Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Hiatus... Obviously Wasn't Long Enough For This Show To Get A Clue!!!

Backstabbing best friend? Check! Oh fuck, is Seyton SwaySlut ScotTramp back to gang rape our poor eyes?

Assassination of Brooke Davis' character? Check!

Douches getting away with being assholes? Check!

Boring side characters getting more attention than we even care about? Check!

Crazy stalkers? Check- checkity, check check!!!

Well, looks like another epsiode of One Tree Hill to me.

Seriously, could this show get any fucking worse? She says as the whole world explodes1

Right from the very first scene, I knew my puke bucket was in order and some seriously strong alcohol was a must! Let's start with Brooke and Julian, seeing as this pathetic excuse for a romance was the first piece of garbage thrust into my face.


FUCKING GAG ME NOW!

What was with all the "boyfriend" name-calling?

Newsflash fashionista - that pet name died out season 3 when it didn't deserve to be used anymore, and although hand-me-down names and recycled scenes are Mark's thing, this was a major fucking screw up.

Did anyone else fire bullets at their screen when Brooke fawned over Julian like she was trying to make something up to him? Breakfast in bed? Are you fucking kidding me? Telling him how great his movie was going to be and how talented he was... again? Saying sorry - AGAIN?

I'm sorry, but Sophia Bush needs to accept that damn offer to join that sitcom on ABC because the assassination of Brooke Davis is now complete... I mean, damn Mark (To hell you dickless fucker)... I know you miss crazy Seyton and all, but turning a once fiesty, independent firecracker into this Julian-serving, ass-kissing doormat is just NOT Brooke Davis, and NOT good television.

UGH.

And don't even get me started on Brooke being the one to talk Julian into helping Alex... I don't want a fucking Saint Brooke after all the crap that big-headed bastard put Brooke through. FYI - Man with the biggest forehead in television history - WHERE IS THAT DAMN APOLOGY FOR BEING A BIG DOUCHE?

Oh that's right, it's floating somewhere down De-Nile with Mark's talent! It's time he dropped Alex like the dead weight she is. Seriously, if that hooker couldn't tell she was shagging a gay dude with all the men she's slept with, then she isn't worth the one million dollars people are extorting them for.

NEXT! Moving on to Clay and Quinn - fuck me!

I'll be the first to admit, I was so excited to see Robert Buckley in the role of Clay when it was first announced... my, my, my.. what a disappointment he turned out to be! Not only was his character boring as bat shit tonight, but his look never changed the entire show - deer in the headlights, anyone? And what is he trying to achieve by being male-anorexia's poster child?

I know Quinn is sucking the life out of him with her constant whining and pity-me status... but for fuck's sake, he looks like she has literally swallowed him.. where has he gone? Hello Clay... your bones would like their meat back, pronto! He looks fucking terrible! And then I had to endure Quinn maiking everything about her tonight and throwing in some "Mom" references so she could "bond" with Haley at ehr photography stuio that Mommy bought her?

SISTERLY bonding over that lame photo too? Quinn being deep and meaningful and full of talent... pffft... didn't buy it then and never will - not even if you sell it cheap in a 99 cent store. You fucking suck Quinn and your storyline with Clay and lame attempt at sympathy grabbing when you've had everything handed to you on a silver platter, failed to score you any points either. Pack up shop and fuck off back to the rock you crawled out from. Now, the Katie thing - seriously, another stalker? Excuse me while I yawn. Derek.

Carrie. Katie.... zzzzzzzzzz. She is HOT though! LOL

Why Mark had to ruin that brilliant chemistry between Clay and Sara by turning the actress into a nut-job is beyond me. I can only hope he redeems himself by having Katie kill Quinn and make the world a happier place. I doubt that would happen though, because these days One Tree Hill isn't about entertainment, it's about....

*insert reason for this bullshit here, cos I got nothing!*

What's next on this rollercoaster of crap?

oh right... Mouth! Mouth and rollecoaster in the same sentence. Don't you mean circus? Monkey face asshole!

