OH ... Your opinion is Mucho Respected... :D

LOL... First of all... love you all dearly... even the coward who couldn't even leave their name. You make this blog possible. LOL... LOSER! hahaha!

Anyway, i need to address this before chris posts the review for the new episode:

I respect all your opinions.

Jennifer... You are allowed to have your own opinion. This might be the one and only time we ever disagree. I have no fucking idea why this blog sent you to spam but I corrected that. I will always respect - your opinion because you are bright and intelligent, Anyone who disagrees about how wonderful you are has to deal with ME. Grrrm lol!

That being said, i was brutal because honestly i am over the fandom. I only watch for this chick and she is seriously creating more ammo for crazy PUKERS to use in their psychotic arguements. I get that she dislikes BL, but well... sometimes an actress needs to know when to hold them, and know when to fold them... meaning her lips, "Hence the Sophia Bush: JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP!" LOL!

Anyway... No bats and guns... unless we are SEYTON HATIN!


Michelle - LAUGHING MY FUCKING ASS OFF! I can't even discribe how hilarious this is. Your comment made me chuckle so hard! Seriously, i don't understand why she has so much control. Its really ashame that she cant just do her job and STFU!

Disgruntled Fan - Ditto My Kid, Ditto in deed!

Jess- You know I don't mind speaking my peace anymore than SB apparently does. So you are very welcome. See Ya in BANLAND!

Kasey- need I say more, Kitten. We'll chat later :P


Last but never least.......... Chris, you know how I feel. Love ya, Babe!



Much love Homies,
-Toddian

Sophia Bush: JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP

Sophia - Beautiful, Talented, seemingly Intelligent Sophia - I don’t know if you are bored or just losing all your brain cells playing the now doormat, dumb as a rock Brooke Davis… but don’t you know WHEN to keep your mouth shut. True enough there is Freedom of speech and all that jazz but this is also your job and damn girl - Learn the meaning of Tact!

Gees, You’d think she would realize that majority of her fans WERE BLERs?

Does she think John Tucker Must Die earned her fans… LAUGHING MY FUCKIN ASS OFF, FOOL!

Now honestly, I have not wanted to comment of Sophia’s tweets because I used to adore the chick but the majority of you guys are either commenting about it or going off on other fan pages. And to be honest, I don’t blame anyone for it… If she can have an opinion so can everyone else.

I called chad Michael Murray out on his cheating all the time last year, not to mention his horrible acting… Seriously dude, who the hell ate your soul and shitted it out in the toilet?

Sophia Bush? LOL, yeah, right answer.

I get why people are upset. Don’t bash an entire fan base. Do all these other things:

1. The Whole Team Leyton on a BL t-shirt, I was willing to overlook cause I just don’t care enough about her personal life to give a shit. Ha-ha, when and if she ever hit Jennifer Aniston or Angelina Jolie status - then I might give two shits, but hell, she’s on a dying show and I support my girl.

2. All this co-star dating - again see number 1. I mean, Both chad and she ruined BL… Naley fans hated the Brathan shit…. Which I hate too. And Boolian, well this new Brooke (who I suspect Sophia is creating not the writers- sucks cause I bet anything that in deleted scenes Julian takes huge dumps on her chest!) SUCKS MY HAIRY SWEATY BALLS!

3. Tree Hugging- nothing wrong with that unless it just started out of the blue and seems rather shady if you did nothing for Katrina victims but you care about GULF animals…. Again see Number 1... KINDA!

BUT THIS…. This girl just needs to shut the fuck up. We get it, you hate BRUCAS, you HATE CHAD, you HATE BL fans… don’t turn around condescendingly and say you love us. I don’t care either way.

LOL, as long as you aren’t Hillarie Skank-ASS Burton… I would forgive you anything. But Damn girl… shut the FUCK UP!

Sophia Bush you think you love Brooke more than we do because you portray her… Um, no you get paid to play her. We are the Masochists who root for a once AWESOME character who has been driven down by the writers into a SEYTON SANTANICA REPLICA and thus helping to write your pay checks for Free!

We certainly don’t get anything out of watching Brooke be treated like trash - so bitch please - SHUT THE FUCK UP!

Sophia Bush, you’re beautiful but you actually think we care if you are happy with season 6 & 7... Your happiness doesn’t entertain anyone so - SHUT THE FUCK UP!

By the way SOPHIA BUSH zero IS a size, FOOL!

So SHUT THE FUCK UP!

Whenever you think of talking about BL just - SHUT THE FUCK UP!

I don’t hate you but fool, I am starting to tire of the attention seeking BL hating bullshit.
Do I think you were wrong- DUH, but its your job to promote BOOlian even though the show is down the toilet with most probably your career, but again SHUT THE FUCK UP!

Sophia Bush - Wanna buy a can of SHUT THE FUCK UP!

Sophia Bush - you claim you talk to the writers season 6 & 7… (Dog eating heart season, Brooke becoming a doormat, Pimping Nasty ass aids infect PUCAS like this is actually reality) than please, if you want to take credit for that SHUT THE FUCK UP!

Actually, if you have that kind of Power (which I believe you do) Please tell them to Cancel this damn show! Or SHUT THE FUCK UP!
　
SOPHIA BUSH - you inferred that you came up with the “BL was a footnote to LP” than please SHUT THE FUCK UP!

JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP and do your job… love Brooke, but tired of you…

GIRL, SHUT YOUR MOTHER FUCKING TRAP THE FUCK UP, BITCH, DAYUM!

Finally… if you don’t agree, that’s ok. I dont hate you, speak your peace. But any person knows that whether you agree with what she said or not, she needs to SHUT THE FUCK UP!

Much love Homies
-Toddian

Hiatus... Obviously Wasn't Long Enough For This Show To Get A Clue!!!

Backstabbing best friend? Check! Oh fuck, is Seyton SwaySlut ScotTramp back to gang rape our poor eyes?

Assassination of Brooke Davis' character? Check!

Douches getting away with being assholes? Check!

Boring side characters getting more attention than we even care about? Check!

Crazy stalkers? Check- checkity, check check!!!

Well, looks like another epsiode of One Tree Hill to me.

Seriously, could this show get any fucking worse? She says as the whole world explodes1

Right from the very first scene, I knew my puke bucket was in order and some seriously strong alcohol was a must! Let's start with Brooke and Julian, seeing as this pathetic excuse for a romance was the first piece of garbage thrust into my face.

FUCKING GAG ME NOW!

What was with all the "boyfriend" name-calling?

Newsflash fashionista - that pet name died out season 3 when it didn't deserve to be used anymore, and although hand-me-down names and recycled scenes are Mark's thing, this was a major fucking screw up.

Did anyone else fire bullets at their screen when Brooke fawned over Julian like she was trying to make something up to him? Breakfast in bed? Are you fucking kidding me? Telling him how great his movie was going to be and how talented he was... again? Saying sorry - AGAIN?

I'm sorry, but Sophia Bush needs to accept that damn offer to join that sitcom on ABC because the assassination of Brooke Davis is now complete... I mean, damn Mark (To hell you dickless fucker)... I know you miss crazy Seyton and all, but turning a once fiesty, independent firecracker into this Julian-serving, ass-kissing doormat is just NOT Brooke Davis, and NOT good television.

UGH.

And don't even get me started on Brooke being the one to talk Julian into helping Alex... I don't want a fucking Saint Brooke after all the crap that big-headed bastard put Brooke through. FYI - Man with the biggest forehead in television history - WHERE IS THAT DAMN APOLOGY FOR BEING A BIG DOUCHE?

Oh that's right, it's floating somewhere down De-Nile with Mark's talent! It's time he dropped Alex like the dead weight she is. Seriously, if that hooker couldn't tell she was shagging a gay dude with all the men she's slept with, then she isn't worth the one million dollars people are extorting them for.

NEXT! Moving on to Clay and Quinn - fuck me!

I'll be the first to admit, I was so excited to see Robert Buckley in the role of Clay when it was first announced... my, my, my.. what a disappointment he turned out to be! Not only was his character boring as bat shit tonight, but his look never changed the entire show - deer in the headlights, anyone? And what is he trying to achieve by being male-anorexia's poster child?

I know Quinn is sucking the life out of him with her constant whining and pity-me status... but for fuck's sake, he looks like she has literally swallowed him.. where has he gone? Hello Clay... your bones would like their meat back, pronto! He looks fucking terrible! And then I had to endure Quinn maiking everything about her tonight and throwing in some "Mom" references so she could "bond" with Haley at ehr photography stuio that Mommy bought her?

