The Send Off From Hell!

Hiatus… Damn, why can’t they just have the break be called: Cancellation! It’s True; I am watching this episode because I think I should give you all a PROPER SEND OFF & WHAT BETTER THAN A GREAT BASH & RANT!

First of all… I Have Got to say That this Episode was probably the best ever for this SUCK ASS, Bitch that is PUCAS infested season. We Got Brulian scenes and Nathan and some basketball… J. LUKE cause I love that Tyke… THOUGH I HAVE TO SAY: THOSE JOKES were HIDEOUS…
Not Funny, not at all. Are all those people morons out there? Laughing like any of that made sense.

And Haley… she will never have a storyline unless she is pimping Leyton… which is ironic since both are nasty Whorish Slutty, Prostitutes! Oh the irony!

Now:

Two things I’m absolutely digging! Finally, Some attention to the Main reason I watch this Damn show! Nathanand his Basketball & BROOKE & JULIAN HOT PLATTER OF SEX ANYONE! OH YEAH…. YES! That’s what I want so, so BADLY! And Sam telling him not to screw up!

Speaking of Sam: SAM’s friend BEAT UP BROOKE! Son of a bitch! I knew I should hate that BITCH & HER FRIENDS! That boy better end up IN JAIL! SON OF A MOTHER-FUCKING BITCH! Damn! Damn! I hope Brooke Bust a Cap in both those homeless Assholes! Then Sam ran off and of course Gets in the car with Q’s killer and Brooke’s attacker. I know it’s wrong, but I was hoping the BITCH would jump off the bridge because I lost all sympathy when she got in the car with the Douche-bag.

Just a family of criminals! AH! But Brooke, ever the Martyr wants to find that Little skank PeytWHORE junior Freak show! And then OW-Dumbshit-EN Has a chance to help BROOKE… BUT SHE SHAGS THE SLUT MILLI! Sorry, but MILLICENT IS A FOOL! Why does Mark that douche bag asshole, Pucas eating kiss-ASS always have Our Beautiful , SEXY Brooke get crap! I think I need to QUIT!

But Just when I think I have a hold on my man-orexia LucASS or PeytWHORE burst of the fucking scene! Damn, can somebody please run those sons of bitches over with a damn TRUCK! FUCK DUMBSHIT LUCAS WITH HIS HERPES eaten BRAIN! Is it me, or does everything about that PRICK say : Transvestite DUMMY… IS HE WEARING BLUSH?
If I have to watch Peyton Grab her Damn stomach, Stare WIDE MOUTHED LIKE A FUCKING ALIEN & bitch and moan like the last slut one more time, I will scratch my eyes out! And getting mad at Mia for being ungrateful…

UMMM, Peyton you are the QUEEN of UNGRATEFUL SLUTs! Brooke Paid for your studio, Label, she saves you from EVIL PSYCHOS of the Week, and YOU ARE SHRIEKING LIKE A FUCKING Banshee because …? BECAUSE Life isn’t going GEE- GOLLY GREAT!
Brooke just found out who her attacker is, and that he was sleeping in her house, but PEYTON can freak out while Brooke turns into Supper saint! Peyton needs to DIE!

She needs to MIX some bleach in Lucas’ Shit, because she licks his Ass so much that she practically GETS her nutrients from his nut sack, And she should drink it, KILL HERSELF, and put us out of our misery! Damn, we all know she is pregnant!

Because Lets be serious… Peyton & Cancer would only Turn into the LET’s WHINE, Whine, Whine, Deep throat LucASS, sob, cry, Harass Brooke about having Julian want her, cry, cry, whine, Destroy the eyes of innocent victims by showing that hideous Praying Mantis Face… Pop EYED PSYCHO SLUT BAG!

I think the lesser of two evils would be for her to be PREGNANT… Then She can give birth to A Balloon eyes, Squinty Douche bag Liar, cheater, and STD spreading ANTI-CHRIST! Anything other than having her whine!

