Wow, this Episode was EPIC…
As in an Epic Pile of Horse Pooh That Is The PucAble Man-Whore Alliance!
Oh, Mark Schwahnny Schwahn…. You Dubious, duplicitous Scum Bag, Had me all Excited for the prospect of No More One Puke Hill, then you turn around and make those losers the main focus of the episode! Oh Gag a shit bag and cover my head with it you cretin! What the fuck was all The Pucas- And furthermore, Why didn’t I care?
I think I turned Emo for the Past Hour.
Watching Pucas… I became suicidal. I mean seriously, My body wanted to upchuck so bad that it sucked up a ball of shit from my colon, went through my stomach, and rested in my esophagus. I litterally want to put my truck in gear, place a brick on the gas pedal, stand in front of my truck, and get ran over. Just so I can squash the puke in my throat from watching that epic Pile of Disgust.
Who does that asshole writer think he is fooling. How unbelievably Ridiculous is His Logic is To think we Believe that Baby Seyton, the Biggest Stomach Cramp of the Century since Lupus fucked up my Organs, to die…
1. Am I to believe that you would kill the Epicness of the first TELEVISED TRANSVISITE PREGNANCY!
Seriously, How much More Epic can you get than watching two dudes have a kid together that actually has both their DNA… Are You kidding me, Ha-ha! That SPAWNage is not going anywhere as long as LucASS the womanly Man-WHORE and PeytWhore the Lamppost sized SHIM (She/him) still have their Loyal Followers of Dumbshit Pukers & of course, the KING of STD Crab Infestation-Like Living Mark Schwan: currently residing in that Chick who plays Peyton’s Ass Hairs!
2. The Omen, The Exorcist… um, the Anti-Christ Always Lives To Cause DESTRUCTION in the lives of poor Souls until the end of the show or movie….
SO, I’m betting Lucas, the Mentally Stagnant, Get A Squint-Buy A Squint, so emotionless that my acting has been compared to a Shit-turd floating from Flavor Flav’s Anus’ sperm donator & the egg of Seyton, the unlovable, pity party throwing, Man-Beast that might or might not have cunt (it’s debatable since CMM apparently hasn’t been turned on by the Shim since season 1. And apparently he’ll shag anything ie Paris Hilton…)
LOL, Come on people, tell me that every time that man is in a scene he doesn’t develop Epilepsy. That man has gotten more Fucking sleep in the daytime at work than Dracula or either he comes to work extremely drunk.
Yeah, I’ve been wasted a time or two and it does make the Fugly ones look HOT, so maybe that’s how he tolerates working with Leerch From the Adam’s Family Twin sister! You know, dead expressionless face, bug eyed, deer in headlights, three Hours of staring off into a flashback only to recall how much of Damn Desperate Fool You are, and trying to Gain Sympathy by making Video’s about how you don’t want to leave, so you cam ruin the season that isn’t even over yet…
Oh wait, that’s the real actress!
LOL, is she related to the OCTOMOM by any chance? You know, begging for sympathy every chance she gets, because as much a I think those babies deserve help and would give the shirt off my back, what does that have to do with the OCTOMOM getting a makeover and more collagen in her lips. Um, how about a JOB lady and stop having kids that you can’t take care of, cause those babies don’t deserve to live in destitution.
But I digress, the Spawnage will hatch the reptilian Demon imp just in time for the Bride of Frankstein’s Ugly Anorexic Step-sister to marry Sir Douche-bag, La Unemployment, Indecisive, Eugene Really Don’t Want this Whore But Nobody else Including Mouth would have me, McUber-Snore Scott! Mark my words people, Mark -a-Dork SchwASS will breed the EPICNESS of shit stain Undies & misfired Sperm shots….
The watching Mouth the Apeman Come to life, I discovered that I really am Epileptic! Seriously, What the fuck is with the Mutation between an ape, a rat, and a buzzard- A Pesky time stealer that sucks the life out of any and everything. Who cares about Millie, her leaving for NYC, Mouth and his LUCAS SCOTT SPEECHES!