SISTERLY bonding over that lame photo too? Quinn being deep and meaningful and full of talent... pffft... didn't buy it then and never will - not even if you sell it cheap in a 99 cent store. You fucking suck Quinn and your storyline with Clay and lame attempt at sympathy grabbing when you've had everything handed to you on a silver platter, failed to score you any points either. Pack up shop and fuck off back to the rock you crawled out from. Now, the Katie thing - seriously, another stalker? Excuse me while I yawn. Derek.

Carrie. Katie.... zzzzzzzzzz. She is HOT though! LOL

Why Mark had to ruin that brilliant chemistry between Clay and Sara by turning the actress into a nut-job is beyond me. I can only hope he redeems himself by having Katie kill Quinn and make the world a happier place. I doubt that would happen though, because these days One Tree Hill isn't about entertainment, it's about....

*insert reason for this bullshit here, cos I got nothing!*

What's next on this rollercoaster of crap?

oh right... Mouth! Mouth and rollecoaster in the same sentence. Don't you mean circus? Monkey face asshole!

Well, of all the sneaky, under-handed, backstabbing things to do... he goes and chucks a Seyton and decides to snake his best friend's girl! One would think that Mouth would see the impossibility of being with Lauren now his BEST friend is back, and simply have his back and stay the fuck away.. but no, once again Marky Mark was missing Seyton so damn much that he decided to add "best friend betrayal" to tonight's episode.

Sure, they tried to make it look like that little rodent as taking the high road when it came to the situation "I'll tell him cos he's my best friend." Interesting that you forgot that when you were sticking your tongue down Lauren's throat. Speaking of blonde sluts, Lauren is ridiculous - giving up on love and Skills for Mouth?

MOUTH - the most unattractive cockroach on the show! AMEN SISTER!

Skillz came home for you, you dumb bitch - gave up his life and what do you do? Oh right, repay him by running off with his best friend! If him giving up his life to be with you isn't love, then you deserve the scum-sucking rodent that seems to have not learned a thing about cheating on your friends from the whole farce that was Pucas. And then I have to see Skills drowning his sorrows at the bar with that loser guy who no one cares about and actually blaming himself? Oh fuck me - here comes the Brooke Davis train of ridiculous logic from season 4, where apparently friend's cheating on you is your fault!

FUCK YOU MARK SCHWAHN AND YOUR INANE LOGIC!

Jamie and Nathan. Boring. Seriously, father/son bonding is not something I give a shit about. Yeah, Nathan's a good dad. Yeah, he's a good husband. Yeah, he plays more home games than any basketball player I've ever seen. This is bullshit and I don't give a shit about it. Next!Grubbs and whats-her-name. Oh no, I have to leave the country cos I'm beinng deported... ever heard of checking your VISA you moron?

Oh no, that's right, you wouldn't have that kind of logic since you're only running a record label, and hey, if Seyton can do it, it must be as easy as playing with play dough. Grubbs proposed... and I skipped forward. Bottom line - I don't give a fuck about these stupid sideline characters. They're boring and useless and not worth the money they're being paid to make a shitty show even shittier!Finally, there was a Baley moment and Brooke told Haley about not being able to have kids - after Haley takes a random prego test that meant squat to the storyline.

Touching, but it took too damn long and it makes you wonder if these girlies are even BFFs at all?

Oh that's right, there's no time for Baley because Haley is too busy trying to prop Quinn, and Brooke is too busy trying to attach her lips to Julian's ass. Baley who, right Mark? Fucker.And then Haley having a mental breakdown over her Mom. She was weird all night, trying to put on a brave face, and then she falls apart in tears beside the pool when everyone else is in bed.

Suffer in silence type? Since fucking when? This storyline has lame written all over it and I can only hope that Mark does Bethany some justice and utilize her amazing talent before they waste another perfectly good opportunity steering this show down Suck Lane!So you may be wondering if there was anything I actually liked in this waste of an hour. Well, there was one thing, but only one.

VICTORIA DAVIS getting busted. Her reaction to Skills punching Mouth and basically telling the entire population that Mouth was after his girl, was as funny as hell!

Not only was her man half her age and half naked... I don't think anyone can say the word "sandalous" quite like Queen V! Well done! And well done on actually saying what a jerk Mouth was for doing such a thing. Sneaky little rodent. He belongs in the sewer with the rest of the rats!

So... overall? Yeah, this show still sucks monkey balls, and if the populous get their way, we're heading for another season of crap. All I can say is, run Sophia run... and save yourself from the pile of steaming shite that One Tree Hill has turned into. In my mind, this show ended season 3 because it was all downhill from there and it will never be able to recover.Well, that's it for me. Just keep in mind, if we cross our fingers and wish really hard...

only 3 episodes to go!

Later peeps,

Chrissy & Toddian

They Must be a Puker

1st let me just congratulate Chrissy, Jennifer, Angela and My kitten for verbally bitch slapping the stupid out of that McCrazy Dumb-shit replier. Hahaha… Cause this shit was fucking hilarious. I thought I was the master of insults but damn it if you guys didn’t open up the severest can of whoop ass wordplay I have ever seen. Muhahahaha!

I can just see that blog stalker sitting at the computer with some lotion and a gun- not sure whether to jerk off because you fucking awesome people are talking to IT or its ready’s to blow its self away because everyone is laughing their ass off at the fool.

Seriously, how the fuck is this anonymous stalker getting their rocks off by being told how much dick they can suck at even given moment? Ha-ha! Reminds me of how in season 5 Lucas was giving Seyton the uber slut all his ass to kiss and that bitch was coughing up hairballs from all the ass-hairs she sucked from his anus. LOL, that so fucking gross yet this anonymous person keeps licking our asses.

Ha-ha, sick fucker.

Therefore, I have come to a conclusion:

They are probably a disgruntled PUKER!

Puker (from the Toddian dictionary) – Crazy Peyton Sawhorse & LukAss Scott fans.

I don’t know about you guys but I have never met one with a brain. Haha, come one, seriously MOST they are deranged and doormats- that’s the exact description of Seyton and half her fanbase.

For example, our crazy stalker whined, nagged, threw a bitch fit about this blog which apparently she doesn’t like *can you since my sarcasm and eye roll?* yet it seems this bitch stays on this blog more than any of us do. Ha-ha!

I hate to break it to ya but having a deranged obsession with this blog, me, and the wonderful repliers on this blog makes you OUR FAN! Ha-ha, that’s right fool, you are our little bitch! Go fetch me so water – ha-ha! I’m sorry, I couldn’t resist it. :D

And deranged as that anonymous person is, you gotta admit it has passion to keep coming back day after day just to talk to all of us.

Deranged Pucas Stalker Fan FTW!

Need further proof?

Pukers tend to speak in an alien language know as DUMBASS-NESS! Or its street drug name called: SunPiss from the Schwahnkist!

Ha-ha, how much is everyone willing to bet this lunatic comes back and claims to be a Naley Fan?

This is the definition of a Puk-Tender.

Quote from past Blog post - BLers Be Ware of Pukers out There :

Puk-Tenders aka The Crazy Bitches in Sheep Clothing-

They pretend to be biased and just Naley friends, but you catch them posting in the I Love the Anorexic Whore aka Peyton Lovers Thread! Yes, Yes, these are the Puk-Tenders!These guys lurk, like they are probably reading this right now and waiting to post! Yes, you! You are a Puk-Tender, pretending to like Brooke as long as she cheerleads PUCAS! UH-HUH! You go to BL Love sites and anonymously bash or act like you care then say something rude and stupid! There is another name for Puk-Tenders! These people are called COWARDS! Hiding behind Naley Love and Brooke Support!

You Disgust the shit out of me, and I’m a Jerk-Wag!

Ha-ha, yes they are idiotic douches, but I love them all tha same. They make this blog popular which is FUCKING AWESOME!

Figure I should stand on my soap box now and say:

“Anonymous coward who won’t even leave a name, bigotry is not the answer. What sort of insult is calling someone a homo? Are you going to round up some Jewish people and tease them about Hitler? Maybe call African Americans and other Blacks the N Word? Gees, gonna dangle food in front of Homeless people?

Damn, ha-ha, you are just pathetic.

I mean really, where did you get your joshing lessons: The back of a Count Chocula cereal box?

Been taking Yo Mama lessons from Barney and Baby Bop?

Shit, been trading lines with the Cat in the Mother fucking Hat?

Can I expect Blues Clues to jump out and teach me how to spell the word GAY?

Hahaha, Gees, I’m embarrassed that that was the best you could do?

You need some lessons in insults asap!

Not that it matters to me but bigotry is not okay! Just because you’re pissing your panties over this blog doesn’t mean you need to get all diseased brain psychotic on us. It makes me sad for you…LOL!”

*steps off soapbox*

So, you know it’s a Puker when…

It says, “I’m going to keep coming back after the break to laugh at you guys, etc.”
LOL, well duh dumb shit this is a hilarious blog and not only that but you don’t have to give us an excuse/ reason to stalk us.

