Or is this just a trick by Dork IsuckMajorAsSchwahn while he slips in as much of that PUCAS rash of EPIC EMOness, Guest Stars from Time-wasting Hell, and FORCED Cheese-tastic relationships on us?
Hmm….
Does He Really think that Just because SOPHIA BUSH is looking Sexy as Hell, And BECAUSE B. JOY looks HOT enough to Eat, and (To rope in all the child-molesting Pervs, of course) Haley’s Older sister Looks like a Fifteen Year old who’s been slapped in the face with a Tree Branch - That we are all going to just give this show ANOTHER Chance?
Ummm, A HELLS YES! Hahaha!
This Clayton Dude as Potential! Nate better Not have knocked up some Group WHORE! And Julian… Why Can’t he die? Muhahahaha! I hate that guy, but I would Take him over Cat Screaming, Bitch ass, stick pole MIAnnoyance, Bore Me to Death Chastity Belt Chase, and UGLY ASS Mouth!
But lets get into the Episode Shall we!?
First Up, DAN! 14months since the EVE of Nathan’s first NBA game, Dan is still alive and going strong even though he should be dead! Yeah, and Mark Schwahn wasn’t raised by brain Dead Chimps! -Sense the sarcasm?-We all knew our resident Immortal Vampire, walking deadbeat Dad would be alive and well spreading his own brand of Child abandoning joy to the world!
What is surprising is that He is standing in front of a big ass UNNECESSARY time clock chatting about how he didn’t get to see Nathan finally juggle those orange balls he loves so much! After spending Like Five-thousand fucking years, a broken leg, flying through bullet proof windows like a crash test dummy, and saving all the underprivileged black players in the world (Damn , Some days I Hate Mark Schwahn!) Nathan is in the NBA… YAY!
Of course, saving the Black youth and showing how poor and underprivileged they are is just A MUST! BECAUSE of all the FANs OTH has Screwed over: BRUCAS FANS, Haley fans who want an actual storyline, I guess Mark figured he may as well piss off African American viewers and stereotype the entire ethnicity.
That’s right, I’m guessing Haley’s 15 year old... I mean young looking but mysteriously older than Haley & Taylor (I guess) sister is having a moment of pathetic clarity while starting at a black girl picking up a bullet shell in her front yard! I mean, what sort of clarity she would get from this, no one knows but apparently the African American struggle just makes her see how much of her life she is taking for granted.
IS AL SHARPTON on the OTH writing staff and I just don’t know about it, or what!
I’m getting pissed off because this is becoming too much stereotypes. Seriously, First Q , then Nate and the black players he gave up his spot for like a Damn fool, Skillz being like the only semi-star on the show to not be successful, Giving away Biggie & Pac CD's and now this…
*Cue* Hales Jamming just a little too Hard to her own Music. NOW I ADMIT, this SHIT SOUNDED TOO DAMN GOOD even though it personally wasn’t my style of Music but I was like:
“Damn Hales, why don’t you just grab a stripper pole and get to work! LOL!”
The way Hales was jerking, jumping up and breaking it down, you would have thought she had crabs and they were making lunch of her crotch. The crabs might have come from the HOBO’s clothes she stole and decided it was cool to wear! Hahaha, LOL! So, I don’t like that first outfit, but we all Have to admit HALEY is looking DAMN HAWT this season!
So with some serious rump shaking music playing, I was up two-stepping to Haley’s song when BOOLIAN popped up on the screen! I never thought I would say this when Brooke/Sophia was on my Screen but HOLY FUCK how many BL SCENES can you steal, Fuckers! Seriously, Julian the girl voice bitch is getting some tongue in the BRUCAS spot…?
Ugh, I really wish Mark Schwahn would stop wiping those Sunkist Induced orangish Green turds from his ass with the new scripts thus forcing him to use old episodes and pawn them off as if they are newly written material. Seriously, I'm so Sending this douche bag some Charmin for Christmas.
Okay, now when did Millicent the Girlfriend of Mr. I’m To Hideous to be Seen become Brooke!? Are you shitting me, Brooke should be the one running Clothes over BRO’s and so should VICTORIA! I guess that fucking asshole Mark had to turn Brooke into SEYTON. Begging Mr. Five Head McControl Freak to come back Tree Hill which he won’t do!