I swear OTH comes a Douche Bag A Dozen, HUH? I mean, they are even starting to look alike- Fusion Mucas… Ow, A New Couple Name for Mouth and Lucas, both bottom feeding waste of oxygen! I turned the Channel when I realized this was the Pucas/Assface Mouth show!
But once I turned back, I felt slightly Bored- Naley! What the Fuck! Haley, listen to Nathan and get out of that fucking Town while your still hot and Lucas the Woman Molesting ManWhore hasn’t hit on you yet! He might use the squint POWER to trap you too! Zombie eyed Fucking, Dead Voiced Freak!
I wanted Naley to have hot sex in the Charleston House Haley borrowed, but we didn’t get a love scene or anything. Just talk and BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, & blah…
Dan and Deb disappointed me! I was waiting for a knock down drag out, but we got a fucking shake and too much boobage from DEB… No fucking thank you!
BRULIAN WERE THE BEST & ONLY REASON TO WATCH!
Julian loves Brooke, and though I thought it was rushed, I found myself wanting Brooke to say it back! Poor Julian looked like he had been hit by a mac truck, and I feel his pain. I’ve said the big three words and have been dumped before. At least Brooke pulled a PEYTWHORE with a someday, right?
But I see what Mark the Dork is doing- there goes those BL BONES again! He thinks he is SMART, but people are getting over the unemployed Loser that is Lucas…. I still shall never Like PUCAS because they are every sin in the world mixed with all the urine and shit and maggots in the world!
Now, Damn it, I cried like a 15 year old boy in prison taking on up his ass! Okay, horrible analogy, but that made me a BRJU fan AGAIN…. What the Fuck is with the Brooke might still love that squinty eyed, pig snout nosed, son of a bitch Lucas! She doesn’t want his ass, she’s just afraid to be hurt!
I don’t blame her because Lucas pretended to be a good guy when he was really a Pile of Horse shit mixed with Satan’s semen!
The guys a joke, and I can admit as a straight dude that the guy was always a Pretty Boy, But he grew until an unattractive wolf man with horrible facial hair and Hobbo clothes. Eww, where is the wardrobe department shopping? Are they the one attacking all these homeless people so that they can steal their Clothing! YUCK!
But of course, back to the PUCAS!
Then the Spawn of Pucas Will arise to destroy all human life through the inherited Evil genes of his parents, POWER OF….*…….*…….*…..* ….*…….*…….*…..* ….*…….*…….*…..* ….*…….*…….*…..* ….*…….*…….*…..*
EMO WHINE Arsenic …
The poisonous Beverage to Ruin Any Normal Persons Day! Use Only on special Occasions like:
a) When your supposed BFF gets robbed & gets her Ass Beat Down worst that Rihanna after Chris Brown found out Wrigley’s Gum dropped his Happy Feet Dancing , Micheal Jackson wanna be Punk, Pussy Ass. All because you want to do is whine about how your parents actually loved you, but aren’t your blood! Seriously, adopted people don’t all whine like crazy nuts….
Now, when my mom lift my prick of a father, my step dad adopted us, but you don’t see me on the streets twirling around like some Heroin injected druggie screaming: I Just want to be loved! If this show was any more of a joke- and it is a joke- someone would have rode up in a truck with a two barreled shotgun and blasted that nut off that bridge. Take LucASShole with her.
b) When your alcoholic father tells you that he gave you to the best home you could have ever had and still loved you enough to eventually find you. But you haven’t had you annual Pity party to make people loathe your existence for loosing your backbone in season 1.
c) When you drive Lucas Scott or any guy into full blown schizophrenia because you have driven him crazy by taking away everything he loves. When, after years of ruining his relationships and losing the woman he was in love with, which just happens to be your best friend that you drove away, the poor guy finally had a metal breakdown.
How else do you explain him slipped away from reality into a magical world where leaves falling - like they do all over the world, means you should be together. Where you just don’t know what your heart wants until the Love Doctor Skillz (take in mind his WONDERFUL*sense the sarcasm there, huh?* relationship choices: Bevin left his ass for TIM, seriously Dim Tim, the guy who crapped in a golf hole! Deb is like watching a shriveled up snail dry hump a rock) tells him that he chooses to save Peyton For DING DING DING! LOVE?