Hello, that’s what stalkers do and I for one will not ask you to change from who you are – which if your small brain still doesn’t understand – this means you are a STALKER! Hahaha!

Do we ask the wind why it blows? No.

Ask the toilet why it flushes? No.

Ask the Schwahn why he can’t write his way out of an open door? Sometimes, but for the sake of this conversation I’m going to say no. ha-ha

So everyone lets play a game.

Let’s play the, “YOU KNOW IT’S A PUKER WHEN” GAME…

Use this phrase and write a hilarious moment when a crazy Puker lost IT’s marbles on you.

Much love Homies… LOL

-Toddian

Ps...

I know exactly who that poster is... don't let them fool you. They claim to be a Haley fan but defend Pucas like they are real people usually under different screen names. LOL, Its a chick from the CW site who wants to make sweet sweet love to the toddster but I have a "me no fucky Ugly Broads policy" so her panties are all in a twist.

If you are not her stalker, well, um... sorry to have compared you to that thing. She puts the man in Managed to scare the living shit out of all human beings on sight. Hahaha!

Oh and if you guys ever wanna just talk to me, you an find me at either:

www.dabanned.proboards.com

or

on msn as Toddian (I think I'm the only one there)... email me at toddian@live.com

Sophia Bush Say WHAT? Muhahaha!

So apparently Pucaser also know as Pukers, better known as dick sucking Mark scwhan SunPiss drinking Toolbags are all in a tizzy cause Sophia Bush said BL were puppy Love...

Okay... well thats her opinion. Good for her, further proving that BL ended because of personal matters and not because PUCAS were fated to spit Vile Incest Cum all over our television sets. Haha... big whoop! I mean, someone even said they are glad the actress sees that Bl meant nothing... cause well you know:

Her opinion will save many orphans, will change the space time continum, will make Mark Schwahn stop dreaming of dangling his hairy man sacks all over that chick who plays Peyton's huge eyed head... :O Haha, LOL...

My point is, who gives a fuck what Sophia Bush says? She's an actress, the only reason I watch this suck ass show but that doesn't mean her opinion means shit. Am I to believe that if she says that bathing in Sunkist will make you a good writer when we all have seen proof (ie Mark Schwahn) that its not true? Haha, LOL... stupid Pukers.

Then again these are the same people who though that they were SEYTON SawSLUT in real life. AKA *CRAZY FUCKING FOOLS*

So... my words of advice are that Sophia Bush is an actress and it is her job to pimp whatever will make her some money, whatever is in her best interest. And since allowing Julian the Forehead Monger will get her a paycheck and keep her away from that creepy ex-husband of hers, I'd say its just GOOD business...


Oh my god, it's PUCAS!!!

Oh no wait, it's just Mark's lack of creativity and his ever-missing gonads!

So... what could have potentially been an amazing episode turned into a fucking fizzer yet again. I am now more than convinced that these lame writers were picked from the cereal aisle of the local market because they don't know dick about drama, realism or chemistry.

What they do know about, however, is killing off the wrong characters, turning the great ones into emerging psychos, making the strongest chick turn into a fucking marshmallow and redeeming fuckstick characters in such a way that redemption was never acquired and televison sets were destroyed globally due to viewer rage.

Where to start?

Probably with the good stuff because it won't take long. Lindsey McKeon killed it. Hands down the BEST acting this show has seen in a long time and Taylor was by far my favorite. I cannot believe that they went for the retarded option of choosing Shantel or whatever the fuck that twat wants to call herself, and shove this disgustingly poor-acting bitch in our faces through the inane character of Quinn, when we could have gone through a redemption storyline with Taylor and an actress who actually knows what she is doing.

Lame Mark, real lame.You writers are fucking retarded. There is no other words for you!

R-E-T-A-R-D-E-D!!! Hmm, well I think even that word is giving Dork Schwahn and his Merry Gang of Hack Ball licking writers, too much credit.

Not that Taylor needed much redemption in my opinion - Haley never hated her this much before, but throw holier-than-though Queen McBeak into the mix and suddenly Taylor is the worst thing to ever hit the James family. Newsflash you dumb fucks, Taylor rocks and Quinn sucks manly, festering balls. Mark, get your shaft out of that bitch's mouth and realize she can't act for crap and stop this torture before it goes any further.

Now, the reasons why this show is currently spinning around in the shitter en-route to the sewage plant.Haley - I'm sorry hun, but you bored me to tears. That whole Mom/soup whatever... totally stupid. I may be a cold and heartless bitch for saying this, but I just couldn't buy into you tonight and I think the death scene for Lydia was sweet... but a bit Notebook for me when she saw her dead husband right before taking her last breath?

Come on now...

that was just shit and i kinda laughed a little.

Maybe it was just haley's scenes with Quinn that made me feel indifferent. or the Naley that was just hugging and sobbing.. whatever, I was bored. Quinn though and her self-righteous rant on Taylor was fucked up. "Collossal Selfish Bitch".

Right, Quinn calls Taylor that, yet you don't see Taylor leaving her husband and being that collossally selfish... interesting... But really, Haley was okay... I just felt that they could have had her drama last a little longer. I mean, even the Nathan scandal at the beginning of the season lasted longer than this storyline. What the fuck is with that shit? Suddenly Bethany has a chance to act and they make her cram it all into like a few episodes.

And where the fuck is the Baley love? Somewhere in the land of "DONT SUCK" which the Schwahn has been Banished from since season 3 ended.

Not even an acknowledgement at the funeral?

No hospital visits?

Nothing?

FUCK OFF MARK if you think we're going to buy into that crap.

Baley is the best friendship on the show and once again, you can't find a way to enhance that which is good about the show. You all must be shit sniffers professionally because you seem to love the smell this show is putting off!

Nathan. Serving no purpose yet again. Wait? Who the hell is Nathan? Haha, just kidding... thats the corpse that stands around like a coat hanger, correct? I was kinda touched with last week with his whole "being a great dad and husband" routine, but that lasted all of five minutes.

Put a ball in his hands and send him off to camp or whatever cos I'm tired already. And that fucking ferret son of theirs just holds zero interest for me. Get the fuck off my screen before I shoot you. NEXT!

Clay/Katie - could be interesting, but in true Mark "I Ate My Dick For Lunch And Now I Don't Know What I'm Doing" form, once there is competition for the couple he "envisions" as end game, time to annihiliate the opposing side (Brooke character assassination season 4, anyone?)

Well done jerk off, you've managed to scrape the crusty remains of that series of shit and spread a great pile of it over the Katie character. Really Mark, all those monkey writers sucking on your nads and all you can come up with is the repeated storyline of a crazy person?

Derek and Carrie not good enough for you? Face it shithead, chemistry is chemistry, and you might understand that if you ever got off your dorky butt in high school and tried to take your dick for a spin instead of whining over that punk-wannabe blonde cheerleader who clearly had no idea who you were.

That also goes for viewers being able to see that a duck-face Quinn gremlin holds no romantic spark for this Clay Evans dude, no matter how many "I Love You's" you try to throw in each episode, nor the amount of time you spend trying to get him to kiss her. And yes, I said TRYING. Chick's lips must be covered with chilli or ice cos he can't seem to attach them properly... I'm just saying. When they make out it's like two worms trying to mate. Disturbing at the highest level. Fucking yuck!

What else?

Oh, Mouth. OH MY FUCKING GOD.

In what alternate universe would Mouth... MOUTH... ever get the girls he seems to grab on this show. Dude looks like a fucking walrus on crack and yet these girls seem to find some interest in him? I call BULLSHIT! Big, stinking, ate-too-much-nachos-for-lunch BULLSHIT!

What kind of a dude snakes his BEST FRIEND's girl when he is staying in HIS house and he's away on business. Mouth, you need to be stabbed in your sleep or something because the lectures you gave to Millie mean jack shit now, you insufferable turd! And to have Lauren go from being smart and NOT going out with him, to randomly taking a chance at the end and macking out with him - FUCKING GROSS!


And now Skills is back (jail time clearly over I assume???) and looking fine as always... and they just stand there like dumb fucking deers in the headlights. Karma is a bitch Marky mark and you are so gonna find out one day that friendship ebtrayal in order to get some actually hurts, and anyone with HALF a brain doesn't buy into it.Pucasers clearly have less than half a brain, in case you were all wondering. Tools.

Alex - aren't you a pool of self-loathing? Well she does have to wake up everyday and realized she will forever be tied to this suckass show forever.

Ha-di-fucking-ha-ha you stupid wench! Punched in the face by Brooke, sleeping with Alexander only to have him turn you down for Victoria Davis (yep, our young aussie designer fell for and tapped that VD - anyone else disturbed by her initials???), winding up getting filmed screwing the lead in the film... and you get turned down by guys who prefer a little Davis action. Oh well, sucks to be you.