Of course he had no problem forcing her to tell him she loved him after like two months, a Shag, and Lucas Clone Speech! But now We are supposed to believe that Brooke is all "PLEASE COME BACK! PLEASE! I took one for the team and made you closet space even though you could be a mass murder!"
Meaning his head is in his BALLS and his Sack is the size of a shrunken Peanut! And that MARRY ME shit in the SAND... Is it wrong that I want whatever Syphilis type STD is eroding the Schwahn's brain ater having multiple Orges with Mouth, to finish him off!
SpEaking of MOUTH.... EWWWWW! I JUST POURED BLEACH IN MY FUCKING EYES TO RID AWAY THAT SICKENING IMAGE! I think i threw up at least half the length of my small and large intestine! NEVER, EVER, Have a seen something so crule and Vommiting induciing than a naked MONLEY on the Loose! YUCK! I’m sorry, but Mouth has that Me want Banana, Hairy, swing from trees thing going on.
I don't care if he wants Skillz out of theapartment so he can live with Milli or not! What if Skillz would have panicked and gone blind, taken a knife to his thraot because he though a mass murdering Monster was about to Rape him! UGH! Thats just NASTY!
And what sort of frend wants their BFF to move out... how about his sorry ass move out! EASY! UGH! We should all sue the CW for attempted Murder by Drop Dead Yuckiness! EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! I'm just fucking scarred for life!
But not to scarred to miss the BOOLian at Jamie's 7th birthday wish Cheese fest! So Jaime tells Brooke he is going to make a wish for her and himself and of course Brooke believe's Jamie wished for Julian. Honesly, I am trying to like them but the more I watch the more I keep hoping Brooke and Clayton run into each other! Hahaha! I know its wrong, but Clayton and Brooke seem like they would be SO SEXY, HOT, and FUN... the way Brulian would have been if Captain Dick-a-Pick, The Schwahn's new name, had to turned then into the could that shall not be named!
OH FUCK YEAH... its like they died Twenty years ago and everyone forgot them except Lucas Lame-ass basketball gift! Isn't Nate a professional B-Ball player with his own Card! Didn't Jaime put it up? So why in the hell would Jamie need a Basketball when we all know his Dad has them lying around the house! Hahaha, stupid OTH writers.
Anyway, I did think some of the Brulian was cute thought. But One thing I know is that Julian makes Brooke think about SEYTON...
I can't believe the Schwahn had Brooke Say People Always Leave...
I just bit the shit out of my tongue because of that shit!
Clayton so showed Nathan up with the actual Jerry Rice instead of the signed Jersey! And Brooke writing Jamie a Check for his birthday, I'm sorry but BROOKE & CLAYTON would be so GREAT!
Laughing my Mother Fucking Ass Off!
Nate and Clayton are the coolest friends! hahaha! Lucas Who? But I do not like Quinn and Clayton was asking Nate who is the HOT girl! Seriously, she has a husband and I know this show has not morals BUT Damn, I'd rather another Dog eat a random heart than this shit! But even sicker is the OTHER RANDOM GROUPIE and CLAYTON... I was hoping he would turn her away, but Mark has to ruin everything by making Clayton a user D-Bag!
And I know they are so gonna ruin the Clayton/Nathan Bromance over a something because this friendship is just too good! Hahahahaha! At first I was thinking: All this Clay & Nate, What the hell is Haley's storyline? She song for the first two minutes and ten WHAM! Nothing! Then ten minutes at the end and some Lady is trying to close down Haley's studio & Tric and Stuff!
HELL YEAH, a business STORYLINE! I love those sorts and I hope Mark doesn't FUCK it up by rushing it! I am loving this and HALEY! <3> Now if I could get some fucking BALEY! YES sir, I'd be STOKED! I don't want all this Haley Quinn but it is giving Haley some time to shine, But I fear the Prop Syndrom!
And finally it come full circle... Dan is on a talk show/tv show! HAHAHAHAH! CLASSIC!
So basically, I loved this First Episode other than the ridiculouslness & Can't wait for me Next Monday!
VIVA LA NEW OTH... no MORE dead weight!
What did you guys think about this episode?
