Monday, November 10, 2008

Can I have some BUTTER ON THE BUCKET OF Shitty Pop-CORNINESS!


Oh Mark… Can I have some BUTTER ON THE BUCKET OF Shitty Pop-CORNINESS!

Holy Fuck! We have a Entire episode about the almost characters on this dumb ass show: MOnkeyUTH, BORING Squinty McManwhore, LucASS Scott, and what would the show be without POPEYES, osh be Gosh, PeytWHORE the whiney pretend to know all theses bands Annoying Bitch! Tickle me bored out of my DAMN mind…but of course I had the color of my puke to keep me entertained.

I swear every time LucASS and his homeless looking, scruffy face, beady little eyes, I upchuck faster than it takes Mark ASSchawn drops down on his knees and lick Hillarie aka Peyton’s boring ass because she ran out of Charmin. Maybe that’s why ever episode is a load of bullshit! If he would get of his knees and quit being a damn tight-ass pansy lame ass, I might not be so upset.

But NOOO… Mark has to write the most incredibly unbelievable Crap-tastic episode to date! # 1: No body cares about Mouth! Skillz has more importance than him! I know everyone loves mouth, but he is not the core five! Hell, Naley and Brooke are now the backstory so that Mouth can have a useless triangle with Shi Shi (Slut Gigi) & Milli when nobody cares! Shit, I am tired of all this Mouth is a Catch, when he is really an annoying jerk who is more clueless than his ass of a bets friend, Lucas DUMB BITCH Scott.

#2: Why didn’t Julian run after the Man-whore, grab him by that Roster looking dirty blonde sack of shit he calls hair, and kick the shit out of him. It would have only taken him one minute to punch him, and I would have had my foot so fair down his esophagus that my shoe was hanging out of his crab infested ass!

His mildly Pathetic, Cry baby: “No Bookie no more for You Julian, because you banged my loose un-hot, not the in the least bit attractive or sexy, Olive-oyl from Pop Eye the Sailor Man resembling girlfriend. Wah! Wah!”

That Bullshit is starting to grate my nerves! Attention All brokeAss Dumbshit Male Sluts! You are a jobless, Dumb, unreliable, pussy whipped, stupid FuckWad, with the inability to keep one woman! It’s only a matter of time until that peanut shaped dime sized brain in your slut’s head starts working, even through that’s doubtful since you practically took a big shit in her mouth and she swallowed it up like gooey, gooey, gumdrops.

But still, suppose Pop Eyes McGee realizes so have the personality of a turd melting in the summer’s heat, and also realizes that Julian has more personality in his few scenes when he is stalking Peyton that you do when you Squint and Whine like a Fucking pussy! Oh yeah, maybe her brother can have post war stress and punch her in the head, thinking she is a pale Evil smurf- cause Damn she has a rockin’ anorexic’s body, but damn that face is like a blow-up doll on acid.

Anyway, if and when she ever grows a brain and leaves his ass, what will he have? No money, no job, and a reason to kill himself. Actually, Please let Peyton grow a brain, stupid bint! He needs that money from that movie, because Brooke can’t take care of them forever!

Thank God for Brooke telling the Manwhore that he was trying to slut it up with her, and tricked Lindsey into giving his Disgusting, Worthless, waste of Dan’s sperm ASS a chance after PeytWHORE! And speaking of Brooke… I love her so much, but Damn, Put on a Suit and dance around like a fucking Monkey you Leyton Cheerleader! What the hell is up with that shit! I am tried of Mark forcing Brooke to be all Leyton and to keep telling everyone who will listen how much THEY HURT HER! How does he expect anyone to like those sons of bitches when they hurt OUR Beautiful Brooke like that!

#3: The only things I commend Mark for is showing the USO for the Troops! But of course, he probably has nothing to do with that! And exactly why is Peyton hosting the show? I know Derek is her brother and everything, but she has no real musical connections except that Mia chick, which, I’m sorry, is not famous! I mean, she’s not a celebrity and PeytWHORE sure isn’t…she is a struggling Record producer who has yet to do anything except whine, nag, moan, and manage to leech off of Brooke?! I bet Brooke is paying all her bills, too?! Maybe Haley is the only one who has to work, and Nathan is the only one who wants to work!

