YAWN.... Fuckers? I wanna See Brooke!

I could go on and on raving about how WONDERful this show was!

But Damn it I'd be a mother-fucking Liar!

Where is the interaction of the core group? Where is the focus on the core characters? Where? Where? Where? All I get is A Stupid Fucking Photoshoot on top of Tric, Julians windshield wiper big ass Forehead blocking the screen, ALEX the Annoying dumbasss bitchy Shit faced SLUT! Ugh....

Not only do we not get to see Haley's reaction to the Groupie HO' but not I have to watch Nathan worry and whine! GREAT! *Insert eyeroll*

Holy shit am I bored out of my mind... its like everything I don't want to see Happens...

I don't know if Mark Schwahn is just tossing his own Salad (Homo-erotic son a bitch- Cause we all know that asshole has to be lusting after Mouth and Skillz cause they never have any clothes on!) - Or maybe he is tossing shit-turds on the script because nothing but lame ass Bullshit is Flying at Off my TV screen.

First of all- Why the hell Die Dan not tackle that son of a bitch screaming at him that he was a murder! I mean, the man wrote a book, how can peopple not already be aware of this shit! And Why did they make a Rachel a Stripper and a prostitute when she first MET DAN! These writers are just useless assholes!

Speaking of Useless... this Mouth and Skillz Bullshit has got to stop! UHHHHHHHH! I want to kill myself by stabbing myself in the eyes watching Monkey Boy and Cue Ball flirt with Animals a Such- GET THE FUCK OFF MY SCREEN! And Take Milli that Fucking Brooke Wannabe and with you! Why is she doing Brooke's job and why is Brooke always depressed.

Haley has a Reason but Brooke... Damn those writers and their obsession with EMO-I-tis! And let just say that at least Haley has a right to be upset. As far as she knows Nathan doesn't know where to stick his dick and where not to! And since Quinn has no respect for marriage and is already flirting with CLAY... only a matter of time before Pinnochio- Yes Jennifer, I notice that big ass nose Quinn has: Hahaha!- gets her claws into Nate...

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ..... And Is Julian just a clueless motherfucker not to see that that Dumbass Model wants his body... but boy will she be surprised when she finds out that Julians Nutsack is in Brooke's purse! seriously, I know he gave up the movie to be with brooke but does he have no friends! Ugh, Maybe that smushed face, Booty on head, Freakish large elf ears and pansy voice scared them away...

Needless to say... I have nothing to say about Brooke because she hasn't been doing anything! UGH. I watch for Brooke! So Chop, Chop SCHWAHN! Chop! CHOP!

Did you guys enjoy it?

Let me know,
-Toddian

(SOS) Season of SHOCKERS & LAUGHS

DACHEL!? Brooke, Marriage, Julian’s Father…?

Haley might lose her company and Hell Yeah OTH! This is the OTH I know and love. Every scene was intense or Funny or romantic! Its about time OTH step up the game! I have to say that the Dan/Rachel marriage was AWESOME for the Shock effect! Who would have ever thought Rachel and Dan would hook up or even marry!

Can you imagine those two when they return to Tree HILL? That’s like Satan Marrying Hitler (If Satan were a redhead with nice Boob-age!) And with all the drama going on in Tree Hill, those two Are bound to be the icing on the cake. But Dan will have some competition in the bad Dad department!

What the BLOODY FUCKING HELL… Julian’s father is a BITCH! Who walks into Someone’s house? Brooke’s house? And starts telling Julian that he is making a mistake by Being with a promiscuous Fashion Designer? BULL SHIT! Julian should have kicked his ass- I’m not the biggest Julian fan, but he should have stood up for his girlfriend. Brooke would have told Victoria where to go had it been her!

But our Brooklyn told Julian’s Daddy how much ass he could Kiss! GO BROOKE! That girl is strong and I love her fun Bitchy side. Like with her dumb ass model Alexis- DAYUM! Ha-ha-ha, that girl was dumb and it cracked me up. I loved Brooke wanting to dump her and trying to speak Spanish to get rid of her.

But in the end she played Brooke with her little speech about the dress. It was one of her lines from her movie! Awesome! Ha-ha! That was Classic and the Brooke I miss! Especially about the Poster Julian was hanging up!

THAT IS PERFECT! It’s the crazy stuff that Makes Brooke so beautiful and special. Watching strong and independent Brooke was just Beautiful and I officially love this show! But, I have to admit that I see Paul’s or whatever Julian’s father’s name is point! I mean, just because you are in love doesn’t mean you have to give up everything! Especially not to move to suck ass Tree Hill were assholes and Psycho’s grow like grass! But for the sake of the show, I understand the plotline.

But look at Haley- she gave up her dream of singing and got on the major labels are soulless kick and now she may lose the company OR COULD HAVE! BUT Damn you OTH, just when I get all excited, the WALKING gobble necked Broom stick aka MIAnnoyance walks in to save the day! UGH, please kill her weird British lady with no acting abilities! Seriously, if Haley has to mention Peyton one more time I’m gonna reach into the TV and strangle her.