-Toddian
3 comments:
Toddiannnnnnnn,
WE’RE BACKKK.Lol
Wow...so it kind of feels like season 6 AKA SHITFEST 2009 just ended yesterday and already we’ve just finished the very first episode of season 7. I actually pretty much liked it...I think a lot of it had to do with the fact that I didn’t find myself cringing every few minutes like I used in previous seasons every time PUKASS came on.
So damn...Sophia looked HOTT AS HELL. I love that woman. I’m one of those people who’s willing to sit through anything Mark throws at us regarding Brooke because I love the actress and the character SO damn much. B.Joy looked pretty too. As for the girl who plays her sister Quinn...I couldn’t stop staring at her nose...it freakin huge.Lol Especially when during that shot towards the end when Haley was hugging her....her nose looked gigantic. Lol
And I never really realized how hott Robert the guy who plays Clayton really was before. The guy is damn fine and there’s just something about him that kind of draws you in. And Nathan looked hott as usual. The guys got a sexy body and always has.
Now lets see...Dan...I don’t even know what to say about him at this point. All we know right now is that he miraculously ended up living despite the fact that he was supposed to die months ago...and I’m just gonna leave it at that...for now.
Now...Millicent doesn’t usually bother me but what the fuck was up with her in this episode??? Don’t fuckin tell me that Mark had Millicent put in charge of Clothes Over Bro’s now. And what? She’s giving orders to Victoria now? I’m still trying to figure out what the fuck crawled up Mark’s ass because that didn’t make any fuckin sense to me. And seriously, there’s only ONE Brooke Davis...the last thing I wanna see is Millicent try to pretend like she’s the new Brooke. I liked it better when she just kind of stood there and didn’t act like she was the biggest baddest boss around.
So I know that you hated the part where Mouth was naked because I know how much you hate the guy....but I actually kind of found it funny...maybe because I wasn’t looking directly at him when he was standing there naked.Lol Skillz reaction to it was funny though…..I really hope his character sticks around this season because he actually brings some comic relief to the show....but after that whole stealing social security numbers ordeal…who the fuck even knows whats gonna happen to Antwon aka Skillz.
Brulian doesn’t bother me at this point. Fact is, I just want Brooke to be happy. And if Julian makes her happy then so be it. Maybe I’ll end up changing my mind later on judging by the way there storyline goes, but for now I’m fine with them. I am and always will be a Brucas fan but seeing as how Mark royally fucked over every Brucas fan out there...we’re never gonna get them again. However....if Julian EVER hurts Brooke...he’s officially gonna go on my hate list and he can go straight to hell.
But I swear....if Mark has Brooke quoting PeytWhore all season long, I’m gonna throw a fuckin brick at his head.
So far I’m liking this season. But I’m scared that the newbies are gonna take over and have them overshadow Brooke, Haley, and Nathan. If Mark doesn’t wanna have a bunch of angry fans at his doorstep....he better not let the newbies and other characters that no one really gives two shits about like Chase, Mia(I know both of them will be coming back) along with Millicent and Mouth take over.
Like you said Toddian-----------VIVA LA NEW OTH... no MORE dead weight!
LOLLLLLLLL. Completely Agree.
--Jennifer
when dan was first on screen talking it reminded me of when he started the ep of midnight madness. he had that same face and voice. Then you find out it was a talk show. He was still so smug. He is alive you think he could be grateful or appreciative about it.
to funny millie was like brooke when s5 started. Acting like a big shot.
I thought jamie already knew why lucas had to quit b-ball. i guess they needed a way to still slip in something about lucas. Just like with brooke talking about peyton.
I agree i am and will ALWAYS be a BRUCAS fan first. But if brookes happy with julian than good for her. But Mark better not keep stealing brucas lines speeches or scenes for brulian. They need there own story not reused brucas stuff. What was up with the marry me the was never mentioned.
At first i wasnt sure i was going to like or even want to watch w/o CMM. But it looks like Mark reinvented the show its hotter and they are all more mature. its only the first ep. So I will have to see as the show goes on if I like it or not.
I hope the new cast doesnt get more time or take over though since its basically a new show.
I think that this is the best season ever. brooke and haley were amazing. I loved it all and the julian was the icing to the cake. did i miss peyton and lucas HELL NO thats what made the show amazing.
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