And the Nathan and Q conversation! Wow, that was so fucking powerful! I love Nathan and he shouldn’t give up his dream! He can still coach without flying through windows. Which is Damn Ridiculous!

Naley were beautiful as usual, but Brooke needs a real story line because she is SO beautiful! I don’t care about Sam, the teenage PeytWHORE clone! That annoying brat is cramping Brooke’s style and needs to take a trip to Quinton line… Yes, I wouldn’t mind her being killed off because at least Brooke would get some good material. The child is useless, and I’m not buying this turn around all of the sudden. Puh-lease!

I think it would be great if Julian tells the truth about why he came back: And if it was because he read the book and fell madly in love with Brooke, I would be stoked! I think I just gave myself a new story idea! Yep! Because I’m tried of Lucas and his boring facial expressions. He is no longer Broody, instead he is Annoying… That his new nickname! The Annoying Scott!

As for the next episode… looks disappointing! Chad SUCKS as an Actor, with his dead eyes, lackluster speeches, and ugly mug every time he squints! If he is that bored, Mark should just kill Lucas- the character- off the show. In fact, I would be an extra just to push him in front of that moving BUS or TRAIN! Hell, Dan can choke the life out of the ass! And knowing him, he will write about Brooke kissing Nathan, just to rile up Naley Lovers!

Ugh, I don’t know theses people personally, and I don’t care to know them. All I know is that the guy playing Lucas is a half ass actor who better write this new episode correct, because once Leyton get married or Peyton has a kid or gets pregnant knowing Brooke wants a baby… I’m out of here! And I will never watch anything that that asshole Mark writes/ producers, or even breaths on. If he such much as looks at a screen play, I’m turning off the television. Damn prick!

Till next week

Much Love Homies,

-Toddian
Ps. I was bored out of my mind while watching the sow, so I creatd a banner for my story Falsetto... Wht do you think?

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

You never fails to entertain me Todd. As you mention it, that Peytwhore does look a lot like Olive - Skinny whiny bitch!

I don't comment on two of your funny rants before cos' I find myself givin' up on Brucas I just don't want to admit it earlier
but now I'm totally OVER them.That manwhore Lucas disgust me to death and I don't want my Brooke near him
anymore, God knows what he already have now(STD,Herpes,HPV, etc..)resulted of twin whore effect lol. I start to like Owen and I
hope Browen will work out somehow.

Flove my Brookie sooo much and I will give up my boyfriend if that mean my girl can get some love. She has been neglected by people who she consider 'family'.

Why the hell on earth that Peytwhore being so loud tonight?!

I really want to kill the ugly bitch Seyton(Sam+Peyton) and I don't even know why. Wait, I know why, it's because of her my new love interest Browen don't work out and she's not even grateful for what Brooke has done for her(Once again like her mentor PeytWhore).

I DESPISE Pucas sooo much and plus the miniature Seyton, now they can be one fu3king whiny family and rot in hell eternally!!!


BTW, that banner is nice if I still like Brucas :(

Anonymous said...

lmao your the best you know that? rotfl your reviews never fail to crack me up haha

Okay so whats going on with this whole peyton and sam thing anyways? why is it no matter what any storyline that brooke has with someone all of a sudden they become friends with saint peyton and peytons is meant to look like a shining example.***rolls eyes**pathetic.Not to mention haley once again seems to have forgot brooke and always with peyton its seriously stupid

The mouth airtimes also getting boring as hell lol. Have to say I like the character of millicent though shes great just a pity that most of the time all her scenes involve him lol wow I soundmean I dunno they just never give him any interesting storylines anyways

loved that there was abrucas scene and hated that peyton was mentioned gosh how hard is it for him to give us one scene without mentiong peyton?its like he has to always make brooke a lp cheerleader in every brucas scene they have.The fact is though brucas have serious chemistry and its like mark needs to mention peyton all the timeto remind us theyre together lmao who cares we all hate pucas anyways

Also had to laugh when julian told lucas he would do the film with or without him that was priceless sometimes lucas annoys the hell out of me and it was good to see julian had the upper hand with this

I hope the film is made and I also hope julian has some hidden agenda which makes peyton seen for the bitch she is but considering julian seems to be still in love with her dont see that happening so Im just hoping in the film he shows brucas as being the true love story and itwill then make lucas question things well fingers crossed anyways :)

awesome review as always todd cant wait for the next one:)

broodyprettygirl said...

