! LOL! 

Episode #: Eternally Heading To Cancellation Part 24

Episode Rating: 2 Mucus Filled Pukes, 1 Crap of Maggot Filled Bull Shit, a possibly transgender Bride & a Groom with the brain equivalent to the size of a Peanut hull!

Invitation/Ingredients: You Are Cordially invited to the EPICly Incestuous Wedding of a Man-Whore & Luke-ASS! Extra side helping of puke in the form of: Useless Has-been, washed-up singer, annoying little ankle biter, Oxygen wasting Laguna Beach Loser, and Monkey faced Boy Meets World Reject!

Intent/ Purpose: Other than ridiculousness…?

Widespread epidemic of PeytWhore Phobia… Including:
1. Fear of puss-like watery eyes.
2. constant whine, whine, using mouth to kiss up, in on Lucas Scotts Ass, Ass hairs, Dick, of colon.
3. Becoming the picture in the dictionary next to desperate Slut-bag whorish prostitute.
4. Random flashbacks made of corn chewed by a hog with swine flu-which just so happens to have never happened- and…
5. Also fear of Sharp objects being stabbed into your back!

Post Script: Like the movie, The Ring, The Wedding from Hell was created to suck every form of energy, self-esteem, and Life out of anyone with a pulse. Also to feed ugly, big nosed, urine shampooed haired Head writer’s slightly homo-erotic obsession with blonde bean poles wearing peroxide wigs from his pubic region!

Summary: WHAT THE HOLY MOTHER FUCKING SHIT! Whoever said you can’t turn a Backstabbing, Stank-ass, Praying Mantis Slut into a Human House wife never met PeytWho- OH, WAIT!

Actually, they were right, but you can turn that gogglely eyed Ho’ into a crybaby, annoying, Selfish EMO-bitch with enough salty liquid tears in her eyes to Flood the entire Western Hemisphere!?

Finally the Vapid Wonder-Whore & Squinty McDumbAsABoxofRocks combined into the biggest Running Joke of EPIC Proportions in television History! Yes, Oh Yes Mark the Perverted, Masturbatory through Anoxic Silver Bikini, Nitwit of Television Suckery has once again to service us (Sane Humans aka BLers) with a Seven ‘UP Yours’ using the scum of his shoe…aka PUCAS!

Seriously, this episode was the Attracting Act of a side Show, Weirdo Circus full of psycho monkeys on a rampage! For instance… A wedding is supposed to be a blessed event between a man and woman in HOLY matrimony… This shit, Ha-ha-ha! I’m so stoked I’m a BLer and not a Puker!

For real: Haley becomes an ordained minister after one second, hell! So let me get this straight, they have time to set up shop outside the river with lights, arcs, and other cheesy McEmo-toe-sis Bull Shit Gagery, but these cheap mother fuckers can’t hire a priest! So damn sad!

Still waiting for a Klan Member to be Skillz’ Uncle! That’s how dumb and ridiculous that was! I mean, who gives a flying fuck that everyone talked through the entire *cough*funeral *cough* I meant Wedding. Or that no one took this farce of a ceremony seriously. Hell, Skillz cussed the shit out of Jaime and was practically banging that annoying SluTEACHER! LOL!

Jaime, was on a dog leash, funny but a little inhumane. But the Genius, Oh genius, my genius was so annoying- but anything was better than the PeytWhore and Wolf-man Show! Ha-ha, though I must admit, they were down played and we got to see more Naley (HOTT DIRTY SEX, HELLS YEAH!) but that was so stupid!

I really don’t want to think of my minister as banging a basketball bum still stuck in high school dream world where you help the underprivileged black kid! Listen Nate, its not 1943 and African Americans are capable, smart, gorgeous people who don’t need fools like you to pimp them to the NBA!

That’s why his pale, sickly lookin’ ass was overlooked! Damn, if he and Mark that fucking Douche bag, would see people as more than a race, he would have actually been illegible to be scouted! Damn Fool!

Haley James was gorgeous as usual… that’s ex scene- um, not as hot as I wanted, but the Toddy got a little bit of thigh, right? Ha-ha…Cue Swoon music because I just died and went to heaven! Ha-ha-ha… of course my sexy Haley had nothing on my beautiful Brooklyn!

Damn, that Sexy Siren had me melting in the strapless, shot blackish green number! Baby was smokin’ I almost caught on fire! Even if Nick LaCHUCK in my Lunch was kissing her! Ugh, I know Julian brought that Movie Brooke to make Brooke jealous, but for real even LucASS was appalled! And for the king of Douche Baggery to be appalled, we know Julian has lost his damn mind!

So when Nick got his mack on with B, I wasn’t hatin… well, I was, but only because I want to be him at that point! I am actually rooting for Julian… the BJu after wedding dance reminded me of the Brucas Dance, which was way better, but after all the cracks on senor LaGay, I was stoked to welcome Julian back!