Needless to say! I think I’m done with this show for real! I guess we will see!

There is More than ONE way to SUCK ASS In ShowBiz….

Anyone who watches OTH is aware that The writers -Mark ASSchawn & Now Chad Michael “Needs some Mother Fucking acting lessons in a hurry” Murray!- Seem to have had the talent and life sucked out of their Worthless ASSes with a Damn turkey baster by way of their Large and Hairy Assholes somewhere along the way! And some how they have managed to take that SHIT incrusted talent, throw it on a screenplay, and push this bullshit out on all us poor, supportive, abused fans!

Cause Holy Fucking hell Those two Pricks must they live by the Motto:

THERE IS MORE THAN ONE WAY TO SUCK ASS IN SHOWBIZ!

Damn, it’s like those dumb fucks are so tired of working that they would rather RUIN the ENTIRE SHOW just to alienate Fans… Say what you Will people, but this show Blows more Ass Chunks and Dick than Peyton when she tried to seduce LucASS with those weird freaky spider legs and big Scary, Googly, hallowed out Bug Eyes !

Seriously, In what possible way can CMM rationalize this Piss-Ass Nasty Episode of Preverbal Filthy and Gag- worthy Puke-ASS obsessed boredom as being a mixture of all the previous seasons? I mean, Just when we think his character is so boring that he could and should be replaced with a Fucking corpse, he proves once again that being A NO TALENT ASS-WIPE is a Forte!

See, Not everyone has the skill to be a monotone, dead in the face, squinty eyed douche bag! No…No… It takes a lot of Random Years of being Forced… No Doubt Mark is holding an AK 47, 9 millimeter Glock or a Double Barreled Shotgun to his head…To act as one part of the Most Ugly, Contrived, Please give me a reason to become Man-o-rexic because I have Puked, gagged, thrown up and contemplated suicide after watching, a.k.a. MAN-WHORE ONE & MAN-WHORE 2 (The more I look at this show, the more I am positive that Peyton is really Smeagle from Lord of the Rings! See above picture!) …

I mean come on, they have the same eyes…? Ha-ha, that was really a spiteful thing to do, but take it in good humor! When you have to witness pathetic-ness that is the character of Peyton Sawyer, you eventually just get sick of it.

Anyway, On to the ridiculousness of this show! What the hell!

Lets See, ways to achieve Showbiz Suckery:

A) 1940’s Plot-less SHITTY Randomness without a Damn Cause! Somebody buy a FUCKING gun and shove it down my throat so I can keep the chunks from escaping! The only Reason for this Show is To PIMP the EVER so LIFELESS Couple PUKE-ASS!

B) Make sure The Most hated and sickly looking woman on the show is the lead! Why Is it that Dan even has Peyton…slash… guardian… daughter… as Arm Candy?

Again… Smeagle… Really? I think she hypnotizes people with those Wombat Puss Eyes! Even Dan has better Taste! He may As well have put a Fucking Broom stick on his arm and walked around! Throw a mop head on the end of that broom stick and we Have PeytWHORE! Why Is Julian working for Dan? And why didn’t he jam that Sharp Jagged glass into Lucas Greasy Pimple Shaped Head! Damn!

Probably because he would bled Lies and brown stank-ass shit… otherwise know as feses!

C) *CUE cheesy MUSIC! And infamous Monkey faced squint!* BUY SOME FUCKING GLASSES YOU POOR SON OF A BITCH! And what is with the weird accents, Gees, you vapid waste of space, just act!

D) Cue unnecessary DRAMA! Oh beat up Skillz and Owen while rat Bastard Mouth watches because he is A SCARY, NOISY, Unnecessary character that gets too much air time! I so wanted Mouth to die, and cheered once he was pushed in that water! Finally… the flying monkey sleeps with the fishes!

But still, I don’t get the randomness. At least the relationships could be established instead of Luc-ASS speaking one line and everybody remembering what is supposed to happen. Cause all I know Skillz was playing the Piano and Dan killed Keith for no real GIVEN reason?! And decided to attack everybody because…? I’m drawing a blank?