This is how I felt...HOLY SHIT WE GOT A BRUCAS SCENE! Oh, right, of course it's about his relationship with Peyton. *Throws up in mouth* I actually enjoyed some of the show last night, but considering the past couple of days I've had, I'm not in my right mind. Remind me to watch it when I am. Actually, scratch that, I think I'll just leave it at enjoying the show. I'm hoping with all of this "OKay" shit Lucas is doing, they ruin Pucas. At this point, I don't give a crap if he gets back with Brooke, I just want his relationship with Peytwhore to be demolished.

Now, lets see if Chad can write better than he can act. Season 5 and 6 of his acting has been HORRIBLE! I wonder if he wants off the show. He's not doing a very good job of trying to get a new one though. Oh well!

Anonymous said...

Toddian, all I can say is that I begin to love you more and more with each and every single review. I am willing to bet all my money on the fact that there is no one else in this entire world who is able to express his thoughts and feelings and the TRUTH so clearly like you can. I have so much respect for you for speaking your mind week after week and not being afraid of sounding too harsh. Because you ONLY speak the truth. There are so many people out there, including myself who feel the exact same way you do, but none of us can sum it all up so perfectly as you can.

For starters....that banner is so AMAZING.....its so DAMN HOTT and Brooke looks absolutely beautiful in it. I love the way you made it into this really cool collage and now we have a better idea as to how the Scott-Davis kids look like. And there all a VERY good-looking bunch.

Second, the ENTIRE episode was NOTHING but painful to watch. Boring as hell does not even begin to describe it.....it was so unbelievably lame and corny. And what the fuck was up with all those Peyton scenes last night?? I don't give two shits about that scrawny anorexic bitch, so why was she in more than half of the fuckin episode???????????????

Mark is TOO fuckin obsessed with Peyton/Hilarie. He needs to wake the fuck up and realize that not everyone likes her. He needs to crawl out of her fuckin ass and realize that there are OTHER MANY MORE INTERESTING characters on the show and do something with them instead.

And I HATE the fact that he keeps on taking these characters like Mouth and focusing so much of his attention on him and that Gigi bitch where he keeps on neglecting BROOKE!!! The ONLY reason I continue to watch this show to begin with is because of Brooke....I don't give a shit about the others so why does he keep on putting her on the backburner??

I can't believe that he has Brooke taking care of a teenager and possibly another baby if the adoption thing goes through. Brooke is in her early twenties. What woman her age wants to be a SINGLE mother??? I was just talking about this with one of my friends earlier and she thinks that Mark is total idiot for throwing all of these kids in Brookes face when there not ever hers to begin with. He's making Brooke look like she's thirty five or something. What the fuck is he thinking??????

And I actually wanted to beat the hell out of Julian last night for letting Lucas' scrawny, useless ass punch the living daylights out of him. Why the hell didn't he run after him and beat him to a fuckin pulp like he DESERVES. Seriously, though...I COMPLETELY agree with you...watching Lucas/Chads beady squint week after week is making me insane. He has the same fuckin expression over and over again. Does he really think that it makes him look attractive???

Personally, I feel like Julian is a much hotter and smarter version of Lucas. So seeing as how Marks twisted ass got rid of Owen, hopefully he might consider giving Brooke and Julian a chance if Lucas is gonna keep on being a dick and keep him glued to Peytons ass.

Like I said, Brooke/Sophia is the ONLY reason I continue watching this shithole. The day Sophia leaves this show which will hopefully be soon, will be the day I'm out too so that I can put myself out of this misery and not have to watch Pucas-ville every fucking week.

But as much as I love Brooke, I HATE the fact that Mark has her acting like Pucas' own personal cheerleader. What he's doing to her is NOT fair. She's been SO HURT by both Peyton and Lucas over and over again...and even though there all "magically" friends again....she should be the very LAST person rooting for them. Does Mark really think that by having Brooke cheer for Pucas is really gonna make us go ga-ga over Pucas......I don't fuckin think so. KEEP ON DREAMIN MARK.