I wish they would have showed the Nick/Julian fight instead of flashing forward, but Mark the dork needs to put Peyton in everyone’s business! As if she needs to tell Julian to fight for Brooke, and her comment to Lucas about getting julian if Lucas doesn’t dance with her- UGH, SKANK ASS SLUTTY BITCH!

Hello, first of all that’s Brooke’s man and secondly Julian wouldn’t turn down Steak for the microwavable meatloaf that is the PeytWHORE!

That guy is the new Lucas from season 1-3… Move over, Fucking Jerk-off Lucas season 4-6, Julian Lucas ssn1-3 Baker has taken over! UH, Oh! He just looks better than that homeless, Scruffy, wildebeest known as Lucas!

Ha-ha, seriously, who doesn’t bath or shave for their wedding! That guy looked like he had been picking food out of a garbage can! Anyway, I would have rather been tied to a chair and forced to listen to the Nick Lachey & that light pole Mia pretending to sing while really sounding like that are shitting out pinecones, than watch that stale as wood actress who plays Peyton and the Corpse Actor Chad Michael ‘Hello Lifetime Movies with Ann Curry’ Murray whine through another scene.

Seriously, between the bile and Pucas pimping and Haley reading Lucas’ letter box at the wedding… I think I just regurgitated one of my Lungs because I can’t stand to think that Pop-eyed HOOT Owl, Gigantic Orange haired Umpa-Lumpa is still breathing my oxygen!

I, for one, know that Peyton is not going to die and them making all the promos about her is doing nothing but destroying the rest of the episodes. I hope nobody watched this crap because it sucks big time!

And if that slut-bag lives It Not only proves that Mark Schawhn is juggling his nut-sack while writing, but dude is skeeting Psycho, Hack Writer nut-juice all over the screenplay.

So let’s see what happens next week!

Much love Homies,

-Toddian

Monday, May 4, 2009

Dead Mark, You Suck!

Dear Mark, You Fucking Lunatic,

Not only does your Show Blow ASS chunks, but it’s a Dawson’s Creek rip off with SUCKASS Actors… Um, Peyton CryMeARiver aka D’Nile, which I guess Luke-ASS is stuck in, IS not, I repeat: IS NOT JENN Lindley on Dawson’s CREEK! It’s one thing to rewrite stuff from two weeks ago, but to attempt to RIP off another show in the same way… Video to baby…

Gees, I bet that stupid fucking dick was crapping on his toilet and totally getting off on Peyton’s picture when BONG… Insert idea to dickhead! Why don’t I try to garner more sympathy for Peyton!?

Um, How about You don’t, otherwise up your suicide INSURANCE, because if I see one more Long faces, bag under eyes, EMO SLUT BAG Fucking cringe like a Fucking Monkey being beat with an Ugly stick- OH,. I’m going to jump out of a fucking building!

Wah, Wah… Cry, Cry! And That Squinty Eyed Bastard, Lucas Looks like was taking dump While Trying to force out strain tears! Fuck It! Either dude has Severe Hemorrhoids or Needs to stop taking acting lessons from a Cracker Jack Box!

For real, Now Corpse Boy & Jaime are hanging out and talking about Peyton’s Misery Box*cough* Memories Box! Am I the only person who thinks it’s a shame that Jaime has to pimp Pucas out… sorry Mark Pubic RaSHwahn, but it only makes them seem more boring! Like Who the Fuck cares what Jamie thinks… He’s a five year old Prick who yammers on and on about Bullshit!

AND NO JAMIE, LUCAS IS NOT UNCLE KEITH, MORE LIKE UNCLE BUM/ Unemployed and patiently waiting for that Venereal Disease that is The Orange Haired Whore to DIE!!! And His whole life is in that BOX… So Season 1-3 never happened, and that ASS Face wasn’t alive!

Actually, he wasn’t alive because THIS DOUCHE BAG, HAMBURGER INHALING, FAT FACED LUCAS is not BL’s LUCAS! Just a Lame ass PUSSY!

But Never Mind Corpse Boy, How about Brooke did a complete 180 from wanting Sam to meet her mother to turning into full on Stalker MOM! Well, I have nothing to say about this BULLSHIT! My SEXY BROOKLYN can never find happiness! No sir, because Nobody can be happy if SEYTON, the EMO DEMON OF DESPAIR & MISERY isn’t happy!

Always cry this and cry that… HOLY SHIT, Brooke’s too Gorgeous to cry, Leave that to Bear faced Peyton who growls out whines every fucking Day!

Any who, BROOKE & Victoria’s confrontation about Sam was heart breaking! You can tell Brooke Loves Sam and Victoria, just as it is Obvious that Victoria Love Brooke and Sam! That’s the family drama people want to see! It’s not all tears and shit, It’s Drama too the Purest form! Brooke has so much conviction and Victoria is self-righteous but still loves Brooke!

Then Sam Leaves… I felt bad for Brooke, but I hate Sam! No Teen would decide to go back ONE DAY! That’s stupid and it had no build up! Just run off and BAM, “I wanna go live with My Other Mom!”