My advice? CUT DEEPER! Not gonna lie, read this and thought it said deep throat.

Finally, Brooke. Oh no wait, she wasn't in this episode because the Brooke I know and love would NEVER apologize to Julian for all the shit he put her through. Nor would she ever say that her and Alex were "Okay" and apologize to her either!

BITCH TRIED TO STEAL YOUR MAN!

Oh my god Mark, you are such a fucking dick! Of course Brooke thought Julian slept with Alex, and his whole "So you still don't trust me" was suddenly made okay because SHE took all the blame in this? She chases him, she apologizes to Alex, she gets kicked off the set.... and she is the one saying sorry? Julian, word to the wise - PUT YOUR WOMAN FIRST!

No self-respecting chick would ever be second to any other chick... I guess Austin's licking of Mark's ass crack really got him places. More like they have been recreating the love scene from Brokeback Mountain and Marks been taking too many hit up his ass - where coincidentally his brains are located. Who knew?

Yeah Julian, go kiss Brooke and have make up sex without having to apologize at all, you fucking piece of crap. And who else thinks this "magical" (sorry, just choked on the thought of Boolian being anything other than a festering pile of shit) reunion moment is going to eventuate in that predictable miracle baby for Brooke.

NOOOOOOOOO! How about Brooke just get Cancer and die... I'd rather that happen than watch my girl secret anything that is gonna be bred of douche bag pond cum from The Julie-monster! That Pussy ass bitch!

FUCK OFF!

Julian is more believable bending over and taking it up the arse from Mark than actually being the right guy for Brooke Fucking Davis!

Remember her, Mark? The girl everyone liked better than Peyton... no matter how much shit you threw her way or how bad you tried to make her look? Now, you turn her into Seyton and people are losing faith - so what does that tell you? Mark Schwahn is a serious douche.

So, where do we go from here?Well, since we're heading down Boring Shit Highway, I'd say the chances of these last four episodes being entertaining are pretty slim.

I predict a Boolian spawn. Ugh, Now how can Julian impregnant Brooke when His Dick is currently shoved to far up his own ass (to spill his seed) Muhahaha!

Naley nothing-ness, Quinn/Clay forced relationship and one crazy stalker who may prove to be the best additon to the show yet. Even crazy, Katie/Sara's chemistry with Clay pissed all over Quinn's chemistry with him. Not too hard seeing as Katie/Sarah has a pulse.

And some lame Mouth/Skills issue with Lauren that will affect Millie - even though we all know that on his worst day Skills would be the more desirabe of the two. This show is a fucking joke!That's it for me this week though... I'm so pissed off at what this show has become that I'm not gonna sign any lame season 8 petitions. This show isn't even a shell of its former self, so why would I endorse its return?

THE CW AND MARK CAN KISS MY ASS!

Anyway, rant, review... have your say!

Later peeps,

Chrissy & Toddian

Much Love Homies

Douchebags and Hookers on Parade… Oh and a small matter of a fucked up petition!

Haha… I love Chris’ title BTW!

So, did I watch this fucking boring ass show?

Hell Nah… I can already guess that Julian keeps shoving his removable balls up his own ass (yes fucking himself over) when it comes to Brooke. I hear he supposedly slept with Alex (MAYBE) well, hasn’t this storyline been done 100 times… Season 3 Brucas/Seyton Cry’s A lot with that sagging face and popeyed SaWhore at the sparkle classic or whatever, or Mouth and Gigi season 5 or 6 – I’m not sure seeing ass usually I chose that time to pluck random hairs from my ass crack.

Yes, Yes… and I’m sure Moonfaced Quinn allowed us to see that droopy pelican Nose blow out booger chunks as she whined or cried about something? No, well first time for everything except great acting ((cause we know we will never get that from that amateur kiddie actress))?
My point is why petition… and yes there is a petition to keep this show alive … when we get nothing in return?

Did Haley and Nathan actually talk about Haley’s dying mom? Did Brooke find her brain wherever its been hiding and use Julian – who is about as useful as thin ass one ply tissue – to wipe his shitty existence from her ass? … probably/probably not, but at this point I could watch a Dan tongue Victoria and be less disgusted.

This show has turned to shit! Well, actually its been shitty since season 3 ended, but damn it do people really think that I or any one else with sense is gonna sign a fucking petition to keep this shit on air? Um, NO FUCKING WAY! Not until we the people who kept this suckass show alive with any payoff, get our just due!

1. UNTIL JULIAN and ALEX are dead, well Mark and company can gargle my balls and their own for that matter! I’m tired of Brooke being shitted on because Mark’s dick can’t grow and inch past his pinky and he can’t man up and admit she pawned his pet characters (ie Seyton and Now QuinNasty)!

2. GIVE BROOKE a GOOD MAN and a MOTHER FUCKING STORYLINE! I don’t care if he comes about a fucking cereal box, just give the girl what she wants so I can see those gorgeous dimples again. Sophia Bush is an awesome actress for being able to endure this abuse and actually not use the same crying face like some has-been OTH ex-character that I know.

3. UM… can Haley for once not have to share the spotlight with anyone?

4. Can Baley be real friends and please stop mentioning Seyton the Wonder Slut!

5. CLAY must stay away from Seyton incarnate aka QuinNasty Harlot from hell! This chick could suck the out of fucking ward of newborns! Lifeless she-demon! Go mooch off some poison and die, you useless character! Who the hell uses their dead mom to get a fucking studio…?

What did she say?

Quinn: Oh Mom, you are going to die? Then who will I mooch from when Haley removes the dumb stick Mark Schwahn currently shoved up her ass?

MOM: I don’t know you dumb fuck! I’m just hear to be killed off so that people watch for Haley even though it will show case you. How about I just give you a studio even though I sold all my property season 1 to live in an RV with my dead husband that was never mentioned – EVER!

Excreta…. And until our Demands and others are met, why should we petition. And judging by what Chris told me about this new episode, nothing is gonna change.

***
Douchebags and Hookers on Parade

I think that must be the name of Alex's script, plus that's the only way I can describe that attempt of entertainment I had to endure tonight. What a pile of shit! That being said, there were a couple of things that I actually didn't mind in the crap that was this episode, but they were few and far between and let's be honest - no one wants to sift through shit to find something worthwhile... likelihood is, it's all just stinky shit in the end.

But in the name of fairness and rational thought (something Mark knows nothing about, clearly), let me just get these semi-decent aspects of the episode off my chest before I spiral into the inevitable ass-kicking I'm about to dish on Mark-hole Schwahn-bitch.Firstly, Bethany Joy killed it tonight! Can I just say, that chick really knows how to pull off a tortured look. I mean really, she nailed every scene she was in tonight, which is pretty inspiring considering she also directed the episode, so props to her. I also liked Bess Armstrong in this episode.

It feels like we're gonna lose her soon and it's a shame because she can act circles around the fluff that is portraying her lame daughter Quinn. But Mark was never one to recognize talent - he did hire Hilarie after all based on his weird man-crush... pervy freak!Secondly, it was nice to see Nathan standing by his wife, taking the back seat to let Haley's storyline take front and center and even the kind words he had with Lydia were pretty cool.

It's a tough job trying to get me to appreciate Nathan's character (I only ever liked him season 1 and 2/3 when he was angry and giving either Lucas or Haley hell)... but tonight, I kinda dug him. Just a little. I'm sure it's just a passing phase though... and I have to add, even though it's probably mean and I did like him tonight, did anyone else crack up when they saw Nathan sitting on that damn couch reading a book? Playbook I might have bought, but Nathan ACTUALLY reading a book voluntarily... erm, no. Sorry dude.

You're a dumbass, that's why Haley tutored you. Don't think we forgot that.Finally, the last great thing about tonight's episode, and probably the best thing all-round - LIMITED QUINN!

Thank fucking god! I saw the heavens open and shine a beam of light when I realized I had gone through the show and only managed to see her a handful of times! It was nice that my up-chuck reflex was allowed to rest a little tonight when it comes to that pathetic excuse for a woman. I did cringe during the scenes with Clay though because that fucking pair have ZERO chemistry, but all in all, her lack of appearance really did the show some good!

What I find particularly hilarious though is the blank look she has on her face when she's trying to do emotional scenes - I swear she is trying to channel the bug-eyed look of Peyton but gets lost trying to think too hard on it and her face just freezes up like a mug shot of an arrested hooker on crack. Speaking of hookers, what the hell was she wearing in her new studio? Slut Barn must still be in business...

Well she is a slut... maybe she went into business with that free studio the slut mooched off her dead mom?