Well, of all the sneaky, under-handed, backstabbing things to do... he goes and chucks a Seyton and decides to snake his best friend's girl! One would think that Mouth would see the impossibility of being with Lauren now his BEST friend is back, and simply have his back and stay the fuck away.. but no, once again Marky Mark was missing Seyton so damn much that he decided to add "best friend betrayal" to tonight's episode.

Sure, they tried to make it look like that little rodent as taking the high road when it came to the situation "I'll tell him cos he's my best friend." Interesting that you forgot that when you were sticking your tongue down Lauren's throat. Speaking of blonde sluts, Lauren is ridiculous - giving up on love and Skills for Mouth?

MOUTH - the most unattractive cockroach on the show! AMEN SISTER!

Skillz came home for you, you dumb bitch - gave up his life and what do you do? Oh right, repay him by running off with his best friend! If him giving up his life to be with you isn't love, then you deserve the scum-sucking rodent that seems to have not learned a thing about cheating on your friends from the whole farce that was Pucas. And then I have to see Skills drowning his sorrows at the bar with that loser guy who no one cares about and actually blaming himself? Oh fuck me - here comes the Brooke Davis train of ridiculous logic from season 4, where apparently friend's cheating on you is your fault!

FUCK YOU MARK SCHWAHN AND YOUR INANE LOGIC!

Jamie and Nathan. Boring. Seriously, father/son bonding is not something I give a shit about. Yeah, Nathan's a good dad. Yeah, he's a good husband. Yeah, he plays more home games than any basketball player I've ever seen. This is bullshit and I don't give a shit about it. Next!Grubbs and whats-her-name. Oh no, I have to leave the country cos I'm beinng deported... ever heard of checking your VISA you moron?

Oh no, that's right, you wouldn't have that kind of logic since you're only running a record label, and hey, if Seyton can do it, it must be as easy as playing with play dough. Grubbs proposed... and I skipped forward. Bottom line - I don't give a fuck about these stupid sideline characters. They're boring and useless and not worth the money they're being paid to make a shitty show even shittier!Finally, there was a Baley moment and Brooke told Haley about not being able to have kids - after Haley takes a random prego test that meant squat to the storyline.

Touching, but it took too damn long and it makes you wonder if these girlies are even BFFs at all?

Oh that's right, there's no time for Baley because Haley is too busy trying to prop Quinn, and Brooke is too busy trying to attach her lips to Julian's ass. Baley who, right Mark? Fucker.And then Haley having a mental breakdown over her Mom. She was weird all night, trying to put on a brave face, and then she falls apart in tears beside the pool when everyone else is in bed.

Suffer in silence type? Since fucking when? This storyline has lame written all over it and I can only hope that Mark does Bethany some justice and utilize her amazing talent before they waste another perfectly good opportunity steering this show down Suck Lane!So you may be wondering if there was anything I actually liked in this waste of an hour. Well, there was one thing, but only one.

VICTORIA DAVIS getting busted. Her reaction to Skills punching Mouth and basically telling the entire population that Mouth was after his girl, was as funny as hell!

Not only was her man half her age and half naked... I don't think anyone can say the word "sandalous" quite like Queen V! Well done! And well done on actually saying what a jerk Mouth was for doing such a thing. Sneaky little rodent. He belongs in the sewer with the rest of the rats!

So... overall? Yeah, this show still sucks monkey balls, and if the populous get their way, we're heading for another season of crap. All I can say is, run Sophia run... and save yourself from the pile of steaming shite that One Tree Hill has turned into. In my mind, this show ended season 3 because it was all downhill from there and it will never be able to recover.Well, that's it for me. Just keep in mind, if we cross our fingers and wish really hard...

only 3 episodes to go!

Later peeps,

Chrissy & Toddian

3 comments:

Casey said...

So, I managed to avoid the majority of the mess that is this show...but I did catch a little of it, unfortunately, and everything you've said sums up what I see and the rest sounds about right as well.

Victoria was the only redeeming quality;

and Sophia needs to run as fast as she can, while she still can

-Casey xXx

Jennifer said...