Shut the fuck up and DIE!

OBVIOUSLY, Mark Schwahn… the man Who Couldn’t write His way out of ROOM if There were no walls, has nothing to do with this Storyline! Otherwise, Sam’s Mom would really be Psycho Derek’s Mom & Sam would be Psycho Derek with Plastic Surgery! Yes, we all know that would happen!

Damn, the only person I look forward to seeing is Brooke/Victoria/ Sam- SOME TIMES THE NALEY’s! BUT DAMN IT, this BULLSHIT… In Caveman voice: ME NOT WANT SEASON SEVEN… Me WANT PEYTWHORE DEAD!!!!! GRRRRRR! Damn it Mark, I give you too much credit! Because you BROUGH BACK CURIOUS FUCKING GEORGE!

Yeah, MOUTH is back as commentator for Nathan’s horrible B-Ball story that Never, Ever Ends! I’m like Damn, Just Have sex with the BALL already and get it over with! Nathan is trying to help everyone else and is clearly fucking himself up… And people through Nice Brooke was Boring, Saint Nathan makes me want to Inhale Carbon monoxide and DIE!

WE GOT NO NALEY! I DON’T REMEMBER HALEY!

Skillz can die for all I care!

Next week is the dreaded WEDDING of WHORE & Lame DUMBASS, But at least a BRUCAS SCENE… sort of! Of course, Julian is coming back! I love the 98 Degrees hasbeen COMMENT! Maybe I like Whiney Julian after all!

HOT NALEY SEX… Maybe I’ll watch!


So, to conclude this Letter…

Dead MARK, YOU SUCK!

Monday, April 27, 2009

Wake Me Up When BoreWHINE Whore and Wolf-Man Leave?

P. SaWHORE + Wig = Transvestte!? Yeah! And please do something about those roots Bitch…DAYUM!

I'm a dude and even I know that looks bad, or so Tandie told me and I agree 'cause My baby knows fashion!

Wolf-Man + Car= Waste of Sperm & Car? Um, Yeah!

Well, I will admit that I blacked out most of this show but when I was awake I kept seeing flashbacks of PUCAS! UH! WAH WAH! Can these two please just die off!? Gees, It’s like watching Paula Abdul Suck Simon Cowell’s Man tits! Yes, sickeningly weird, gag worthy, and slightly worth attempting suicide!

Uhm, Number one… PUCAS NEVER HAD ANY BACKSEAT ACTION, THAT WAS BRUCAS! So, it’s sad that they must steal everything BL to make themselves look EPIC! Nope, sorry, If stealing all things BRUCAS makes them EPIC, Than Doesn’t that only Mean that BL are the Epic Couple.

*Waiting for Crazy Pukers to come out and do Internet battle, LOL! Oooh, I’m scared now! Please don’t beat me up with you lectures and schizophrenic dribble! Ha-ha, I’m so scared of your disappointment and that you might send me a virus! LOL!

Stupid Douches!

Anyway, so every PUCAS flashback I’m thinking, um, why are these Thirty year olds in front of a green screen pretending to be the wrong couple at 19!? Seriously, if these two were planed from the beginning, could not Mark the Crazy Loon Writer have just filmed season in season four or five! Gees, this man is either dumber than a mentally challenged person or…

HE IS EATING SHIT ON RYE AND REGURGITATING THIS BULLSHIT ON A SCRIPT!
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Enough of Tranny Manny & the Werewolf, Lets go to Peon and Chastity Belt Chase- Um, who gives a fucking, flipping, ass licking, SHIT if Brooke took Virgin Boy's virginity! Um, perhaps if he wasn’t dating a crazy, time wasting, chicken looking kid, he wouldn’t have to worry about her acting NUTS!

Brooke don’t want that Lame ass, slightly pudgy loser who is still working at Tric even though he has no reason to! And Kissing that STD transporting PeytWHORE only made him more LAME! What a Lame, for real! But of course, it has to start off being about the STD Transporter and How she kissed Chase twice! What is it with her and any guy who might be interested in Brooke!

Damn, Somebody Put that Wildebeest, Anorexic Shrew out of her Misery so she can stop ruining lives with all this unnecessary drama! No one would have cared if she hadn’t ran her big mouth, she’s like the Wicked Witch of Evil Spreading, Syphilis Type Viral Infections of the Heart! Grrr!

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Nathan, apparently, shall never have a real storyline other than ball juggling! Mark, slightly homophobic perhaps? I know not, but Nathan and those balls are damn annoying! Just like him having to help every BLAZCK basketball player! This is blatant Racism and It’s annoying too!

Almost as annoying as SKILLZ and Jamie! Never thought I would say this, but Damn it … SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GO AWAY!

Jamie’s’ girl problems? How old is he, Twelve and Naley have no storyline at all! Why was Nick Lachey on the show again, oh yeah, because Mark doesn’t have enough guest stars! BLAH! This show should just die off into oblivion!