Yeah Quinn, real arty and deep with that get up. Smashed crab is you. I find it especially funny that in the three second scene Clay had with wifey-look-alike "Katie", I actually saw some purpose to him and reasons why he was hired. ((You mean other than to help beavers build dams with those chisled teeth?)) He had more chemistry in those three seconds with "Katie" than he has ever had with the multitude of visual punishing we have had to endure when his life is drained by Quinn. Quinn/Clay = epic fail!

Now... On to the ranting.

FUCK YOU MARK SCHWAHN YOU LIMP DICK MOTHER FUCKER!

Seriously? Seriously? What the fuck is so wrong with you that you feel it so necessary to annihilate Brooke and turn her into this needy, chasing dumb-shit? She is totally losing her pride by running after Julian. Brooke Davis is NOT like that! What happened to that character building we've seen these past 6 seasons? Did you just decide to forget that she has a fucking backbone and wouldn't put up with this shit?Let's go over this, shall we?Lucas - Although I loved Brucas, Brooke held the upper hand in this relationship. He had to fight for her and when she was done, it was done. Finito. End of story. Run to your second choice Peyton cos Brookie don't want ya!

Owen - Kicked his ass to the curb when he couldn't commit. No qualms, no seconds thoughts, no pity.

Felix - Dumped his ass and fired up when he hurt her friend (and I used that term lightly because we all know Peyton is anything but!) Either way, he was no match!

Peyton - Slapped that bitch stupid anytime she stepped out of line.

Victoria - Fired her own mother when she was treating her like garbage.

X - Kicked that bitch's ass when he came after Sam......and I'm supposed to believe that Julian is so magical that she subjects herself to his shit without so much as a fight?

Hell fucking no!

That little flat-headed ferret is so self-involved that he is using his ex girlfriend to pimp himself as a director and inflate that already giant head of his. I wanted to scream bloody murder what that fuck-stick through some lines at poor Brooke...

"I don't remember telling you to stay out of my way." - Uhm, wake up you fucking moron, clearly that giant head of yours is full of air because when you break up with someone, that's exactly the message you're sending them!

Come here/go away, come here/go away - make up your damn mind you prick!

"At least they're going for it!" - What the fuck? Maybe they meant going for the biggest Douche Bag without a brain or a dick award?

Brooke is hanging off you in a bid to get your attention, even though you are the massively big-headed, tiny-packing ass-wipe who sent her on her way, and you dare throw that line in her face like she's not going for it. Arrogant, self-centered pig! Go roll in the mud with that boar Alex and squeal like the little bitch you are.

"When Brooke puts up a wall..." - No fuck-head, it's actually more the case of "When Julian puts up a wall of slutty wannabe actresses who prefer blows of every kind than actually being a woman of substance and I moronically choose them over my perfect girlfriend..."(Julian's a Pussy... maybe he wants to get close to alex so he can kill her, steal her identity, and become a woman. Lord knows he already lacks balls... :D)

I've had it with that good-for-nothing piece of shit. I felt for Brooke when she took that chance and found a naked Alex in his bed - that dude has serious mental issues. Like, the face explains it all now - he's a dumb-fuck! I just want him to die a horrible, slutty, std-infected death. I hope he did sleep with Alex, because the chances of his dick falling off after a ride in that lemon are fairly high.

Speaking of Alex being a lemon, Alexander is the bomb! ((Yeah Julian, Alexander is the Bomb Like Tick! Tick! You shit head, inflatable head having bastard!))

I clapped and cheered when he practically told her she was useless in the sack, stating he had done all the work. Preach it, brother! And then to add insult to injury he totally tells her chances are no one will see the film. Well, shove that down your gagging throat you good-for-nothing slore! But then what do we see? Alex gets to have the feistiness that is missing from my Brookie? I'm sorry Mark, but no one can do feisty like Brooke Davis, so you might as well shove your face back up your rectum and sniff a little longer, ‘cos your shit stinks!

I'm not even going to discuss Jamie. I don't care for him, don't care for his sorrow about Grandma, just plain don't care. Call me harsh or whatever... but that little freak annoys me. Next!Hmm, what else?

Victoria taking a lover? GROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSSSSSSS!

Having it be Julian's dad? Kinda funny scene because that woman is growing on me... however standing her up at the end of the show, that was bullshit. I think Markhole has an issue with these Davis women and is in need of some therapy... possibly the medicated kind ‘cos it seems like the dude is out of his damn mind!

Millicent/Owen/Mouth/Lauren - YAWN.

I liked Owen in this episode, even though he was channeling wolfman. Yeah he's a douche for leaving Brooke when she went all "baby mama" on him, but I guess I can understand the hesitation. Tonight he redeemed himself for me and the fact that he is a thorn in Mouth's side is awesome. I think Mouth just needs to fuck off already because I was really disgusted by him and Lauren. I mean really Mouth, are you that fucking retarded? Haley gives a speech about making every moment count by being with the one you love...

and you turn up at Lauren's house? MARKs back on the CRACK ALERT! CRACK ALERT!

You really are a dumb fuck.

I may hate Brulian, but at least Brooke got the hint. You, on the other hand, are just a stupid a-hole. That being said, I don't give a fuck about Mouth, Millie or Lauren, so whatever. Fast forward for me!At the end of the episode I was left feeling that familiar disappointed feeling that seems to be synonymous with One Tree Hill these days. I miss the days of great writing and characters with depth! I miss when the main characters were propped by the lesser characters.

I miss when the sub-characters disappeared after their story was obviously done. I miss the originality of the show. I miss the characters being who they are, not alien versions of themselves.

I MISS ONE TREE HILL!

This shit we're being dished up in NOT One Tree Hill... recycled storylines can suck dick as far as I'm concered. Mark Schwahn has lost it... his talent pool has dried up and I'm guessing he'll be crying in the corner like a baby when he realizes that no one will want to dedicate an episode to him as a director because he just plain sucks donkey balls.Anyway, that's it for me and this failed episode.

Agree? YES! Disagree? FUCK KNOW! Throwing shit at your television too? Yep and Mu lunch with my mouth! Muhahaha!

Rant away amigos...

Later peeps!

Chrissy & Toddian

Much Love Homies

Rumors, Spumors, And the Schwahn's obvious Brain tumor

So, I’m pretty sure most have heard the rumors that there might not be a season 8 of One tree Hill!

Hallelujah!

Has the Holy trinity heard my wayward prayers and decided to prevent Dork Schwahn from spreading these Rabbis infested disease also known as PRO-SLUT SHITTY ‘Rather Have AIDS than logic and constancy’ BULLSHIT he calls writing?

Has Hell finally decided to open up and swallow this half-ass hour of Mark Schwahn sucking his own gonads and pretending it’s a blonde skeletal, talentless actress?

((Which BTW is so fucking creepy, I mean what sort of writer’s Johnson gets set aflame by dreaming of screwing an actress who couldn’t show emotion if she were squeezing out a spawn with medication.))

Probably the same writer who actually thinks pissing on fans and the screenplay, letting it dry, then waving that stinky piece of shit in everyone’s faces ((ie, Pucas flashback scenes of boredom and hell and trying to destroy BL memories by adding dick face or rather dick wrapped around his forehead, Julian into the mix))!

And that makes this Dumb Fuck Hack writer just…

FUCKING GROSS!

That Don Imus lookin’ Script-WHORE!

That’s right; the Schwahn is a script whore! Dudes been pimping out the same storylines since season 4. He’s like a crack head using a once great but now nasty body for sex to get his high, repeatedly! And the nerve of Pukers… see … to say ratings are down because Sir McSquinty and his Skeletal Skank-whore are gone?

Nah, they have been down since Pucas started season 4 and whenever they break up it goes back to normal. In fact, most BLers quit by the middle season 6 after the disrespect and there is no way to get them back to watching if the Schwahn, the guy who allowed it, is still there. So… NEXT!

I could talk about Idiot Pucas lovers all day, but I’d rather talk about interesting shit! Hahaha! Those boring mother fuckers!

The fact is that the beginning of season 7 had the same ratings as the end of season 6 when Pucas was everywhere spreading doom, gloom, stank-ass cheese and emo boredom to the world.
Nope season 7 started suck when moonfaced Quinn dragged beaver tooth clay into the dark, talentless abyss with her sucky acting. When Millie and ugly ass monkey *I mean Mouth* took over the show and Midget Jamie wouldn’t do what everyone wanted which was:

SHUT THE FUCK UP!

Giving Haley James little to no storyline without crazy nannies or boring ass Nate’s basketball juggling!

And the biggest one was always hurting our fair BROOKLYN! Taking Camel Humped forehead Julian and morphing him into triple camel humped head LucASS clone 2.0 was the last a straw! I know Brooke and Haley have a huge fan bases and pissing us off is not wise.