Why kill everybody when he could just burn down the club? Why kill Keith? And then Lucas whips out a gun and shots Julian because…? He wants to take Peyton...? where are the police? This is the most thoughtless, played out, blatant disrespect of Casablanca I have ever seen! That asshole!

But They have 3 Great things about this show!

1) Only Good thing about CMM writing was the Brooke storyline! Thank GOD! She is actually in More than one minute scene… of course he made her a desperate, poor, prostituting slut! News Flash, Lucas is the Whore, not Brooke! Brooke would never tell on Leyton /Pucas… again, she is LOYAL and gives up everything for her friends. And Brooke would touch Lucas with a ten foot pole!

I’m tried of the subtle bashing that Mark thinks is happening while Brucas fans sit idly by continue to watch because we are being want to see Sophia BUSH! I’m telling you, once Pucas Have a little Brat, I’m running as fast as possible to the nearest network and watching some action!

But I suppose Anything is better than the Disappearing Bull SHIT act Mark has been trying to pull over OUR EYE! Fucking PUSSY!

&

2) Of course we have Nathan & Haley… sorry, still a bit boring! They met after two seconds and he wants to marry her? No real storyline… I think Mark said: “just have them Kiss Chad-ASS so we can focus on the worse love story ever!” Because we all want to Watch CMM Over act and the actress who plays Peyton act like a Damn fool!

A Damn FOOL! What sort of Acting is this bitch doing? Since when has Peyton been the floating around type of character, dancing in the rain and on bridges. But thank you Dan for PUNCHING THE SHIT OUT OF HER! Now if he could kick Lucas in the throat so he can stop speaking in that annoying fake ass accent, I’ll be Happy!

3) Then One Beautiful, fantastic thing Happened! Peyton got SHOT! THEY KNOW WHAT FANS WANT! Kill that bitch, and if Lucas could have been behind her, the bullet went through her and then hit him! WooHoo! I would have nominated CMM for a Screen Actor’s Guild Award! Kill off two WHORES IN ONE NIGHT!

Anyway… celebration time! Todd gets up and does the Charleston singing:

“Ding Dong
The Bitch is dead!
Which Bitch?
The PeytWHORE Bitch!
Ding Dong the wicked bitch is dead!
Break down now…
(Insert rapping voice!)
Boom! Boom! Schick shtick!
The Beetoch is Dead!
Shot in the stomach
‘cause she make’s us all
want to vomit!
Boyfriend stealing,
backstabbing Ho
How many Fans they made happy
Mark will never know!
Hope she burns in Seven thousand fires of Hell
Hope Dan never ends up in jail!
Give him an award for Doing this deed
Feel sorry for Lucas
No more PeytWhore on her knees
PLEASE…
Meercat Boggling Eyes
and anorexic legs!
Ding Dong, ding Dong!
The Bitch is dead!”

And LUCAS CALLED PEYTON PRETTY GIRL TONIGHT! I JUST QUIT THE SHOW!
Goodbye GUYS & Much Love ,

You guys were the greatest!

-Toddian

Can I have some BUTTER ON THE BUCKET OF Shitty Pop-CORNINESS!

Oh Mark… Can I have some BUTTER ON THE BUCKET OF Shitty Pop-CORNINESS!

Holy Fuck! We have a Entire episode about the almost characters on this dumb ass show: MOnkeyUTH, BORING Squinty McManwhore, LucASS Scott, and what would the show be without POPEYES, osh be Gosh, PeytWHORE the whiney pretend to know all theses bands Annoying Bitch! Tickle me bored out of my DAMN mind…but of course I had the color of my puke to keep me entertained.

I swear every time LucASS and his homeless looking, scruffy face, beady little eyes, I upchuck faster than it takes Mark ASSchawn drops down on his knees and lick Hillarie aka Peyton’s boring ass because she ran out of Charmin. Maybe that’s why ever episode is a load of bullshit! If he would get of his knees and quit being a damn tight-ass pansy lame ass, I might not be so upset.