The only thing I enjoyed was My Fair Brooklyn, Sam, and Victoria! I hope Brooke forgives Victoria and they can have that Dan/Nathan relationship before the mass murder, etc. LOL! Sam and Victoria are great together and they are Brooke’s crazy dysfunctional family! In fact, Brooke is the only interesting thing about this show!

I hope that Sam’s mother doesn’t try to take Sam, but I don’t see the problem! Um, Sam is old enough to decide where she wants to stay, duh! Stupid Writers!

Pucas wasted so much screen time! Just leave already, I hope Lucas fixes the COMET, they drive off with Spawn and the car Blows up because he forgot to put on a gasket or something! Please, that Corpse actor and CMM yeah, cause that chick couldn’t act if she were named Actress! LOL!

So, I don’t have much to say because this shit is boring! NO SEASON SEVEN IF PUCAS STAY! Here! Here!

Later Homies,

-Toddian

Monday, April 20, 2009

Where’s Waldo? Baley? Pucas’ Chemistry & My Braff Bucket? Brooke (not the Robot)?

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Theme: Seyton & Anti-Christ Car Crash Survival Tips #: 1,900, 456, 876, 362...


Damn Mark and his Bullshit!

What, No theme Song- Oh Wait…

THE BITCH IS BACK! Hell, YEAH! A DIVA IS THE FEMALE Version of a hustler...of a hustler.. Of a, of a, Hustler!

Victoria Returns For Brooke, I love B. Davis when its concerning Fashion & Anything other that Whiney Julian! Sorry, but after seeing that cry baby try to force Brooke to leave, I wish he & Whine & Cheese Factor Owner PeytWhore would have stayed together!

I really don’t like Sam, Jack, her Existence! I love that Victoria tells it straight, too! Brooke runs a homeless shelter- LOL! Ha-ha-ha! I want B to have her company back, too!

Victoria may be a BITCH, but she touched my heart! But there was TOO much Nasty Breyton & not Enough BALEY! Hell, nobody wants to see that User Skanky blonde bitch and Nag!

Damn it, Sam, Jack, and Pia, Mia, Needs to Die, See Ya! She needs to go far, far away, bot in real life, but today!

The only thing Worst is Milli-dril & Mouth-yenol! That’s right, these two are the cure to Insomnia! Wrapped in a little bit go Pucas Cheesiness to make you want to gag!

Gag! Gag, I tell you! Think I PUKED a little bit when Millie walked out in That buff little Monkey’s Shirt! Ugh, I just stabbed myself in the eye!

Like, MILLIE is too HOT for that LOSER! She’s so pretty! :-)

But then, we wouldn’t get watch Lucas- Couldn’t shoot a ball if it he carried a pistol- and Skillz. The most boring Criminal since OJ…um, OJ is innocent!? Now, let me say something… I’m not racist, but Do black girls not exist in Tree Hill! For once, I’d love Skillz with a Hot Black Girlfriend!

Speaking of Politically Incorrect, Why does every black person on this show have to be the cocky basketball player who doesn’t want to listen!

Are you Fucking with me! For real!

Nathan is stuck looking like pale, ghost with some illness who is getting too old for the NBA! Haley? I don’t remember her, just Jaime and his useless teach! Maybe Haley should wear Jamie on her back to get some Screen time!

Finally we know why Jaime is so smart, because he’s gifted! At the Gifted School for Jamie, Nathan was hilarious, calling the kid’s MatHOLES! LOL! That’s my boy, but they should have had Haley say something too! Maybe like, Yeah those MathKISSERS! But alas, she does not speak!

But when I did see her: HOT DAMN, Haley looked SEXY in Green! That dress was like Fire! I want me some Haley James… LOL! This Woman is SEX on Legs, Like My Fair Brooklyn!

Something about Nate and Haley arguing about Jaime’s school just gets me going, even if it was funny! They are so Cute, and Nate and Haley drinking whine together in front of the fire, so romantic! My heart raced and I almost swooned (AGH, no hell I did! LOL, ha-ha, but It was sweet!)

Except for the small BL scene concerning Peyton! And Holy Shit, what was the point of the wreck if that soulless Bitch wasn’t going to die! Oh Yes, due to Mark Schwahn’s Fountain of Youth a.k.a Bottles of Piss in Sunkist, More Hot Air came from that fish breath, stank ass of his!

I mean, Whatever happened to looking both ways before you pull out into the street or did that Car come out of nowhere? Wait, Was The Crack Head Dog who ate Dan’s heart Driving…?

LOL, Oh that would have been classic, then we could say, “That’s a good bitch” and not actually mean Peyton this time, no? Ha-ha-ha!

So, I know we all were thinking: What would OTH be without It’s annual Car Crash where the *cough*FOOL*cough* I mean Victim in Question (Insert Eye Roll) miraculously survives!? But seriously, that Whore & Spawn didn’t even Die!? :-/

Pointless Shenanigans from that Prick & the OTH writers! Seriously, How many possible Deaths can one She-Demon face and Not one of those BLESSINGS Take out That Bitch!?
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Jimmy Edwards… AKA, BRUCAS Sniper, Tried to do us all a favor and Pop on of those lollipops in her eyes, but failed Miserably.