And Mark calls this shit EPIC!
More Like E(PathetIC)…

Why? Well, I’ll let my girl Chris explain that in her review of the last suck ass episode.

*enter Chrissy*

EPIC - Something phenomenonally bad masked as something good in an effort to try and convince others that it isn't one big pile of steaming shit!
Judging by the way Mark views this word - This episode was as EPIC as Pucas - nice work, Marky Mark!

So hey, hi, howdy, hello and all that junk... Chrissy here again, helping out my Todd and watching this stinking crapbag show for yet another week, scratching my head as to where on earth the magic that used to be One Tree Hill has disappeared to and wondering how I'm going to get back the hour of my life it just sucked from me in it's failed attempt of entertaining me.

Shall we begin?

I feel the need to blurt out the obvious here and start with those James girls. ((Please tell me one of these bitches is dead!))

I mean really, did we not get enough of the tag-team of Quinn and her cheerleader Haley last week? ((Once was too much))

We seriously have to sit through them acting all holier-than-thou with Taylor, yet again? I clapped when Taylor yelled at Haley for acting like she knew what was best for everyone - here, fucking here! I mean, I love Haley, but please bitch, if you keep shoving your smug attitude and condescending tone down everyone's throat I'm gonna be on the fast track to hating you. Excuse me for remembering that whilst Taylor stirred trouble in season 2, she was also the girl who stood by Haley when she decided to leave Nathan for the tour, and she was also the girl that Haley called when she knew Nathan was travelling back home after attempting to see her on tour, and she was also the girl who told Nathan to be faithful to his wife and to have faith in them - THAT WAS ALL TAYLOR! NOT QUINN! But character assassination in order to prop a worthless, less-loved character is a total Mark move... I should have known...

So, this brings me back to my question... David broke up with Taylor? WHY? ((Mark needed something to fill the time while he sat on the shitter))

It wasn't like his ex was any better than the current James he was shacked up with, and let's face it, she would have been a better lay, if for no other reason than the proportionate nose she has on her (I still say Far-Quinn Idiot is a health hazard!) Then comes that line...

"You're not seriously looking to me for sympathy?"

Did anyone else let out a sigh of shocked and appalled air at that statement? Like, are you fucking kidding me? The vapid whore left her husband for fucked up reasons, spent zero time mourning him before moving on to another poor, unsuspecting soul that she could drain the life out of (which by the way, I will NEVER forgive that cock-sucking Mark bitch for ruining the potential of Clay), and she manages to utter the EXACT words we have been screaming at the television, in regards to her, for how long now?

Does anyone else think Mark gets a rise out of being a total, fucking wanker? (( See Mark Schwahn's HOW TO RUIN YOUR MEALTICKET FOR DUMMIES PART DEUX: ssn 6-7))

And really, must Clay profess his love to Quinn EVERY episode? Please bitch, saying it doesn't make it visible, and we don't see it. We never have, we never will. Move on already.

Quinn is SUCH a waste a space, and not even her half attempt at crying and being all saddened by her dying Mom made me like her... especially since Haley and Taylor acted their asses off and smashed her pathetic attempt of being depressed, out of the ball park. I mean really, where was Momma James supporting Haley when she wanted to follow her deams? She certainly wasn't giving her daughter 6 months of free rent in a shop to get started - well Quinn.... what can I say except that wench only proved one thing this episode - once a mooch, always a mooch! I just HATE this character!

Now I don't know about you guys, but when Clay called her baby, I swear to you all, I tasted a little vomit in my mouth - it brought me back to the days of watching Pucas attempt chemistry, where my up-chuck reflex was tested on a weekly basis. Lesson here? CHEMISTRY is needed for a couple to be believable and well-liked. Proof? Season 2 was the HIGHEST rated season of this show, and what did it entail? Naley and Brucas angst. What did it NOT entail? Any romantic Pucas of any kind and no couples without chemistry. Wake the fuck up Mark and start sniffing the pile of shit you seem to think we enjoy having shoved down our throats... Quinn sucks! Quinn and Clay suck even harder! Kill off the bitch already and give Haley a decent storyline to sink her teeth into.

Oh, and just out of curiosity - when did Haley's dad die? ((Good Question... Wait, haley has parents?))Like seriously, I must have been bored out of my brain in the episode they killed him off. And yet... I don't care. Whatever.

Haley's other half - Nathan - well, wasn't this just the most pointless episode for him? I mean really, he got paid for that shit? Walking around after his little freak of a son and getting owned by Julian on set? In what alternate universe would Julian EVER get one up on Nate and make him look stupid? Give me a mother fucking break! I will say though, he did have the best line in this show when we had a brief Brathan moment... "Let me know if you need me to knock some sense into the guy!"

YES NATHAN, DO IT! Channel your old-school, ass-kicking godliness and smash that fuckstick Julian back to whatever rock he crawled out from and stop him treating Brooke like a fucking doormat!

Speaking on things I wipe my feet on - Grubbs, really? Nice singing, but I don't give a shit who his girlfriend is. NEXT!

So, moving on... Millie. Is it just me or does no one even care about this storyline anymore? I don't!

When those bitches waked into the store I couldn't even raise an eyebrow to show my interest in that scene and the junkie-wannabe's problems - I simply don't give a fuck. Go snort some bad blow and be gone already. Seriously, you were more fun when you played in the shadows on the Tree Hill playground and served your actual purpose of propping the main characters, not eating away at their screen time with your lame story. Go and pimp Brooke, and maybe that will drag her away from the insanely frustrating and boring storyline she seems to have landed in.

BRULIAN. *gags* BOO-Lian

Mark says romantic build-up - I say eye-gouging seems more productive. I could create more romantic build-up letting a bull loose in a paddock full of cows.

Speaking of dumb animals, anyone else wanna hurl Alex through a window? ((Do those insect walking sticks count as animals?))

So what, she's all Team Brulian now and we're supposed to like her all of a sudden? You know, for a guy that spends a lot of time bringing up the past to pimp his new season (Aunt Seyton, Uncle Skills and "Working with my ex boyfriend in my ex-ex boyfriend's house" pathetic throw ins, just to name a few), dumbfuck Mark seems to easily forget that the last girl who went after Brooke's man and then encouraged her to get back with him, turned around and acted like a total slut YET AGAIN with the dude, and we're supposed to believe Alex is any different?

And don't even get me started on her and Alexander! But hey, he's a designer, maybe he can teach her how to use scissors properly! And please, keep on kissing Brooke on the cheek so I can enjoy watching big-headed Julian swallow the same shit he has been dishing out to Brooke for how long now? I know Julian probably swallows, but I doubt its shit... Muhahahaha! Stick that in your pipe and smoke it, you fucking douchebag!

What are we seeing happen here? It's simple - Mark recycling storylines, yet again! Quite frankly, season 4 was the moment that dick lost all my respect. And what's with dropping all these lines about Alex being "hot" - go hump her then and leave your twisted, morbid fantasies away from my television screen. I swear, this writer must get off on slutty whores who treat their "friends" like shit - jerk off to those bitches in your own time and try really hard to remember that REAL WOMEN don't buy into that shit!

(( Seeing as the dude has been humping a cardboard cut out of Seyton for nearly six years - I doubt he knows anything about REAL women))

A bitch like Seyton and a bitch like Alex would have been handled good and proper by any woman I know, and slapped senseless would have been a nice way to put what those hoes would have endured because of their antics. I always forget, that in the world of Mark, if you act like a backstabbing, two-faced whore, you've got nothing to worry about. Now there's a great life lesson to teach the younger generation that watch your show. "SLUT PAYS OFF." That should be the show's new tagline. That, and "Mark = dumbass!"

Finally, Brooke. Oh my god, stab my fucking eyes out and use them as hockey pucks because this is NOT Brooke. She doesn't pine after some guy who puts everyone except her, first. She doesn't throw longing stares at some asshat who isn't smart enough to see how amazing she is, even though he's read a whole book about it (now how's that for dumb?). She doesn't buy into his bullshit when he throws out "I Miss You" but then doesn't have the balls to do something about treating her right! And she doesn't tell the guy who treated her like shit how great a job he's doing at work and making him feel good about himself when he's the limp-dick mother fucker who broke her damn heart because he got off on some crackhead whore lusting after him.

Brooke Davis has SELF ESTEEM and she doesn't take shit like this from jerkoffs who treat her like garbage! She kicks and then dumps their ass. And now she is being nice to Alex? She couldn't even manage that with her best friend, and THAT is the kind of realistic Brooke (circa season 1-3) that I want to see. Not this doormat version that Mark seems to be so fond of. Grab your lame time machine, you freak of a writer, and transport yourself back to the days when women were happy to be doormats and then stay there. If you enjoy that kind of woman, then fine - but don't try to change the best character of the show into a lame version of herself. Give us our Brookie back, PRONTO!