Lucas was like, “ WHAT THE FUCK, THAT DOESN’T MAKE ANY SENSE, BUT OH WELL, I HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE OR GAIN FROM THIS SO, PEYTON CAN BE THE ONE TODAY, BUT TOMORROW MORE WOMEN TO COMMIT FRAUD AGAINST, SO LITTLE TIME..”
And Skillz, other river court guys who aren’t worthy of the Epicness of the Raven’s book, were like, “Huh, duh! That’s the only reason to help someone when you could just let them die. You want to bang them!”
I guess all the firefighters and Soldiers in the army want to get laid with Victims too.. Yeah, that must be it Skillz! Not because you’re a good person or anything- NO WAY, people don’t SAVE their friends without secretly wanting a little nookie! Gees, I hope nobody saves that dog stuck in a well or that little baby that fell down their too. Somebody might want to Practice Bestiality or Pedophilia- WHAT A FUCKING DOUCHE BAG MORON!
Ingredients to Emo Whine:
Evil SHIM WHORE’s tears of Pity Parties.
Spittle from the Mouth Hanging Open like a Rabbi Chimpanzee Face while lying face to face.
Mace-well the mace I have tried to blind myself with whenever the Ambiguously Slutty McSlutbag Blonde Duo waste screen time.
liquid Nitrogen- you know the chemical you attempt swallow just so you can pass out from the nightmares of Chimp Face Peyton and her Freaky Bug eyes.
The cum/semen/ whatever you want to call the stuff that Mark Schwan produces after excessive jerking off to the point of Cock Carpal Tunnel while staring at JEYTON Love scenes & Pucas Cheat Scenes of Epic Disgust and pretending to be Jake & Lucas!
-Todd
3 comments:
I am thinking that my favorite part of OTH these days is reading your blogs. I think half the time I just keep watching so I can know what you're talking about in your blog. LOL And the other half I am hoping for a Brooke scene, and instead I have the incest twins shoved in my face. Seriously, CMM's acting is getting worse with each show. I find myself hoping for the best for him, but always being disappointed. He did a lot better when he was acting besides SB instead of HB. HB just brings out the ugly in him. But, really, how else are you supposed to respond to *open mouthed stick a dick in my mouth* acting? OH yeah, squinty eyes blank stare! That's how! How could I forget? Sense the sarcasm? Something I'm really good at by the way.
I love Dan. Don't know why, but I really do. IN fact, I am hoping he gets this new heart, recovers, and kills everyone in Tree Hill except for Brooke and Jamie, and sometimes Nathan...when he's not boring the hell out of me with Haley. I mean, I used to LOVE Haley, but now I can barely stand sitting through her scenes. And I mean, really? She didn't tell her husband for a few WEEKS that she got suspended from her job?! Her HUSBAND?! How convenient was that for the show? First I was like, um, how does a TEACHER work only PART TIME? Unless they're a substitute...and then she told him about the suspension thing, and I just rolled my eyes. Was Mark like, okay, I know, I'll have Haley ABANDON all of her STUDENTS so that I can give the show another boring ass storyline?! We already KNOW that Naley is strong, why does he have to keep REPEATING it?! Naley is getting almost as boring as PucASS. ALMOST. At least I don't eel like slitting my wrists while I watch Naley.
And Mouth and MILLIE?! WHO CARES! Millie, for one, can do SO MUCH better than that dumbass more boring than Lucas Mouth! REALLY!!?? Why is Mark trying to make Mouth look like a freakin saint?! He was flirting and shit with Gigi, and so they broke up, Millie got DRUNK, and slept with Owen! BOO freakin HOO! Mouth! It was HER virginity, not HIS! Anyway, enough about that, because I can go on long tangents about why Mouth sucks.