Psycho Derek… AKA BRUCAS Ride or Die Solider/Spy, Just couldn’t Kill that Bitch no matter how he tried! Unfortunately, Doubt Agent Brooke-bot, Season 4 addition, turned on us!

Spawn… AKA BRUCAS Atomic Bomb/Anti-Christ… just waiting to implode with: Kill the Bitch! Kill the Bitch! Tattooed to it’s head instead of 666!

Now…Cosmic Brucas BREAD TRUCK!

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What the Fuck, She’s Like a Fucking Herpes Flare that keeps popping up on Mark Schwahn’s ass and he won’t stop Shitting on the Script.

Damn STD Transporter! If I have to See that Stupid Trashy Douche bag of a woman wail with those fucking Hoot Owl pop-eyes one more time… For real, that chick’s eyes are like two ass cheeks jiggle!
Gag, Gag, gagiddy, gag, gag!

Like, where did she get acting lessons? Out of a Cracker Jack’s Box along with That Orange Hair Dye! Seriously, Does she spray tan her hair, or is Mark Schwahn Skeeting Sunkist, which no doubt has taken over his sperm and brain, into her shampoo as he jerks off in her house.

But That aside!

Sam was out of line and Mark Schwahn’s an IDIOT! Just because Jack is moving with new hip Foster parents doesn’t mean she has to be a shrew! Jack and she are perfect together, and I’m glad she called him her boyfriend, but she still annoyed me!

Brooke doesn’t have to run off at Julian’s beck and call just as Sam has no right to talk to Brooke that way! How is it Stupid to think about things instead of being a desperate slut I.e. PeytWHORE and losing all self-respect!

What sort of show teaches girls to do that when she can’t even tell him she loves him…and its Only been a month! UGH! I have a shovel, and if B wants to kill that witch, we can!

But again, thank the LORD for Victoria, setting that GOSH awful bitch ass brat straight! Telling her she hit the jackpot with Brooke was so true! Sam and Victoria are actually a cute family for Brooke… I LOVE IT!

Brooke Getting 51 percent of her company from Victoria- CONTROLING SHARES- if you don’t know about stoke markets and stuff like that! That made up for lack Of BL for me! I’m so bored with Lucas and his, I want to build a comet for Peyton since she got hit! Blah, like watching paint dry while pulling out your teeth!


Any who…

I LOVE BROOKLYN, Haley, Nathan, Jaime, & Victoria! If we would have had Dan,. This show would have rocked!

So, what’s your Opinion? Yeah, I want to Know!

Monday, April 6, 2009

another long ass hiatus! Be back on the next new episode!

Monday, March 30, 2009

WOW… A Brooke PROMO but Hardly No Brooke!

Can someone tell me why every Brooke Promo turns into a lot of Pucas flashbacks/ Peyton Whinage!?

Seriously, the only reason I knew those were nightmares the LucASS was having, was because that Pool stick with Rodney Dangerfield eyes groaning out of her Adam’s apple! Shit, if A talking insect was in my dreams groaning like it was on the verge of orgasm I’d wake up in a cold sweat too!

Seriously HORRIBLE! Doesn’t Mark ScwhASS manage to realize that if nobody cared enough to watch when the Episode when the Promo was all about Pucas, people definitely WILL NOT watch if it’s about Pucas! Give me a Fucking Break you ass turd! Only fools like this suck-ass couple.

And If we don’t have Pucas, we Have The PeytWHORE in a gag worthy BREYTON scene! Seriously, Breyton is Like Herpes! Victims don’t want to have it, but learn to tolerate it! Hell, I’ve seen those Herpes Commercials, and those people look so happy, but you know that shit is burning their asses up! LOL! Ha-ha!

For Real… I’m so done with PeytWhore interfering with every relationship! Always thinking that she has to confront Julian and cry and whine, and NOT ADMIT THAT SHE IS THE REASON BROOKE CAN’T LET JULIAN IN!!!! And all her Jake references- Not Funny!

First I thought I would be STOKED if Bryan Returned, but why would he come back to this dying shit! Especially to be stuck with a one dimensional actress aka PeytWhore! All they would do is force guys with that woman, then butcher the characters! So BG, Don’t come back! Save your career, because next thing you know they would have you cutting out hearts to feed Dogs!

So Embarrassing by the way!

Thank GOD for Chase, the only person who talks some sense! I don’t know why, but that should have been a BL scene, but its hard for Mark the Dork to write when his pencil is shoved up is fucking pee hole! That’s the only way he could write something so vile and atrocious!

Then we get Sickly looking Nate (Love the guy, but seriously some sun would help him!) and Corpse actor CMM with Jamie attempting to play basketball! Not only that, but Jamie goes to Keith’s body shop, who gives a fuck! Damn it! Jamie wouldn’t have been close to Keith if he lived, because Nate wasn’t even close to Keith!