Okay... so, all in all... I'm left with three words.

WHAT THE FUCK?

What the fuck happened to Brooke? Been possessed by Seyton. The only saving grace is that she also has NOT been possessed by Hil's lack of acting ablity too otherwise we'd all be screwed!

What the fuck is Julian eating to make his head grow so damn big? Squint-o-Flakes!

What the fuck is Quinn still doing on my screen? Mark probably asked her: Do you spit or swallow?

What the fuck makes the writers think we give a shit about crackhead Millie? They share drugs and a brain?

What the fuck was Nathan's purpose in this episode? What the fuck has been this dudes purpose since he and luke became friends season 1?

What the fuck kind of a name is Grubbs? Well the Schwahn couldn't name him "MY SHOW IS IN THE SHITTER", so Grubbs was the next best alternative.

What the fuck happened to this damn show? in the shitter! hahaha!

WHAT THE FUCK, MARK?

Anyway, share your thoughts or whatever. I have a feeling my gorgeous amigo Todd is going to make me rant at you poor people from now on, so good luck with that :)

Later peeps!

Chrissy

& Toddian....

Much love Homies

So I missed the new OTH... haha

Well, I didn't even know the show was coming back on last night nor do I plan to watch. But here is my guess... we had more of Big ass nosed Quinn and Chisled tooth Clay's ridiculousness, Julian proved once again that his dick is on his face rather than his pants, and Alex the Whore who can't even kill herself properly is still breathing to annoy and Bore viewers into quitting.

Does anyone even care about those too life sucking Vomiteers... thats right, they induce almost as much vomit as Pucas did. Seriously, Haley's concert thing or whatever, and we shoulc care about David being there with Taylor?

Why? Didn't dickface quinn cheat and hook up with Clay. Unless that She-man pinochio lookin beeotch has quicksilver divorcing powers too. *insert Eyeroll*

I say go davd and Taylor...have hot animal sex because at least I can watch you two without scratching my balls.

I think its time we all give up the goose and quit.

I heard that Haley said that "JULIAN IN NOT LUCAS"

Well if Fucking Prop Haley hasn't lost the remainder of the brains she shitted out season 6, than i don't know what she has done with them? Lets see, ugly ass five headed Julian aka Tranny ass girlvoiced ballon head is the BOOTLEG "Poorman's" Lucas!

He couldn't be Lucas if he was a clone of Dan's retarded sperm.

He's a wannabe with the face Ronald McDonald's gay twin brother.

and what is this I hear about Julian supposedly dumping Brooke to help Alex?

Didn't Brooke dump his ass in 2009...

Mark Schwahn needs to stop letting the actor who plays Julian tickle his balls and write this horrible actor off the screen. Damn, if i have to see that inflated piece of shitTurd he calls a head on more time I just might vomit. Seriously vomit.

and who would have thought Victoria was right about Julian and his homoerotic, wanna be a female victim tendencies? I wouldn't have but that asshole apparently thinks otherwise.

I really have nothing else to say except maybe Brooke needs to move on fast. Just run away and get with a real man. Hell, she can hook up with a check - even though techincally Julian is a ball-less PUSSY!

so, from now on my reviews may be a day or two after the episode airs if i watch it at all. But whatever.

as for Milli- Please die and take your slut friend Alex with you.

Someone fill me in on whats happening.

Much love Homies,
Toddian

2 Stars, <3 BALEY <3, A SLUT, & a Junkie

SERIOUSLY...

I give this episode 7.10 2 stars... Because it was good, better than most, but Damn if i a not fucking tired of Mark Schwahn Screwing Brooke over, Screwing Nathan out of Basketball, and Screwing haley out of a descent family member! YES, YES MOTHER-FUCKING HELL, the Schwahn seriously writes from seat or his pants...

Or rather the crack of his ass!

Because this show is Bullshit!

Lets start off with the fact that CLAY's claws-hook mouth and Quinn's Huge Motherfucking Moon face was all over the televison screen! No wonder Nathan fired Clays ass after the bobcats capped another point guard! Seriously, If Clay wasn't so busy trying to gnaw on the fish between QUinnGLY's thighs, he wouldn't have left Nathan out in the cold.

After Dan and Mouth put their careers and personal lives on the line to get Nate where he is today!? UGH, I wanted Dan to drown Clay for using Sarah, his dead wife as an excuse! And while he is at it Kill Millie and Alex.

This Millie on Crack/coke thing is boring---> Nobody cares about her but Brooke should have slapped the ugly off that bitches face. Just line them up like a waiting list for Brooke's SLAP A HO' contest and let BROOKLYN D Bitch slap some bitches... Starting with Julian! Ugh, I was hoping Brooke changed the locks and kicked his ass out.

NO SUCH LUCK!

And seriously, how many years must we endure Nathan's struggle with balls, orange, boucing balls...the Schwahn is making me think he is homosexual? Serious, balls must be important to the Schwahn! I think he has a Crush on Julian too, cause Julian's face whines more than Quinn.

All thoughout his agrument with Alex about the empty coke bottle and thinking she was lying, I was just looking at his shiney forehead. I mean, seriously i think I hate every character on this show except Haley and Brooke!

Both these ladies are what Earns this show 2 stars! First Haley putting Quinn in her place, telling her how selfish she is... Haley for the WIN, and her standing by Nate's decision to fire Clay... I love Haley.

Brooke one the other hand....

WE ALL KNEW SHE WOULDNT BE ABLE TO HAVE KIDS!

Mark Schwahn is a ball-less PRICK... Why the hell do I still watch this show. It looks like Next week is worst! GRRRR, i'm so mad! Seriously, I'm gonna stop before i go into Mark Schwahn Hate rant! This Guy is so fucking lame... bet he gets his storylines from the CAT IN THE HAT!

Fucking dumb fuck...

You guys rant away, I'm pissed!

That Episode With The Schwahn’s Dirty Balls In Brooke Fans’ Faces!

That’s Right, That’s right…

I’m a Brucas/Naley/Baley Fan but first and foremost I’m a Brooke Fan!

That’s right Mother-fuckers, I’m Brooke Davis’ Bitch, a lot like pussy-ass Julian. So, its no surprise that when I first saw the opening scene of One Tree Hill has Brooke and Julia(n) the girl voice! Sitting in BROOKE’s house, on Brooke’s sofa… What does Julian contribute? I mean what is his job?

Oh working with Alex when he could try to produce already established hit books like most people with common sense would do. BUT NOOOOO… Brooke finally agrees to say she loves this prick, follows him to LA, Suddenly wants to get married *GAG ME YOU DICK HEAD MARK* but Julian can’t work with someone else for Brooke.

Fucking hell, that loser sucks as a boyfriend, so yes, of course We have to endue the Talk of Ugly ass, annoying, skeletal Alex… But Hell, anything for my Brooklyn right? WOW!

Before I could nod off, my gag reflexes went into overdose with Wildebeest Millie, Ape-Twin Mouth, and Coma Inducing Alex! Yes, Yes… Millie turned into the worst actor since GOD crapped out Squint-face Chad Michael Murray and Hillwhats her face! Seriously, the actress is just unattractive and couldn’t act like a Bitch if her Mother was a Bulldog! Fucking Hell, and lets be serious here…

The girl is skinny as hell (Mouth found diet pills seriously, Diet pills don’t cure ugly, Millie!) but built like a fucking football player. Seriously, I wouldn’t be surprised if she molested Mouth up his nether hole! When she burst into a sleeping Alex’s bedroom at the hotel all hopped up, high, calling her bitch and shit… it was like watching a rip-off of Season 4 Rachel and Brooke… only the poor man with Brain damage version.

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ…. That’s me sleeping!


Speaking of Unnecessary Eye rape… Quinn and Clay are so fucking boring. Damn, I found myself praying for fucking Dick pimples and Warts! You mean to tell me that we are supposed to believe Quinn has been helping underprivileged kids? Now, since when? Was this between her trying to ride Clay’s Jock or dumping over David for wanting to live the way Clay is leaving now?

Rich? This is like Clay’s what? First time helping others… And Damn, of course some poor Black kid needs help! I guess other races aren’t Poor. *Insert eye roll*

Yes, Yes…

The only good /interesting thing about Mouth is that Rachel is interacting with him. Telling Rachel to go and visit Brooke was The shit! I’m really enjoying Rachel and Dan’s return to Tree Hill. Sorry, But Nathan is getting on my fucking nerves. Damn, how many times does Dan have to pull his ass out of a fucking fire before he can be nice.

He killed Keith? Yes he did! And I don’t want Nathan to forget that, but is it that hard to show humility, to realize that this is your father? To love unconditionally? Damn, Next time Dan should let that orange ball loving douche drown in the Problems HE created! Hell, at this point the only thing good Thing Nate Has going for him is Haley and Jamie!