But NOOO… Mark has to write the most incredibly unbelievable Crap-tastic episode to date! # 1: No body cares about Mouth! Skillz has more importance than him! I know everyone loves mouth, but he is not the core five! Hell, Naley and Brooke are now the backstory so that Mouth can have a useless triangle with Shi Shi (Slut Gigi) & Milli when nobody cares! Shit, I am tired of all this Mouth is a Catch, when he is really an annoying jerk who is more clueless than his ass of a bets friend, Lucas DUMB BITCH Scott.

#2: Why didn’t Julian run after the Man-whore, grab him by that Roster looking dirty blonde sack of shit he calls hair, and kick the shit out of him. It would have only taken him one minute to punch him, and I would have had my foot so fair down his esophagus that my shoe was hanging out of his crab infested ass!

His mildly Pathetic, Cry baby: “No Bookie no more for You Julian, because you banged my loose un-hot, not the in the least bit attractive or sexy, Olive-oyl from Pop Eye the Sailor Man resembling girlfriend. Wah! Wah!”

That Bullshit is starting to grate my nerves! Attention All brokeAss Dumbshit Male Sluts! You are a jobless, Dumb, unreliable, pussy whipped, stupid FuckWad, with the inability to keep one woman! It’s only a matter of time until that peanut shaped dime sized brain in your slut’s head starts working, even through that’s doubtful since you practically took a big shit in her mouth and she swallowed it up like gooey, gooey, gumdrops.

But still, suppose Pop Eyes McGee realizes so have the personality of a turd melting in the summer’s heat, and also realizes that Julian has more personality in his few scenes when he is stalking Peyton that you do when you Squint and Whine like a Fucking pussy! Oh yeah, maybe her brother can have post war stress and punch her in the head, thinking she is a pale Evil smurf- cause Damn she has a rockin’ anorexic’s body, but damn that face is like a blow-up doll on acid.

Anyway, if and when she ever grows a brain and leaves his ass, what will he have? No money, no job, and a reason to kill himself. Actually, Please let Peyton grow a brain, stupid bint! He needs that money from that movie, because Brooke can’t take care of them forever!

Thank God for Brooke telling the Manwhore that he was trying to slut it up with her, and tricked Lindsey into giving his Disgusting, Worthless, waste of Dan’s sperm ASS a chance after PeytWHORE! And speaking of Brooke… I love her so much, but Damn, Put on a Suit and dance around like a fucking Monkey you Leyton Cheerleader! What the hell is up with that shit! I am tried of Mark forcing Brooke to be all Leyton and to keep telling everyone who will listen how much THEY HURT HER! How does he expect anyone to like those sons of bitches when they hurt OUR Beautiful Brooke like that!

#3: The only things I commend Mark for is showing the USO for the Troops! But of course, he probably has nothing to do with that! And exactly why is Peyton hosting the show? I know Derek is her brother and everything, but she has no real musical connections except that Mia chick, which, I’m sorry, is not famous! I mean, she’s not a celebrity and PeytWHORE sure isn’t…she is a struggling Record producer who has yet to do anything except whine, nag, moan, and manage to leech off of Brooke?! I bet Brooke is paying all her bills, too?! Maybe Haley is the only one who has to work, and Nathan is the only one who wants to work!

And the Nathan and Q conversation! Wow, that was so fucking powerful! I love Nathan and he shouldn’t give up his dream! He can still coach without flying through windows. Which is Damn Ridiculous!

Naley were beautiful as usual, but Brooke needs a real story line because she is SO beautiful! I don’t care about Sam, the teenage PeytWHORE clone! That annoying brat is cramping Brooke’s style and needs to take a trip to Quinton line… Yes, I wouldn’t mind her being killed off because at least Brooke would get some good material. The child is useless, and I’m not buying this turn around all of the sudden. Puh-lease!