But I did love her mocking Lucas and Peyton in the fake conversation to herself! Ha-ha-ha, she did the hands in Pocket and squint Lucas always does and the OWL eyed SEYTON face of shock, pain, annoyance! It was hilarious and after Mia came in and Haley called her a Bitch… Hilarious! I love feisty Haley!

And when she gets a hold of that Groupie trying to claim Nathan is her baby Daddy! OOOOO WEEE! Haley is gonna eat that ass up! Ha-ha! I loved this episode so much I can’t stop smiling. I even loved the Nathan and Clayton! Clayton was being the serious agent to that girl but when Nate burst in and went off on her, I think Nate is finally manning up! Its about time.

But I do have to ask…?

Are the only poor people in Tree Hill Black? Seriously- Go fuck yourself MARK! I mean, Dan happens upon Homeless African American male as he leaves his show. The guys is talking belligerent and of course looking like Jamie colored Marker all over his fast! I was like, who the hell painted you damn face like that! Damn, OTH and their Cheap ass imitation, Half ass Bullshit!

Side notes:

1. Heart So True-The name of Alexis Film …. that was the name of the BL book wasn’t it? Ha-ha-ha… Mark is a prick but a Hilarious ONE!

2. Did Mia and Chase get Married? Hahaha!

3. I loved it! Did you?

Much Love Homies,

-Toddian

Episode 1: So Basically they are Dead to Everyone but Brooke Hahahahaha!

It’s a Bird!

It’s a PLANE!

It’s the last of Kanye West’s Mother-fucking Sanity?!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! It’s One Tree Hill raising like the Phoenix from the pile of hot bubbling stank-ass Bullshit of SEASON SUX *Cough* I mean Six’s PUKEFEST-O-Rama!

Or is this just a trick by Dork IsuckMajorAsSchwahn while he slips in as much of that PUCAS rash of EPIC EMOness, Guest Stars from Time-wasting Hell, and FORCED Cheese-tastic relationships on us?

Hmm….

Does He Really think that Just because SOPHIA BUSH is looking Sexy as Hell, And BECAUSE B. JOY looks HOT enough to Eat, and (To rope in all the child-molesting Pervs, of course) Haley’s Older sister Looks like a Fifteen Year old who’s been slapped in the face with a Tree Branch - That we are all going to just give this show ANOTHER Chance?

Ummm, A HELLS YES! Hahaha!

This Clayton Dude as Potential! Nate better Not have knocked up some Group WHORE! And Julian… Why Can’t he die? Muhahahaha! I hate that guy, but I would Take him over Cat Screaming, Bitch ass, stick pole MIAnnoyance, Bore Me to Death Chastity Belt Chase, and UGLY ASS Mouth!
But lets get into the Episode Shall we!?

First Up, DAN! 14months since the EVE of Nathan’s first NBA game, Dan is still alive and going strong even though he should be dead! Yeah, and Mark Schwahn wasn’t raised by brain Dead Chimps! -Sense the sarcasm?-We all knew our resident Immortal Vampire, walking deadbeat Dad would be alive and well spreading his own brand of Child abandoning joy to the world!

What is surprising is that He is standing in front of a big ass UNNECESSARY time clock chatting about how he didn’t get to see Nathan finally juggle those orange balls he loves so much! After spending Like Five-thousand fucking years, a broken leg, flying through bullet proof windows like a crash test dummy, and saving all the underprivileged black players in the world (Damn , Some days I Hate Mark Schwahn!) Nathan is in the NBA… YAY!

Of course, saving the Black youth and showing how poor and underprivileged they are is just A MUST! BECAUSE of all the FANs OTH has Screwed over: BRUCAS FANS, Haley fans who want an actual storyline, I guess Mark figured he may as well piss off African American viewers and stereotype the entire ethnicity.

That’s right, I’m guessing Haley’s 15 year old... I mean young looking but mysteriously older than Haley & Taylor (I guess) sister is having a moment of pathetic clarity while starting at a black girl picking up a bullet shell in her front yard! I mean, what sort of clarity she would get from this, no one knows but apparently the African American struggle just makes her see how much of her life she is taking for granted.

IS AL SHARPTON on the OTH writing staff and I just don’t know about it, or what!

I’m getting pissed off because this is becoming too much stereotypes. Seriously, First Q , then Nate and the black players he gave up his spot for like a Damn fool, Skillz being like the only semi-star on the show to not be successful, Giving away Biggie & Pac CD's and now this…

*Cue* Hales Jamming just a little too Hard to her own Music. NOW I ADMIT, this SHIT SOUNDED TOO DAMN GOOD even though it personally wasn’t my style of Music but I was like:

“Damn Hales, why don’t you just grab a stripper pole and get to work! LOL!”

The way Hales was jerking, jumping up and breaking it down, you would have thought she had crabs and they were making lunch of her crotch. The crabs might have come from the HOBO’s clothes she stole and decided it was cool to wear! Hahaha, LOL! So, I don’t like that first outfit, but we all Have to admit HALEY is looking DAMN HAWT this season!