For the record Dan never ruined anything for Nathan and Clay would have been able to focus if he stayed on the job and off Quinn’s lips. Fucking prick sucks as an Agent! YAWN!

And Can I just say, Haley was rocking that song! This woman can sing her ass off! Rock on B. JOY! She was Amazing! And that song went perfectly with Brooke’s anger at the bar in that Hot ass Black Dress! After finding out that she wasn’t pregnant and Julian bailing on her to save Alex like LucASS used to Save PeytWHORE!

Can Mark Schwahn Get off the Fucking Crack! How can Brooke, Hot ass hell Brooke get stood up by smashed face Julian for Dick faced Alex! Anyone noticed that Julian again took Lucas’ words for Brooke and twisted them for Alex after she called to say she was thinking of taking the Crack cocaine she found in her suit case…

YES PLOT DRIVEN BULSHIT!

Thus Brooke is pissed and she lashes out at Millie who deserved it for still wasting time on the show- Useless Bitch! But Brooke Snapping on Rachel when she never properly opened up a can of whoop-whore-ass on Seyton SaWhore - I will really Hate the Schwahn! Seriously, I wanted Rachel to slap Brooke Back and slap her out of that Day dream, Babies for everyone, frolic in the damn sun with Osama Bin Laden Bullshit and wake the fuck up.

The Brooke Davis I loved Took the bad with the good. The lemon and Made fucking tequila shots with a side of lemon pieces. The old Brooke confronted her feelings and didn’t let any man, especially a loser like Julian! Lucas 2.0 is getting on my damn nerves… time for Julian to die!

Who chooses some chick they barely know over their girlfriend?

So officially, the Schwahn has been slapping Brooke Fans in the face with his dirty, shriveled up balls!

No baby- not that I am mad.

No good guy- but seriously, Julian suck shit asshole!

No Whimsical Spunk - Slapping Rachel is uncalled for when it should have been Millie .

But I love Brooke, so <3>


What do you think?

OTH... Between Boring & Hilarious

Yo, Yo, Yo, Yo…
Let me open with a Rap
I certainly thought
OTH would be Stanking Than that pucas Crap…
With Fugly Ass Quinn
And Chisled Tooth Clay
Didn’t know if her EMO Ass Would Cry
Or Just Give Free Emo ASS Away
But Oh was I surprised
High Brooke and Haley Were Left Alone
The Only Thing More Sexi than those vixens
Was Clay Hot Dead Wife in a Thong!
The Camping Trip was Lame
And Nathan needs Kick Julian’s big Forehead
Teaching a Kid To be a coward
Damn Dan Always sees the Dead!
Rachel Loves Dan,
Even though she paid for a guy to die
And If Mouth Doesn’t look like a Monkey
Than Everybody Must be missing both eyes
That kid named Chuck
And Julian should be Twins
Is it me
Or Something weird suck the curve from his chin….

Hahahaha…

Seriously, Tonight was the best, but it didn’t suck really.

Dan being in Mexico about to get a heart… Fucking Dumb but interesting! LOL! I can say that Mark Schwahn is a Damn idiot. But at least Rachel really loves him as proven after he fainted on the set of his show. She proved that she would do anything for him to live including pay parents of a boy on life-support in order to get his heart!

I could do with Quinn and her Drama and Clay’s Whining over Sarah. Last week was enough, but now… Bullshit. GET THE FUCK OFF MY TV, Bitches. Damn, they are about as boring as Alex and Milli who were thankfully gone.

But how desperate is Quinn, Running after Clay in the middle of a fucking rain storm! To his house and Stalking him,, asking what they are… well… Clay is a widower You DUMB FUCKING WHORE! And You, ARE STILL MARRIED BITCH!

I was starting to enjoy her when she baked brownies and got Haley and Brooke High, but seriously leaving them alone in a big House while High. When I am High as hell I do stupid shit… and what sort of message or they sending children anyway? UGH… but I digress, any Brooke/Haley is GREAT!

And the Camping, I thought the Julian Hate was Hilarious. I hate the DUDE with a passion but really hated him giving Jamie and Excuse not to face his fears. That’s what you do… He is such a loser and made a big dead about the sex tape… Skillz has a big Fucking mouth, can’t wait for his ass to go to jail… Fucking thief… (the actor not the character)!

Anyway, didn’t Julian read Lucas’s Boring ass Book… Hahahaha, apparently NOT!

And speaking of Lucas… I loved Dan’s little pick about Having Lucas on the show because he wasn’t doing anything! HILARIOIUS! In Your Face Pucas Fans! Muhahahahahahaha! Fucking Losers!

But Lets be real… Who really gave a Fuck about this episode. BALEY were HOT and Awesome but the preview of the next episode is my concern.

I am quitting…

Brooke Having a baby for Julian’s Big head, smashed face, ugly ass Boring as fucking dry ass, SHIT-Turds! Fuck you, Mark Schwahn! Fuck you and you’re annoying,, Force-feeding hand on Dick writing! I hate Julian! I hate this entire fucking show!

And I hope Millie and ALEX overdose and DIE!

Great The Chisled Tooth Agent & Whinny Bitch Show!

Holy SHIT! HOLY, HOLY, Boring ass SHIT, Batman!

On would think that with so much possible Drama with Naley with Even Brulian (BOOlian to me) that Dickhead Schwahn would want to stop playing with his Johnson and decide to write what we want to see... But OH KNOW! OH KNOW!

I Spy, in My Eye, the PUCAS REPLACEMENT!

What in Heavens name made Dork Schwahn think we would give two shits about Clay, his Ghost wife, and Ugly ass Quinn! Damn! Where is the big Naley focus... all Naley are doing is sitting around on couches watching Dan Possibly railroad the Nasty groupie or his Career...

Boring... Zzzzzzzzzz! I wanted them to show up o the scene but at least they are actually featured. Where the Bloody Fucking Hell is Brooke? One scene in the beginning and all this Big ass nosed Quinn and Lame as Clayton 24-7!

I don't give a FUCK about these two bitches!

First of all we have Hurricane Skanks clothes are all over Clays Yard, assuming David threw them there. UM, GO DAVID! Dumb that Dirty ASS SLUT! And we spend a good 15 minutes whating this whore basically pant her way through a conversation with Clay... Who mother fucking cares.

I want Naley and Brooke! Hell, even the Dan shit is more interesting! Love Dan sticking it to that Thieving BITCH! Where his Haley with that Lead arm to smack that witch down to size! Loving that Dan is showing his dark side but for a good reason. And now that Blonde Squint-a-Douche is off lord Knows where, we can finally see Dan forgiven!

Because this nice Dan shit is beginning to get on my nerves. But Rachel & Dan working together to take down this bitch is AWESOME! How can they, My Gorgeous Nathan and Haley Not believe that Dan is trying to help them. He is making look great and getting rid of this BITCH! HELL to the FUCK yes!


... Then again, that Lie Detector Test on his show that Renee the Groupie is taking is having alot of True's about Nathan. But they are never 100% accurate, if at all!

But just when its getting good... No Brooke Sighting (only the little redundant EMO SHIT that head Writer Mark Schwahn Keeps pumping out of his asshole onto the screenplay) and all this Clay/Ghost Sarah/Quinn triangle! UGH... I am so about to Jump off a bridge like Sarah and Clay on the bridge in their first meeting flashback.

But seriously, Clay needs to stop eating fucking Bricks if he insists on smiling so damn much! Fucking Hell, Maybe he can gnaw on Quinn's Gigantic Nostrils... In that random Flashback about the husband she is being a bitch too, i thought she was going to poke the dude in the eye with that Nose Dagger!

I'm sorry, i know that is mean, but its true.... Hahahaha! Hate me if you want, i don't give a fuck!

JESUS, but thats the only thing interesting about the annoying Crybaby... Let me get this start, this man goes off to make money to buy that annoying bitch ass moocher a Dark-room for her photos and probably a car since she claimed in that ridiculous flashback that she walked everywhere.

Seriously... are we supoosed to feel bad because she wants to stay poor! Oh, WOW! He wants to live out of poverty and thats a bad thing! What a dumb ass shit head! i hope she Kills herself... I can imagine she is the blonde rat-headed, Popeyed bimbo from season 1-6!

But just when i was ready 45 minutes into the program, to turn the Channel... Dan Blew that lying Renee Slut out of the water! Now If Nathan doesn't forgive Dan for What he has done, i will never watch this shitty show again. Honestly, Dan is the only thing that saved the night!

And also...

Clay's Ghost Wife has more Chemistry

with

Him than Quinn!

Mean picture... But you know thats why you love and read this blog! Muhahahaha!