But I guess Nathan is a robot with no heart, cause he doesn’t care about his father who loved/loves him! Lucas is just a Douche bag with no common sense, so I blame that on his lack of brain cells! Jamie (Cutie pie) the only reason I watch besides Brooke!

Shut the Fuck up already! If they are so IN Love with KEITH, Why the Fuck didn’t Lucas stay in the school and Jump in front of that fucking Bullet! It would have spared me the heartache of watching Lucas dry hump a broom stick or should I say a Chick that looks like a chewed up piece of Bubble Gum!

And Keith never teased Lucas about Peyton! LIE, LIE, LIE, DOUBLE LIE! Keith teased Lucas about BROOKE! Keith liked Brooke- Um, season 1, 2, & especially 3! Hell those seasons must not exist in this World of BitchASSness!

But You Know who I want to really shut the Fuck up- SKILLZ and Monkey ASS Mouth! I don’t give Two shits about their Fucked Up Road Trip! All I kept praying was for Mark to Pull another Random Act of Stupidity and Have lightening strike in Mid Day and Blow Up that Damn Car!

Then Dan could Get Skillz heart (Yes, I’m willing to kill of Skillz!)

How Many Times can Mouth Complain out being left by Millie because of GiGi when he is the Oxygen stealing Slut who needs to be bound, gagged, tied up in a fucking trash bag and thrown ion the river with Weights around his legs! Damn it! I’d Give Mark all my Money if he would take his mouth Off Marvin McFuckingSnore’s crouch and sent that little Lucas McManslut junior Packing!

BTW Skillz, The One is BEVIN! Not Deb, with her Boobage that needs to be covered in the face of kids! Gees, have some class and respect!

But DaMn You SKILLZ! Forcing us to endure More Mouth-a-Cent! Are You Shitting Me! I’ll be damned if I didn’t tie a belt around my throat and try to choke myself! I am so pissed off! Pucas being together has already pushed me to the breaking point, but WOW! If Mouth and Millicent are on this show, OTH met TIVO! Fucking Douche-bags!

So, I thought- Ooo, Haley has a Storyline! But No, its debauchery with Children in school/Haley’s House! Three Psycho attacks in Tree Hill is just Not enough for Haley to lock her door!? Yeah, the Principal just walked in out of nowhere! Either that or I’m watching Poltergeist!

But We Got a Baley Scene! To bad it was about Sam and not about The perfection that is y two Loves: Haley & My Fair Brooklyn. Speaking of Sam and jack, as cute as they are- GET THE FUCK OFF MY SCREEN Thief Boy and Punky Brewster! So they lead a riot (Donna Martin Graduate!) LOL! So original- but it wasn’t even a riot, just plain ridiculousness!

Man, this 90210/ Saw/ Freddie vs. Jason rip off sucks Master kisses of ass! Loads, Piles, Masses! I mean this show Blows, and I am starting to wonder why I watch!

Why Todd? Why Bler’s? Why do we watch?

Certainly not to see Sam and Jack kiss/make out, Or Pucas cry-whine through an episode! Mouth and Skillz reach a new lone of how to cure insomnia with what I like to call “Pointless existences”!

I don’t watch for Naley to never even touch! PS, why Does Mouth and Millie get relationship shit, but Naley get Squat! What the Fucking HELL!? And Why would Millie take that ass face back! UGH! The only women on this show with self-respect are Brooke and Haley!

Oh, for BRULIAN! Ding! DING! But A MONTH! JUST A MONTH!

Seriously, I heard that and saw the Scene and I was like:

Golly Gee, Mark SCHWishyoucouldwriteoutofmorethanyourAssHN You are the Don of originality! In fact, if Lucas is OTH’s nucleus, than this Show is in the Stage of Mitosis… That’s right: Julian Baker is the Exact Replica of Lucas Scott! MUHahahaha!

*Wipe’s tears from intense evil laughter away*

So, if Anyone felt déjà vu at that point, you were right- DUN, DUN, DUN… This is the storyline from Season 6 episode 1! Yep, Yep, Add Carbon Copy Thievery from One’s Self to the list of ass-y Ridiculousness of The Mentally impaired SCHWAHN. This Show has reached a new Height of Self Plagiarism!

Oh Com’on 1st :Not that guy, The guy For you

*First Bullshit alert, literally just took that one and ran like a Chicken in Kitchen at KFC*

2nd: Long speeches that really just ramble off of words Lucas wrote in a book

* I blame this BS on Mark writing while literally trying to Jedi Mind PERV the nasty bikini of that Lollipop with Owl Eyes during that OTH cast photo-shoot!*

You know the one… the where somebody cut James Lafferty’s face off of drunken mug shot and photo shopped it onto his body. Yeah, that one. HAHAHAHA!