I think it would be great if Julian tells the truth about why he came back: And if it was because he read the book and fell madly in love with Brooke, I would be stoked! I think I just gave myself a new story idea! Yep! Because I’m tried of Lucas and his boring facial expressions. He is no longer Broody, instead he is Annoying… That his new nickname! The Annoying Scott!

As for the next episode… looks disappointing! Chad SUCKS as an Actor, with his dead eyes, lackluster speeches, and ugly mug every time he squints! If he is that bored, Mark should just kill Lucas- the character- off the show. In fact, I would be an extra just to push him in front of that moving BUS or TRAIN! Hell, Dan can choke the life out of the ass! And knowing him, he will write about Brooke kissing Nathan, just to rile up Naley Lovers!

Ugh, I don’t know theses people personally, and I don’t care to know them. All I know is that the guy playing Lucas is a half ass actor who better write this new episode correct, because once Leyton get married or Peyton has a kid or gets pregnant knowing Brooke wants a baby… I’m out of here! And I will never watch anything that that asshole Mark writes/ producers, or even breaths on. If he such much as looks at a screen play, I’m turning off the television. Damn prick!

Till next week

Much Love Homies,

-Toddian

Ps. I was bored out of my mind while watching the sow, so I creatd a banner for my story Falsetto... Wht do you think?

Episode One ConfusionVille Hill…

Episode One ConfusionVille Hill…

Okay, I am confused as to WHY there are other couples on this show when all we see together is Leyton/ PUKE-tastrophe! I mean, what other couple even gets to kiss? As always, this is the most boring episode to date… Nothing happens except Pucas whine, and the little bit of Naley & Browen…

So lets start with me first Confused Question:

#1- Why oh Fucking Why, Does Pity Me PeytSLUT have only two facial expressions:

A…Mangled, Cry -Cry -Cry Whine, Run Over By the Fugly Truck! Look.

And the Ever so popular:

B… Weird, Ugly, Bug-eyed, Frozen Face, Mouth Dropped Wide Open-please insert Dick- Look as she goes into a Melodramatic Flash Back…

Shit… The Fool stops in the middle of conversations to have two hour flashbacks! I mean, seriously? Nobody thinks: IS PEYTON HAVING A STROKE…? SHE’S BEEN STANDING IN THE SAME PLACE FOR THE PAST TWO Hours? I was just waiting for Brooke to say, “Peyton, why the LONG, DRAWNOUT, SAGGING TITS LOOKING, face?”

But of course we got the Wicked Fucking Championship Whiney Chalice tonight by being force fed to watch Both Horribly Sickening faces. Every other scene either LucASS or PetytWHORE are Whining, complaining, bitching, obsessing, & just completely UNHAPPY!

I mean, Lucas cries about everything and my guess is that he will act like the big Pussy he is next week and try to punch Julian! I hope that Guy Opens up the biggest can of Whoop Ass on him. We all know that guy, Nathan, Felix, Sam (cause that kid just looks like a dude, and I bet she attacked Brooke-LOL) and even Jamie could beat the shit out of Lucass!

Seriously, who gives a good Fuck about this guy and Peyton!? Why the hell does Lucas care if PeytWHORE was seeing someone while he was Spreading His Disgusting Torture of man-whore Sex on LINDSEY! So she loved him… You claimed to love Lindsey, but them again you are a liar! Stupid Prick!

And if he blames anyone, it should be PeytWHORE! Beat her ass- I might actually enjoy that- although I don’t appreciate violence towards women, but she’s not a woman! She’s a blood sucking Bitch-piress!

Here we are with more unnecessary Drama!

Why don’t they just Play out the Bootleg, cracked out Romeo and Juliet sentiment Mark a la Douche bag has been force feeding us, and Kill themselves already!

All this Dan Hate is starting to get on my nerves! Am I the only person who just doesn’t care about WHINEY ASS LUCAS & his DAN drama! FUCKIN’ HELL! Just write the bastard and stop bitching like a Damn Pussy!

