Anyone who watches OTH is aware that The writers -Mark ASSchawn & Now Chad Michael “Needs some Mother Fucking acting lessons in a hurry” Murray!- Seem to have had the talent and life sucked out of their Worthless ASSes with a Damn turkey baster by way of their Large and Hairy Assholes somewhere along the way! And some how they have managed to take that SHIT incrusted talent, throw it on a screenplay, and push this bullshit out on all us poor, supportive, abused fans!
Cause Holy Fucking hell Those two Pricks must they live by the Motto:
THERE IS MORE THAN ONE WAY TO SUCK ASS IN SHOWBIZ!
Damn, it’s like those dumb fucks are so tired of working that they would rather RUIN the ENTIRE SHOW just to alienate Fans… Say what you Will people, but this show Blows more Ass Chunks and Dick than Peyton when she tried to seduce LucASS with those weird freaky spider legs and big Scary, Googly, hallowed out Bug Eyes !
Seriously, In what possible way can CMM rationalize this Piss-Ass Nasty Episode of Preverbal Filthy and Gag- worthy Puke-ASS obsessed boredom as being a mixture of all the previous seasons? I mean, Just when we think his character is so boring that he could and should be replaced with a Fucking corpse, he proves once again that being A NO TALENT ASS-WIPE is a Forte!
See, Not everyone has the skill to be a monotone, dead in the face, squinty eyed douche bag! No…No… It takes a lot of Random Years of being Forced… No Doubt Mark is holding an AK 47, 9 millimeter Glock or a Double Barreled Shotgun to his head…To act as one part of the Most Ugly, Contrived, Please give me a reason to become Man-o-rexic because I have Puked, gagged, thrown up and contemplated suicide after watching, a.k.a. MAN-WHORE ONE & MAN-WHORE 2 (The more I look at this show, the more I am positive that Peyton is really Smeagle from Lord of the Rings! See above picture!) …
I mean come on, they have the same eyes…? Ha-ha, that was really a spiteful thing to do, but take it in good humor! When you have to witness pathetic-ness that is the character of Peyton Sawyer, you eventually just get sick of it.
Anyway, On to the ridiculousness of this show! What the hell!
Lets See, ways to achieve Showbiz Suckery:
A) 1940’s Plot-less SHITTY Randomness without a Damn Cause! Somebody buy a FUCKING gun and shove it down my throat so I can keep the chunks from escaping! The only Reason for this Show is To PIMP the EVER so LIFELESS Couple PUKE-ASS!
B) Make sure The Most hated and sickly looking woman on the show is the lead! Why Is it that Dan even has Peyton…slash… guardian… daughter… as Arm Candy?
Again… Smeagle… Really? I think she hypnotizes people with those Wombat Puss Eyes! Even Dan has better Taste! He may As well have put a Fucking Broom stick on his arm and walked around! Throw a mop head on the end of that broom stick and we Have PeytWHORE! Why Is Julian working for Dan? And why didn’t he jam that Sharp Jagged glass into Lucas Greasy Pimple Shaped Head! Damn!
Probably because he would bled Lies and brown stank-ass shit… otherwise know as feses!
C) *CUE cheesy MUSIC! And infamous Monkey faced squint!* BUY SOME FUCKING GLASSES YOU POOR SON OF A BITCH! And what is with the weird accents, Gees, you vapid waste of space, just act!
D) Cue unnecessary DRAMA! Oh beat up Skillz and Owen while rat Bastard Mouth watches because he is A SCARY, NOISY, Unnecessary character that gets too much air time! I so wanted Mouth to die, and cheered once he was pushed in that water! Finally… the flying monkey sleeps with the fishes!
But still, I don’t get the randomness. At least the relationships could be established instead of Luc-ASS speaking one line and everybody remembering what is supposed to happen. Cause all I know Skillz was playing the Piano and Dan killed Keith for no real GIVEN reason?! And decided to attack everybody because…? I’m drawing a blank?
Why kill everybody when he could just burn down the club? Why kill Keith? And then Lucas whips out a gun and shots Julian because…? He wants to take Peyton...? where are the police? This is the most thoughtless, played out, blatant disrespect of Casablanca I have ever seen! That asshole!
But They have 3 Great things about this show!
I’m tried of the subtle bashing that Mark thinks is happening while Brucas fans sit idly by continue to watch because we are being want to see Sophia BUSH! I’m telling you, once Pucas Have a little Brat, I’m running as fast as possible to the nearest network and watching some action!
But I suppose Anything is better than the Disappearing Bull SHIT act Mark has been trying to pull over OUR EYE! Fucking PUSSY!
&
2) Of course we have Nathan & Haley… sorry, still a bit boring! They met after two seconds and he wants to marry her? No real storyline… I think Mark said: “just have them Kiss Chad-ASS so we can focus on the worse love story ever!” Because we all want to Watch CMM Over act and the actress who plays Peyton act like a Damn fool!