So with some serious rump shaking music playing, I was up two-stepping to Haley’s song when BOOLIAN popped up on the screen! I never thought I would say this when Brooke/Sophia was on my Screen but HOLY FUCK how many BL SCENES can you steal, Fuckers! Seriously, Julian the girl voice bitch is getting some tongue in the BRUCAS spot…?

Ugh, I really wish Mark Schwahn would stop wiping those Sunkist Induced orangish Green turds from his ass with the new scripts thus forcing him to use old episodes and pawn them off as if they are newly written material. Seriously, I'm so Sending this douche bag some Charmin for Christmas.

And this is where my annoyance starts!

Okay, now when did Millicent the Girlfriend of Mr. I’m To Hideous to be Seen become Brooke!? Are you shitting me, Brooke should be the one running Clothes over BRO’s and so should VICTORIA! I guess that fucking asshole Mark had to turn Brooke into SEYTON. Begging Mr. Five Head McControl Freak to come back Tree Hill which he won’t do!

Of course he had no problem forcing her to tell him she loved him after like two months, a Shag, and Lucas Clone Speech! But now We are supposed to believe that Brooke is all "PLEASE COME BACK! PLEASE! I took one for the team and made you closet space even though you could be a mass murder!"

Fuck that Douche Bag Mark and his Dick-a-pick writing...

Meaning his head is in his BALLS and his Sack is the size of a shrunken Peanut! And that MARRY ME shit in the SAND... Is it wrong that I want whatever Syphilis type STD is eroding the Schwahn's brain ater having multiple Orges with Mouth, to finish him off!

SpEaking of MOUTH.... EWWWWW! I JUST POURED BLEACH IN MY FUCKING EYES TO RID AWAY THAT SICKENING IMAGE! I think i threw up at least half the length of my small and large intestine! NEVER, EVER, Have a seen something so crule and Vommiting induciing than a naked MONLEY on the Loose! YUCK! I’m sorry, but Mouth has that Me want Banana, Hairy, swing from trees thing going on.

I don't care if he wants Skillz out of theapartment so he can live with Milli or not! What if Skillz would have panicked and gone blind, taken a knife to his thraot because he though a mass murdering Monster was about to Rape him! UGH! Thats just NASTY!

And what sort of frend wants their BFF to move out... how about his sorry ass move out! EASY! UGH! We should all sue the CW for attempted Murder by Drop Dead Yuckiness! EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! I'm just fucking scarred for life!

But not to scarred to miss the BOOLian at Jamie's 7th birthday wish Cheese fest! So Jaime tells Brooke he is going to make a wish for her and himself and of course Brooke believe's Jamie wished for Julian. Honesly, I am trying to like them but the more I watch the more I keep hoping Brooke and Clayton run into each other! Hahaha! I know its wrong, but Clayton and Brooke seem like they would be SO SEXY, HOT, and FUN... the way Brulian would have been if Captain Dick-a-Pick, The Schwahn's new name, had to turned then into the could that shall not be named!

OH FUCK YEAH... its like they died Twenty years ago and everyone forgot them except Lucas Lame-ass basketball gift! Isn't Nate a professional B-Ball player with his own Card! Didn't Jaime put it up? So why in the hell would Jamie need a Basketball when we all know his Dad has them lying around the house! Hahaha, stupid OTH writers.

Anyway, I did think some of the Brulian was cute thought. But One thing I know is that Julian makes Brooke think about SEYTON...

I can't believe the Schwahn had Brooke Say People Always Leave...

I just bit the shit out of my tongue because of that shit!

Clayton so showed Nathan up with the actual Jerry Rice instead of the signed Jersey! And Brooke writing Jamie a Check for his birthday, I'm sorry but BROOKE & CLAYTON would be so GREAT!

Laughing my Mother Fucking Ass Off!

Nate and Clayton are the coolest friends! hahaha! Lucas Who? But I do not like Quinn and Clayton was asking Nate who is the HOT girl! Seriously, she has a husband and I know this show has not morals BUT Damn, I'd rather another Dog eat a random heart than this shit! But even sicker is the OTHER RANDOM GROUPIE and CLAYTON... I was hoping he would turn her away, but Mark has to ruin everything by making Clayton a user D-Bag!

And I know they are so gonna ruin the Clayton/Nathan Bromance over a something because this friendship is just too good! Hahahahaha! At first I was thinking: All this Clay & Nate, What the hell is Haley's storyline? She song for the first two minutes and ten WHAM! Nothing! Then ten minutes at the end and some Lady is trying to close down Haley's studio & Tric and Stuff!

HELL YEAH, a business STORYLINE! I love those sorts and I hope Mark doesn't FUCK it up by rushing it! I am loving this and HALEY! <3> Now if I could get some fucking BALEY! YES sir, I'd be STOKED! I don't want all this Haley Quinn but it is giving Haley some time to shine, But I fear the Prop Syndrom!

And finally it come full circle... Dan is on a talk show/tv show! HAHAHAHAH! CLASSIC!

So basically, I loved this First Episode other than the ridiculouslness & Can't wait for me Next Monday!

VIVA LA NEW OTH... no MORE dead weight!

What did you guys think about this episode?

-Toddian