I can't believe that she referred to Pucas as her best friends when we al know that neither one of them gives a shit about her because there both wrapped up in there own little PATHETIC world.

And did you see part last night when Lucas said, "Who wouldn't fall in love with you Peyton Sawyer?" Well I can name about a couple hundred people off the top of my head who wouldn't fall in love with that THING you ASSHOLE!!!!!!!! I almost gagged.....no wait, I DID gag when I heard him say that last night. I literally wanted to jump into my fuckin tv and strangle them BOTH.

I don't even wanna begin to think about next weeks episode. It looks retarded and those brief glimpses we got of Peyton during next weeks episode make her look SCARY. But then again....why am I surprised?? That bitch always looks scary and ugly and disgusting and repulsing and.......you probably get the idea.lol

And Chad REALLY sucks as an actor so lets see if he actually knowns what hes doing behind the screen. Speaking of bad actors.....did you know that MSN named Chad as one of the WORST TV actors just a few weeks ago???????lol Looks like we're no the only ones who think he SUCKSSSSSSSSSSSSS. Lol

And TRUST me...IF Pucas get married or if Peyton has any of Lucas' kids, thats the END for me. I will NEVER EVER watch this show again. And not only that, I already know that I will NEVER watch anything written by Mark EVER again because he has proven time and time again that he is a CLUELESS jerk who doesn't give a shit about his fans. He's the WORST writer to have ever lived and his writing and crappy episodes are PROOF of that.

Anyways, see you again next week Toddian.....I'm already dreading that damn episode.

Jennifer

Anonymous said...

Todd, I'm huge fan of your rants. You tell it like we all see it and what we're seeing is that oth really sucks lately. The fact, that Haley or Peyton is going to get pregnant prove to us how much Mark hates Brooke. He never give her an inch. The girl may have grown up in money but she deserves happiness more than anyone else on this show. She didn't have one caring parent or never got a boyfriend who was worthy of her. The only thing she wants is a family and he gives her a mini-peyton. But gives those two skanks (Haley and Peyton) want she always wanted and I know its Peyton who'll be pregnant. We all know how she'll flaunt her pregnancy in Brooke's face. I'm not even rooting for Brooke and Julian, so that Brooke can be second best again after Peyton. Sophia should just leave the show, its not doing any good to her carreer. They should bring back Felix (he really hated Peyton, Lucas and Haley) and Jake (because he's hot), but knowing this show they coulcn't probably afford it.


Cocochanelgirl

Anonymous said...

hey Todd,

I haven't had time to review your comments but now that the episode was so fkn random again and I read your review on it, I thought i'd make time for it. because you're so fucking brilliant!

dude seriously you are the king of reviews. I enjoy them everytime and I look forward to them, I think (no I know) that I look more forward to your reviews then to that stupid ass show.

seriously could this episode be more random? UGH this is really bugging me, why can't they just cancel the show and then when i'm watching the CW i'm in my happy place again with great shows with great storylines and no stupid ass son of a bitch writers who don't have a clue what they are doing. I mean seriously Mark, you suck at writing, get a new job! one that doesn't require you to open your mouth or pick up your damn pen to write shit like this. he bugs me so much that everytime I watch this show I find looking at my dog shitting more interesting then this.

what is up with peyton's dressing? dude she has not tits and no bones in her body why does she dress like this? that blue dress from last week was awful, I mean ugh, good example to people who are anorexic. next time everyone is losing weight because they think that is cool. but it's not! it looks sick. look at people like haley and brooke, at least they have some skin and fat on their body. which is healthy. hell even jamie has more bones in his body then skinny ass peyton.

and who cares about Mouth? I fucking don't care shit about him, what is up with people who can't hold it together when they're with a girl who is somewhat attractive and makes a move on you? dude just say get the fuck off me, I have a girlfriend and then beat her. I for one am not one for violence but GiGi is fucking annoying! I think I would allow that. And her sleeping in Milli's bed? dude I would beat the shit out of Mouth if I were her.

anyway the rest was boring as usual. next time doesn't look interesting either. ah well only good thing of this shitty ass show is your review afterwards. already looking forward to it!

btw banner is awesome!

Loes