A Damn FOOL! What sort of Acting is this bitch doing? Since when has Peyton been the floating around type of character, dancing in the rain and on bridges. But thank you Dan for PUNCHING THE SHIT OUT OF HER! Now if he could kick Lucas in the throat so he can stop speaking in that annoying fake ass accent, I’ll be Happy!
3) Then One Beautiful, fantastic thing Happened! Peyton got SHOT! THEY KNOW WHAT FANS WANT! Kill that bitch, and if Lucas could have been behind her, the bullet went through her and then hit him! WooHoo! I would have nominated CMM for a Screen Actor’s Guild Award! Kill off two WHORES IN ONE NIGHT!
Anyway… celebration time! Todd gets up and does the Charleston singing:
“Ding Dong
The Bitch is dead!
Which Bitch?
The PeytWHORE Bitch!
Ding Dong the wicked bitch is dead!
Break down now…
(Insert rapping voice!)
Boom! Boom! Schick shtick!
The Beetoch is Dead!
Shot in the stomach
‘cause she make’s us all
want to vomit!
Boyfriend stealing,
backstabbing Ho
How many Fans they made happy
Mark will never know!
Hope she burns in Seven thousand fires of Hell
Hope Dan never ends up in jail!
Give him an award for Doing this deed
Feel sorry for Lucas
No more PeytWhore on her knees
PLEASE…
Meercat Boggling Eyes
and anorexic legs!
Ding Dong, ding Dong!
The Bitch is dead!”
And LUCAS CALLED PEYTON PRETTY GIRL TONIGHT! I JUST QUIT THE SHOW!
Goodbye GUYS & Much Love ,
Goodbye GUYS & Much Love ,
You guys were the greatest!
-Toddian
6 comments:
Your blog is sooo right. One tree hill is like getting so horrible. And peyton and lucas are the storyline . Like hello has mark forgotten about the other characters. But your blog's completely rite . And you know what bugs me the most that lucas called peyton " Pretty Girl".. now that was low.. Only soemone as beautiful as brooke deserves that name. anyways good review . Keep doing it cas when i finish watching oth I come to see what you think about and lets just say you and me always have the same opions..
No Todd please don't quit. I was suffering tonight and the only mantra that I'm rambling is 'Todd gonna make it okay' ...hihi... seriously man please don't. I hate it as well but I'm not surprise that the show gonna turn out suck as hell cos I already expecting it (dahh..just look who wrote it). For me that's low of him to portray Brooke like that. Every time Brooke offer herself to him I keep screaming 'IN YOUR DREAM A$$HOLE, IN YOUR DREAM'. Brooke is a saint in OTH real life and how dare he resemble Brooke the same as the backstabber whore.She'll never do that, LucASS, unlike you and your whore, she's a human being with moral.
The cheesy whores scenes make me puke a little in my mouth(I'm not kiddin') When the b!tch spinning at the bridges I just want to kick her a$$ to the water.
I'm glad I'm not a Brucaser anymore cos' I find LucAss become uglier every weeks. Thank God Sophia doesn't take his slutty a$$.(I think that's why he so bitter while writing Brooke character)
Same goes to the Peytwhore, what's up with that hair? How many rabbits have to die to make her hair look like that? And that eyes..ooouuuhhh(shivering) it's scary...and Hilarie acting is soooo horrible and fake(almost same as Chad level)
The only convincing acting I've seen was Dan and Brooke, other than that just cheesy and sh!tty. Naley acting wasn't so bad but the s/l suck(again, not suprise)
Overall the shows is sh!tty as I expected and I'm counting till the end(left another 13 suck episode I suppose).
Ohh, Soph...I put a lot of effort to watch this One Down Hill for you, girl.
You must stay strong too Todd, who know the show might get some sense and the twin whores might produce the Gollum baby. I FLOVE the banner but I think Gollum must be offended that you compare him to the Peytwhore lol.
Ohhh...I didn't put it earlier, I fu*king love the song man. It's so meaningful and true.
If you not gonna watch the show anymore, please don't stop ranting and make all the creative stuff like this k.
I agree with the pretty girl. At first I really thougght it was Brooke. i was so happy, then it turned out to be peyslut. How in the f***ingworld can mark let Lucas call Peyslut the nickname for brooke. That was Brucass thing. It was so so wrong. We he have Lucas call peywhore Cherry too. Because she is far from being a pretty girl or cherry. And theend I hope to god she is not pregant. If that happens I donyt think iwill be able to watch the show anymore.
First off you are the truth. I couldn't wait to read what you thought of this boring ass episode. Now i was truly the happiest person when peyton got shot and the bitch died. I couldn;t beloieve they did it but I was still happy as hell. THen when lucas dumb ass wake the bitch get a pain in her side. Now i'm thinking "are they relly gone kill this bitch cuz i'm tired of her ass". Really hope they give her the boot
What they did to brooke's character was something that i really did not like. THey made her look like a jealous, spiteful bitch. Then they had her looking like a bum too. I was kind of hoping she would shot lucas ass. that happeneing and peyton died would have easily made this my favorite episode.