3rdly: Now the Airport Turn,

*I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY* if at the end of season seven or six, if Julian doesn’t rip off his own head to reveal the Younger version of Lucas Scott (Season 1-3, Pre-Douche bag with a side of blonde, Curly fried- free yet poisonous but still desperate pun- tang a la PeytWhore) I’m going to slap a HO’! LOL! Haha!

Seriously, if A Dog can eat a heart, a whore can be turned into a house wife and impregnate through bad acting and weird pain, can not Julian reveal himself as Lucas! Then Mark can tell everyone we have really been watching

Now, if we cut of an inch of whomever’s Booty is sitting on Julian’s Forehead, and throw some limo juice in his eyes so he squints like the GUY from saw cut off half his fucking eyelids and sews the reminder to those robot stare, lost in translation of when to act and when to spazz, we will have Lucas the Dufus, 2.0 minus the asshole of course.

Anyway, I screamed Brooke, “Don’t GO! To, THE AIRPORT!”

But when she went, I cried like a fucking bitch! Brooke and Julian broke my heart, but she was responsible and right! Damn, that was the hardest episode I ever watched, other than BL breakup in season 4! But I love that Brooke’s not a need, desperate whore Like Peyton!

But the end with Peyton making shit for the baby when she dies, had no effect on me!

All I thought was die Bitch, Please Die!

And the Promo! Do they not realize that if they show Peyton getting hit by a truck then go to the wedding scene with blood on the dress, that means She Survives the Car ACCIDENT!

Crazy Mark, you are A FUCKING IDIOT!

What do you guys think?

Much Love Homies and Haters,

-Toddian

Monday, March 23, 2009

So Random it was Almost Perfect

First Things First, One of Two Scenarios…

One: CMM & company are pulling a Hoax which is no longer funny and quite annoying! (At this point, if Peyton doesn’t leave or die, I will boycott this show!)

Two: CMM Fucked with the wrong NETWORK, you did!?

So, If you don’t know, CMM pulled * Insert the initials of the Actress who Plays PeytWHORE* and made a Pity plea for fans to fight for his character. Oh CMM, I might not like you but I DO want you to stay. Sure, YOU PROBABLY just want more money and Turned Fans against you by quitting but hell, if they kick off those random guest stars, they could pay you extra! LOL!

Of course the video was staged, but I DON’T Give a FUCK, let the dude come back if he wants to. I won’t lose any sleep EITHER WAY, but IF HE WANTS TO COME BACK! And I DO mean ONLY IF HE WANTS TO COME BACK…

LET HIM!

Instead of HOLDING onto your PRIDE, CW! See, we all know the network called his bluff about leaving (with all the complaining he has done about wanting to leave, etc. not that I blame him since after season three the show blows, but still he should never bite the hands that feeds him). But he did and they did, and he isn’t getting the Paper, duckets, bling-bling, ching-ching, dinero, cake, molah… on and on, Ha-ha-ha-ha!

Just Pay the man the damn MONEY he’s blackmailing out of you, and LET HIM COME BACK! I’m not a CMM fan, in fact I loathe him, BUT SERIOUSLY… the dude is/WAS a huge part of the show at some point (when the show was about Lucas and not about his Obsession with that blonde Bug-eyed Lady.

Season 1-3, before ridiculous Psychos came to stalk Peyton because MS had to make the chick seem slightly appealing by having guys like her! Oddly enough, that all started season 4 and the stories stopped being about Lucas. Even the Dan Killed Keith storyline was cut short so PeytWHORE could waste more screen time by being NOT-So-secretly in love, stalked, watching leaves fall to know if they were meant to be. Just a waste of the season which ratings proved.

She’s the ROOT of all evil, I tell you. Perhaps Our Comatose LukeASS wouldn’t have been playing the role of a corpse had CMM not had to act with that sack of bones, life sucking Peyton, the Skinny Vampiress! The best of actors couldn’t pretend to be remotely interested to that unattractive beanpole (Yes, I’m totally bashing, but I’m a comedic basher- Hahahaha)

I don’t like Peyton, so send her on her merry way! kick Rocks, Whore- LOL- Pukers, Don’t go ballistic! To reiterate, this is a blog to express Anger & Love hence the name: RANT & RAVE! You can ramble, cuss, and just be angry in general because of the 1st amendment, and because OTH isn’t REAL.

But on to the CMM discussion: GIVE THE GUY THE DAMN MONEY & FIRE PEYTON, MOUTH, GIGI, MILLI, CHASE, MIA & any other nuisance aka guest stars… Except Julian, cause he’s a cool cat!

Then let it be-

Damn, this is getting boring and annoying. When the personal lives starts affecting the actually show, that’s when I draw the line. CW, MARK SCHWAHN, CMM get your mother fucking acts together so that I can continue bashing PeytWhore and Company in my usual angry way instead of talking about you! Fucking Pussies!

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NOW TO THE ACTUAL EPISODE!

MARK SCHWAHN IS OFFICALLY an IDIOT!

Props to Sophia Bush, B. Joy, little Jackson, Austin and CMM for actually being slightly INTERESTING! Oh, I said CMM, cause he was kind of Hilarious this episode- notice the blonde, mantis Leech wasn’t attached to him either!