Hey Toddian and Chrissy,

So, can I just honestly express how much I've enjoyed these past few weeks without OTH?? There used to be a time when I would literally count down the minutes, the hours, the days when we would finally get a brand new episode. But that stopped happening the moment Mark started shoving PukeASS down out throats in season 4 thereby, CRUSHING every Brucas fan out there.

Yet to this day, some of us still can't stop watching this crapfest. One might say its because we're crazy. And maybe we are. But I say fuck everything and everyone.......why? Because if it wasn't for our favorite beloved actress, we would've stopped watching this shit a LONG ass time ago.....I know I would've stopped. Plus, this show has become a bad habit.....almost like a drug. You know it drives you crazy and pisses you off and you know it isn't good for you seeing as how this show manages to piss us off every single time(along with many other people I know who still watch it for one reason or another), yet we still can't let it go.

I'm one of those people who when she starts something....I just HAVE to finish it no matter how much I dislike it or no matter how much it kills me. I don't leave things in between or halfway. So for the fucking loser who is always stalking our ass's and "laughing" at how we hate OTH and yet we still watch it. This is EXACTLY one of the reasons WHY. I've been watching this show since season 1(back when this show actually made SENSE and used to be good until it went straight to hell) and so I'm gonna see it to the end even if I fucking HATE it now. And even with the addition of these new, useless characters that most people don't give two shits about. So I can only pray that the CW comes to its senses and finally kicks this show out on its ass and we can finally kiss it GOOD-BYE for good.

So now as for the episode.....I'm not going to get too much into it seeing as how I was doing three other things at the same time and so didn't pay attention to everything going on. I did, however, notice when Brooke called Julian "boyfriend." Was I surprised?? HELL NO. I stopped being surprised back in season 6 when Lucas(in the episode that CMM wrote) decided to call Peyton "pretty girl." So it didn't really shock me when Mark decided to have Brooke call Julian "boyfriend." Mark has been DESPERATELY trying to overwrite Brucas since season 4 to make PukeASS look good and believable, so I'm never surprised when the fucking douchebag throws this kind of horse shit in our faces.

As for the most dreadful and cringe worthy couple on the show AKA Clay and Quinn......seriously will someone please fucking shoot them or something??!! And I agree about Robert looking really thin. He used to look absolutely fine up until several weeks ago when he started to look like nothing but a huge pile of bones. I don't know what's happening to him and I'm not even going to bother wondering. Maybe Quinn and the actress who plays Quinn has been slowly sucking the life out of the poor guy. How and why she became an actress....I guess I will never know. She is SO fucking talent less and watching her deliver her lines makes me wanna throw something at my tv. I used to love Clay before he decided he was "in love" with this Quinn bitch.

Every time I fucking look at Quinn I want to run Mark over with an 18 wheeler or something for choosing that dumb bitch to play the role of Quinn instead of choosing the woman who played Sara and now Katie to be Quinn because unlike the actress who plays Quinn, this chick actually KNOWS how to act and looks good when doing so.

Jennifer said...

And this whole Mouth, Lauren, Skillz drama......seriously......are the writers really running out of even remotely interesting material to work with?? Oh wait.... they are because they SUCK. So I don't understand why the fuckers still want OTH to come back for a season 8 when its clear as day that all of them are retarded and wouldn't know what the word "interesting" means even if it bit them in the ass.

Jamie and Nathan—Boringggggg. Enough said.

As for the Baley scene. Now that should make me happy. But seeing as how it took Mark SOOO fucking long for Brooke to be able to tell Haley her devastating news, it all just went right over my head. Seriously, what the fuck!? These girls are supposed to be best friends and yet they barely talk to one another.....especially when it comes to the most important things. Why the fuck does Mark suck balls when it comes to writing relationships and friendships?? This man should NEVER be allowed to write for another fucking show ever again.

As for the Victoria Davis part being the best moment in the entire episode, I definitely agree. I couldn't stop laughing at the way she handled herself and the situation after Skillz punched Mouth and uncovered Victoria making out with Alexander. That was the only moment worth watching.

All in all....................OTH NEEDS TO END AND NOW. JUST PLEASE PUT IT OUT OF ITS
FUCKING MISERYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!