Last but not least, Dan is the muthafuckn man. I love Dan so much even though he slapped the ba Jesus out of Brooke. I was tripping when he hit peyton.
The acting with the accents was atrocious seriously. lucas and were the only ones with them dumbass accents and they da only ones that sounded retarded.I will leave naley alone cuz like you said it was boring and rushed and slightly unwanted.
Toddian like i said you are the truth. You tell it like it t i is. Keep it up cuz i like knowing that i aint the only one who wants to murk mark ass. Twisms AC
Toddian....I just wanna start off by saying that I love you and your "One Shit Hill" reviews as always.
Now I wanna start off by pointing out the fact that God knows....I have literally DESPISED so many episodes of OTH s far that's its actually kinda sad as to why I still keep on watching it......oh wait.....because of SOPHIA BUSH who is the ONLY person WORTH watching this atrocious shit they call a show.
But I have NEVER been so pissed off like literally two seconds into the show ever before. Last night was a new world record. The second Lucas called that Peyton bitch "pretty girl" I almost broke my television in half. What the fuck was that???????????? EVERYONE knows that "pretty girl" is a NICKNAME that Lucas gave BROOKE in season 3 and that has NEVER changed!!!!!!!!
It pisses me off so fuckin much that these fucking writers are literally rewriting Brucas' entire history to make it seem like Pucas are an "epic love story" when the REAL truth is that they are the most DISGUSTING and REPULSING couple to have ever been on tv.
Seriously- WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH CHAD and MARK??????? They are literally the worlds biggest assholes. I was so ANGRY throughout the entire episode last night. Everytime I saw Chad/Lucas face and Hilary/Peytons face last night, I just wanted to punch them both square in the face.
Mark is the MOST disrespectful writer in the entire world. He knows that there are SO many Brucas fans who watch this show but he continues to treat us like trash. Its NOT fair because the funny thing is that NO ONE ever gave a shit about this show....not the CW and not the others. Do you see the way Gossip Girl gets promoted like crazy??? Well that was NEVER done for OTH. There were so many times that this show almost literally got the axe.....but it was the FANS who've made it survive as long as it has and thats a FACT. And the saddest thing is that Mark is literally treating a majority of these fans like shit. He doesn't care anymore.....he always wanted Pucas and he got his Pucas. He probably thinks the fans can all go to hell now. I have absolutely NO respect for this man at all. I simply HATE him for what he has done to the Brucas fan base OVER and OVER again.
CMM sucked ass as usual last night. Most of his scenes literally made me cringe. What the fuck is up with his acting??? It wasn't believable at all....and he looked like a fucking emotionless zombie.
And Peyton was ugly and annoying as usual. Honestly, I think Hilary did an AWFUL job of "acting" in that episode. Her accent was annoying.....and seeing as how she's from the south, you'd think she'd know how to make it sound real but NO......that didn't happen. And her scenes came across as so FAKE and STUPID. When Peyton was spinning on that damn bridge....I kept on hoping for her to just spin her ass off into that dam river.
I found it hilarious the way CMM tried to write Pucas as this "love story" but instead made them both look like retards. The only other part that I enjoyed last night other than Brooke scenes was when Dan shot Peyton. I was just like "Yay, the bitch died!!!!!!!!!!!!" But Chad had to go and fuck that up by having Lucas cradle Peytons bitchy ass in his arms while supposedly "crying" at the fact the bitch died.
Now the ONLY believable scenes last night were the ones with Brooke. And I'm not just saying that because I LOVE Sophia/Brooke but seriously.....any idiot would be able to tell you that she rocked.
But I wanted to punch CMM for writing Brooke's character the way he did. Like you said, he made her look like a desperate slut when thats NOT what she is at all. Lucas can consider himself LUCKY if Brooke ever tried to get with him again. The girl would never do that because she has grown up to be a MATURE and CLASSY woman.
And it was so stupid for him to write her as "telling" on Pucas. Brooke is the MOST LOYAL and LOVING person out of everyone on that fucking show. She's ALWAYS putting others before herself. But for Chad to write her as being a back-stabbing snitch really made me angry. The guys an asshole.....hopefully he'll NEVER get another opportunity to write another fucking episode ever again.
And Toddian.....I LOVE and I mean LOVE that song you wrote AND the banner you made!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It's the most funniest thing ever and you simply ROCK!!!lol
Peyton REALLY does look like smeagle from Lord of the Rings......it's the most beautiful banner I've ever seen...apart from the Brucas one you made last time of course.lol
And like I already said the song was EXCELLENT and it rhymes!!!!!!!! I'm gonna start singing it from now on.lol
And Toddian.....please don't abandon this blog....I get you've had enough of the show(and trust me....I don't blame you one bit) but your rant and reviews are actually the MOST interesting part of watching this show. And lets face it......NO ONE does it BETTER than YOU do.
–Jennifer
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