I'm thinking Jamie isn't on the screen as much as he should be. I need some Jamie/Dan time. Screw Deb. Who watches their grandson with their fucking boobs hanging out?!? If that was my mom watching MY kid, I'd tell her to cover her shit up because NO ONE wants to see it! Granny Deb is right! YUCK! And where the hell is Karen?!
OKay, lets get on to the Pucass bullshit. Was I the only one that was like DIE BITCH! When she fell to the floor clutching her stomach? I mean, I seriously yelled it. Crazy? Maybe. So basically all their scenes were was a bunch of Peyton crying...again. Oh! And our love is epic, and destiny, and a piece of a really big pile of hot steaming smelly dog POO! OUr loved survived cheating, bullet wounds and PSYCHOS?! Really! Thats when Lucas needs to be a man and say, wait a minute, I was in love with someone else during two of those times! Or at least, he said he was. I'm not sure. Because back then, he at least LOOKED like he was interested. Now, I'm not so sure. BUt really, Mark finds NEW ways to spit on us each week, doesn't he? This week it was "Let's pretend like Lucas and Peyton have been in love for all 6 seasons." Lets forget about Brooke and Jake and Lindsey and Julian and whoever else along the way. And THEN she even tried to use some Jake Jagielski in there! WHAT THE HELL?! NOw we're pretending like THAT never happened? Go figure. So who is hoping that Peyton dies during birth and that Lucas commits suicide afterwards? Raise your hands! I can't raise a kid without you whine whine whine...How can I care for a kid that took you away from me whine whine whine. I mean, has he forgotten that like 6 months ago he didn't even like Peyton? Man, what is MArk doing to OUR Lucas! It's not like he's even growing up and getting more mature, he's getting DUMBER! If I was a Pucass fan, which I will never ever be, I would be pissed. Because all this epic love they talk about never happened. It's all a bunch of steaming piles of shit molded together to look good. And it stinks REALLY BAD! It's like season 6 is a bunch of stories made up to look like Pucass was together all along. Like we've forgotten what has actually happened on the show. But, lets remind weasel faced Mark that WE'LL NEVER FORGET THE REAL EPIC LOVE STORY! Even though he's turned it into a piece of shit pucass steps in whenever they get the chance.
Okay, moving on. I HATE that Mark always seems to make it look like Brooke is still in love with Lucas. I mean, I get that Julian probably has some issues when it comes to his woman leaving him for Lucas, but come on. He's gotta see what an asswhipe Lucas is. AND how much better BROOKE is than Peyton and LUCAS. That's all I have to say about that. *Direct Forrest Gump quote*
So, I am blaming all of my Brucas troubles on CMM for being a disease infested whore and cheating on SB with herpes filled Paris Hilton. I mean, REALLY?! Paris HIlton?! *barfs all over the floor* Hmmm...I have Sophi Bush as my wife, one of the most beautiful women to EVER grace the planet, but I think I'm going to sleep with Paris HIlton, why? Because I'm a disease seeking whore who screws dumbass blonds. OH! And then I will become a pedophile and get engaged to a seventeen yr old! I think he outed James and Sophia on purpose. The spiteful bastard! And now he's probably disliked by James and Sophia, because it was THEIR business to tell, and now he HAS to leave the show. At least in my pretend world James beats the crap out of him. Go JAMES!
OH! And I find all of those posts from the PUcASSer HILARIOUS! Keep them coming! Because it gayour tve me a good laugh. BEcause I really do read all of your blogs, but sometimes I'm too lazy to reply. HORRIBLE! I know! But it's not always laziness. Sometimes I really do get busy...You know what they say about excuses, right? HA HA
And damn, MED SCHOOL?! DAMN! I'm in nursing school right now and it's killing me! BUt, med school? I feel for you, Todd! Good luck!
OH! Your thing about Sophia being the next best thing sinc Brett Favre...LOVED IT! How can someone NOT love Brett Favre?! I get mad at the Favre haters, and I'll tell them whats up...but, DAMN. I'm going to miss him...Hell, I could watch him play ANYTHING. Maybe he'll pull a MJ and go to baseball...Doubtful! But, I'm keeping my fingers crossed! I was a Packer fan until they screwed Favre, then I became a Brett Favre fan. I guess I was all along. Except way back when Antonio Freeman was there...That man could take a HIT! I LOVED him. ANYWAY! Enough on that. I think I've written enough.