Sophia Bush rocked as always between hiding her heart break with anger and crying when Julian left! She can’t say she loves him, but she doesn’;t want him to go1 The confliction of feelings was brilliantly expressed and we could tell that Brooke wanted to say it, but couldn’t!
Just beautiful!

Haley had a STORYLINE- is this the Twilight Zone? *Dun, dun, dun, dun!*

I’m glad she stood up for herself and didn’t write an apology to the English class because That Bitchcipal (Bitch/Principal) wants her to apologize! Screw that Haley James is the bomb diggity! She stood up in that classroom and called the Principal out! And I love Nathan’s support of his wife!

I love crazy, angry, hot Haley! Oh My GOD, she was fantastic! I laughed, and if Mark would put her and Brooke together as friends some time, we might get the old OTH back! Damn, she is the greatest, especially with Nathan MIA! I still wanted Naley lovin’ but hell, seeing Luke and Nate play Ball together brought back season 1-3 for me! Man, I miss that sport, the rivalry between brothers!

Dixon was Hilarious! He was all Geeked out about getting paid while Luke and julian were down and blue! LOL, that guy is real cool, and a reminder of the old Keller! We need him back! Imagine if they met! Holy cow, I’d shit my pants!

Dan/Deb/Jamie- Those three are owning my heart right now. Between Dan taking the blame and saying Goodbye. Aw, Paul is the best actor ever! Love that dude! And Deb, she is to blame- screw that, she played a part and tried to kill Dan! Is it forgotten that she almost burnt him alive not to mention breaking Skillz heart! She better want to hook up with Dan, cause that’s the only way I can accept that!

Maybe she doesn’t want kids, but she can’t decide that for Skillz! that poor guy, I love Skillz, man!

As for Jamie! Hell yeah, this baby is the best!

Now, this is why the Mark is an Idiot-

Dan’s Heart falls on the floor?! Dan may have killed keith, but he is a much better person than LucASS!

How the fuck… I mean Holy Shittt- I mean, Who The Hell… Wham, BOW, BOOM, Boom- I’m speechless at the absurdity of this Writing!
What is the matter with that man! So, lets see!? A dog is in the hospital, which is unsanitary and unrealistic! Is this man writing out of his Colon, because this story Line is Bullshit on Horse rye! The CW just wants to lose any person getting a medical degree or with Common sense!

And paramedics are like, “Oopsey Daisy, a human heart that can save a life just got ate by a dog, but whatever?”

That asshole Writer should be taken outside and beaten with a un-stupid transformation STICK! I swear he is either mentally challenged or living in a Fucking asylum.

I knew all that Jerking Off and getting Cock-Sclerosis from said jerking off, was taking all the oxygen from his Pea Sized Brain!

Lets ignore that fact that the container carrying the heart would have been tightly sealed, because that doesn’t fit into the craziness of The SchWAHN Nut House!

It’s time to fire the HEAD WRITER and Cancel this Bullshit!

Like, is he taking notes from Dr. Seuss stories and seeing how far he can go with make-believe!

What, is the Grinch going to come back as a Giant shoot of grass/fate Leaf and tell PUCAS they are meant to be. Maybe Barney can be Brooke’s next Random, and psycho Cabbage Patch Kid can want to sleep with Nathan, and Haley can fight her over Nathan!

Oh Goodie! And while I gouge my eyes out, Let’s Have Peyton pop Eyes McGee whine to her mother’s grave repetitively, when truthfully I could have cared less! Then we have Dan’s Spawn, proving that Douche Bags, FAILURES are often unemployed LOSERS! First that boring Movie gets Shut Down, Then his Selfish WIFE To Be, Vampiress the Devil Seyton doesn’t care! Selfish as usual, she’s like *Well at least you don’t have to worry about the Uncle Keith Part!*

Wow Luke, she really cares (interject sarcasm)! Then its off the Mia and such!

Sam & Her Thief Boy Toy have got to go! Slowly, I’ve been trying to like the kid, but this is just ridiculous. Am I supposed to feel bad because she aided and abetted a kid in running away after shoplifting! Then being an idiot and taking the Goods and taking the fall for Jack!

What the Fuck ever- You still were wrong, and Brooke should have kicked your ASS you pimply faced kid. I should feel bad because she is talking Julian into realizing he and Brooke Love each other, Matter, all that Jazz, yada, yada, yada, blah blah! Sorry, I hate that kid!

All she does is give Brooke grief! I just don’t like those two Brats! Let’s eliminate them, please!

Of course, Brulian break up every episode, not that we saw any of them with all the Sam/Jack love and story! Okay, I won’t lie, their last scene touched my heart, but I’m a sap! Jamie made me cry with the Sims and Keith still loving Dan in that world!

Beautiful Jamie, I’m a little bitch for sure!
WHAT DID YOU THINK OF THIS EPISODE?
Let me know!

Much Love Homie,
Toddian