Oh My Fucking Goodness! If SQUINTY has to Force one more tear out of Pathetic, Depressing, EMO-looking ass, I’ll literally Go to Mark’s Office and Puke all over his desk! Seriously, I may as well take a shit on his screenplay with the BULLSHIT episodes this Moron Hack writing son of a bitch has been giving us!

Shouldn’t The Man-WHORE be in jail for damaging Private property? I mean, he broke Dan’s headstone! Oh well, nothing makes sense in this town, no does it! This is a sci-fi show, right?! Actually, sci-fi is more realistic. But as long as Dan can kill PUCass in the end, I’m down.

I’m all for Dan taking that Shovel and shoving it down LucASS’ Throat! Better Yet, have Dan shove the shovel down Peyton’s throat and scoop out all that BULLSHIT currently residing in her Self Absorbed, Feeding Off Of The Shit From Lucas’ Asshole Because She Has Been Kissing His Ass So Much, Waste Of Life, ass!

Gees, this Julian Kid is getting more air time than Ugly ass Monkey Mouth, Browen, Naley, Jamie…. Speaking of, I love Jamie…That little GANGSTA, HUSTLER! But why is Mouth getting so much air time, to just become a SLUT! Nobody cares about ShiShi… (Slut GiGi) & Millicent is too hot for him anyway! So if he cheats on her, he is an idiot!

But Thank God for Julian telling that Whiney BITCH where she could go: He left her not the other way around! Just the same way the Brooke left Lucas! If you ask me, Peyton is just as bored with Lucas as the entire audience, and is trying to cause Drama, because she can’t be happy without a third person in her relationship, examples: Brooke and Lindsey!

SELFISH LOVE can’t thrive if it has no innocent victims to feed off of! Ha-ha! I don’t care if Mark is ruining them involuntarily or meaning to! All I know is that they will go down as the worst COUPLE ON TELEVISION!

Well guess what Slutty McWhine Me A Whorish River, nobody wants You or your SLUT Boyfriend! You’re both Boring and Drab! Make Like Keith, and get shot already! Damn, Mark needs to stop teasing us with death references and just have Dan go berserk already!

Just tell the man, hell, you stay up his ass twenty-four seven … I don’t know how he doesn’t know? Don’t Twin’s have ESP?! Shouldn’t their incestuous Nasty, Puke-ASS Sex connect them deeper!?

#2 - I’m confused why they had to end Browen: Damn Brooke and Owen were so HOT & Hilarious! The Dude went to jail because Brooke kicked his -and I quote: “BIG, Hairy, Man stuff that was all over her leather interior!” ASS to the curb! As much as I want to hold Brucas faith and hate Owen, the Kid fought for Brooke’s LOVE like no other! Where Leyton is all depressing, tear in my eyes because I am two of the most worthless pathetic, Characters ever created!

So why end them?! Do they want Luke-whore to go running back to Brooke! Well she better not take back that Fucking Pansy! He bitches more than SAM! But atlas, they are sending Julian- another PeytWHORE lover- Brooke’s way! WHY? Why can’t a guy from Brooke’ past come back? Everybody acts like she never dated a soul?!

#3- I’m confused as to why Nathan is always attacked… HOW MANY TIMES CAN ONE MAN GET THROWN THROUGH WHAT IS SUPPOSED TO BE UNBREAKABLE GLASS!? I wonder if his next big job will be one of those crash test dummies…Hmmm? More Ludicrous ideas for Mark ASSchwan! Ha-ha!

#4- where is DILLZ? I prefer them over MOUTH & GIGI! Uh, how do people kiss that Monkey looking kid? Talk about Monkey SEX! Seriously, I’m sorry, but that guy grates my nerves.

Okay, not much more to say…so I’ll see you guys next week! If you can answer my questions, that would be SWEET!

Much Love Homies,
-Toddian