Can't wait till next blog!
broodyprettygirl
Lindsay
Oh, and
About the Brulian scene, I personally thougth it was well done. We're looking at it from the wrong angle, when a brooke fan watch the scene: we all think that Mark is screwing another potential wonderfull relationship of Brooke (Owen, Chase and Julian (guys who really loved her)). If you look at it from a distant, you'll could see that subtly Mark has been bashing Pucas relationship the whole season and Peyton since season 4 (how she treated Brooke after she was in the wrong the whole time) till 5 (library scene!). He's showing us their true colours, that they're nothing but selfish and hypocrites. And Brulian is a consequence, Julian would always feel threaten by Lucas after how Peyton treated him. Brooke, she couldn't say the three words because Julian has showed that is different from Lucas because like Lucas he only had words not much action. And always throwing the fact that she was easy, doesn't help his cause. It doesn't matter that he's great with Sam and helped her when Sam was missing, remember Angie, Julian was too much like Luke. That fact will always scare Brooke, she isn't in love with Lucas. Lucas damaged her beyond repair. I'm happy how they ended their relationship. (Brulian)
We're all thinking why isn't Pucas getting sweet taste from karma. It's just the fact that evil people always get away with things (Dan, Peyton, Lucas) and good people always suffer (Brooke) in life.
Spoiler: I think that Pucas will join Karen after their wedding (she'll lose the baby) and Victoria will try to get Brooke in the company, but she'll refuse. Next season, old charachters will return to replace Pucas. Like Rachel and maybe Jake, with Rachel coming back I think she and Brooke will start a new line after she prove to Brooke that she didn't steal the money.
Until Next Week.......
Priscilla
The pucas scenes i wanted to throw up at. It was so sickly sweet. True there is only so much pucas we can take. Since mark love peyton so much he should call the show peyton hill. I was hope for something more devastating to be wrong. i do think she is being selfish. She could die and so could the baby.
Yeah if they both die that would be her way of leaving the show.
i agree with you "you could tell he was really trying very fucking hard to make it look real". i dont think hes happy being with her.
One minute CMM would look dead and the next minute he would try to convey some sort of emotion. i think CMMs acting is kinda bad b/c of the pucas story lines. He was so much better when he was with BROOKE. Everything was real and believe when it was brucas.
If I was a Pucass fan, which I will never ever be, I would be pissed. Because all this epic love they talk about never happened. I agree. Brooke was lucke FIRST and markass seems to forget that and pretty much everything brucas realted.
Naley if they did move then out of the core 5 brooke would be the only one left in tree hill since leyon are leaving the show. And whAT would be the point calling it one tree hill. I hope haley does go back on tour though.
Brulian I will always be a die hard BRUCAS fan but it over. He loves her so much. It understandable that she cant say i love you back. It is to soon in the relationship for her and they did/are moving so fast. As for him using work as an excuse for leaving that was wrong. So what she has pictures of her and lucas with angie and others. She has picture of ALL of her friends on there. Just like they all do. I am sure luke has the same picture but you dont see peyton getting all mad. When he asked her if she still loved luke and didnt answer I am sure they both will always love each in a way. He has no right to be mad like brooke said he did also come back to get peyton back. So he has no right to act the way he did.
Brooke and Lucas will alway love each in some way but they have new loves know and are happy. They wouldnt go after each anymore. i mean come on when was the last time they had a really good scene together(almost loving each other). ahh When they were with angie. And that was so long ago. So julian shouldnt be worried about her feelings about luke they are only friendly. Do i wish they could be together yes but it not going to happen. If CMM and peyotn werent leaving so how it could happen. Look at if you ever watched the show in the original beverly hills 909210 how many times the changed partners. It was a hell of alot more than here. Plus they had 2 love triagles and 2 of the 3 were the same couple both times.
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