Need help sleeping? Watch the finale of One Tree Hill and you'll be off in the land of zzz's in no time!
But since I was not fortunate enough to need a sleeping pill in the form of a lame episode... I just have to say...
I knew there was a reason I liked Katie so much!
It's a sad day indeed when the best part of a finale is the final 40 seconds, but sitting through that torturous garbage was almost worthwhile when I got to see the evil succubus known as Quinn James cop one in the gut! Please, for the love of all that is fair and decent...
KILL OFF QUINN JAMES!
Yes, we finally managed to reach the season finale, and in true Tree Hill style (circa season 4 and beyond) not only was it a complete let down in every conceivable way, but the hour of my life that I will never get back also made it abundantly clear that Mark must be sucking some serious dick in order to gain himself another season of this television series. I mean really, this was nothing more than a bland and lifeless way to end this ridiculous season of One Lame Hill.
Whether it was the cliche one-liners, gag-worthy "I Love Yous" or annoying Pimp My Julian story lines, this final episode was nothing but a fucking snooze fest! So, let's get this dribble over with so we can go on living our lives...
Not even sure where to start because sifting through shit was never my strong point. Bottom line though - this episode was so fucking boring!
If the finale were a movie - I'd demand a fucking refund and sue them for fraud for calling this show entertainment!
So... Naley. What the fuck happened to this couple? During the week I had to deal with a fuck stick who decided to vehemently deny that Haley was trying to kill herself. Well, what the fuck do you call throwing yourself into a pool in order to "feel something"? My question would be what the fuck would have happened if Nathan hadn't come jumping into the pool to drag your dumb ass out of the pool, huh? Todd got it right when he said to me "If she wants to feel something, she should just fuck her husband..." which I am in total agreement about! At least then no more lives are lost in this lame storyline and Haley's character remains in tact. This version of Haley is the worst I've fucking seen her and not what I'd call entertainment.
Nathan was a waste of space in this episode because really, he did fuck all. I'm not even gonna get started on Jamie being in this so damn much either because I hate the little ferret... and lucky us, we get to have another James baby on the way because apparently that's the only fucking storyline that Mark wants to give Naley - they get boring, knock Haley up. I'm sure we all called this shit weeks ago when Mama James croaked - Haley would have a girl and name it after her Mom. I rolled my eyes when I saw that, and I just knew this show wasn't even going to try and redeem itself.
And who else thought that whole owl-thing was just pure shit? Like, there were no words for how stupid that was. Of course the idea came from dumb-ass Quinn, and I expect that stupidity from the shows poster-child airhead, but really Haley? Everything is going to be okay because your lame older sister believed your dead mom was reincarnated as an owl and you saw one?
What is this shit?
Speaking of airheads, Quinn James has got to be the biggest fail on this show (second or third only to perhaps Seyton herself and the garbage that was Pucas!) How dumb does a bitch have to be? Not only did I have to stop myself from chucking with all the "I love you" crap being thrown between Quinn and Clay, but how many times do I have to see that nasty hooker in a bikini on this damn show? I thought with snow and all I might be safe, but no, that tranny had to get her shit out all over my screen again and traipse through the bitter winter in front of an unsuspecting public? Word to the wise (cos clearly Mark needs help seeing properly) - Quinn ain't hot in the slightest, and if I want to stab my eyes out just to avoid seeing her stamp her skanky ass around, then clearly she doesn't belong on my damn screen!
Quinn James is nasty and as dumb as dog shit!
But maybe not as dumb as Brooke. After fawning over her lame-ass director boyfriend for the last four episodes, we got rewarded for our loyalty by watching her say "Yes" to what was perhaps the stupidest proposal I'd ever seen. Not only did the rock look like it had come out of a gumball machine, but he didn't even propose properly.
"Marry me, Brooke Davis."
Demanding much? I should have known when he gave her that ultimatum in season 6 he was fucking stupid and not about thinking of his woman, but Brooke Davis has wanted this for how long and that's what she gets? He gets down on his knee after demanding, and she said yes to that bullshit? So far that douche has only gotten one thing right this entire season - and that was his comment about his hair being mean because his forehead took up too much space. The rest of him and his story lines have been boring and useless, and the fact that he has managed to drag down the best character on this show and reduced her to a Seyton-esque doormat has got to be the biggest fucking tragedy this show has ever allowed to happen.
R.I.P Brooke Davis - it was good while it lasted!
So was there anything I actually liked?
Chase and Alex were surprisingly tolerable. Perhaps it's because he makes her seem semi-decent, or perhaps it was because she's not as annoying as fake-tits Mia. Either way, I should have known better than to start to possibly like them, because in true Seyton-style, Mia has come crawling back like the lame bitch she is and messing shit up. Seriously, what is with this show and hoes? Mia looks too disgusting now for me to even discuss (she should ask for her money back on that bad boob job), but I am seriously not in the mood for another triangle on this unoriginal show! Chase should pick Alex and send Mia back on tour with that loser Grubbs.
Mouth and Skills - at least Mouth chose his friend, but I'd seriously question his loyalty. Once a pig, always a pig - just ask Seyton! Also, I don't care about this story. At all.
So... what do we have? Another finale with lives hanging in the balance. Seriously, does Mark not sit down and consider how he ends his previous seasons or does he get his ideas off a cereal box? Look at this shit:
Season 1 - Dan and his heart attack.
Season 2 - Dan and the dealership fire.
Season 4 - Nathan, Lucas and Rachel in the lake.
Season 5 - Dan and his bad heart.
Season 6 - Seyton and her evil spawn.
Season 7 - Quinn and Clay shot.
I feel the only reason season 3 didn't get a finale with someone in mortal danger was because Keith croaked near the finale... same idea though. LAME LAME LAME!
And the network gave this shit another season to torture the public with? Mother fuckers! I mean, even Gossip Girl's finale scored higher ratings for their finale... wake up CW! This show is fucking crap and an eighth season is just embarrassing.
I miss The WB... back when television was good :(
So... what did I learn about this season in retrospect? Well, it appears Mark doesn't give a flying fuck about the loyal fans of the girls in this show. Unless you're a Seyton fan, you've got buckley's chance of your favorite chick character staying true to herself. Haley and her depression storyline was pure shit, and apparently it gets fixed with an owl and a bun in the oven.
Brooke Davis got swallowed into the abyss that is Julian Baker and hasn't been since. I'm considering posting LOST posters, but what would be the point? I don't feel like searching Julian's ass to find her, and we all know her lips have been attached to that thing for the past few episodes... so I'm coming to terms with the fact that Brooke Davis is gone. One Tree Hill is gone. The magic of Naley is gone... and my patience for this show is gone for good.
My only hope is that perhaps Quinn James can be gone too and we might have something to look forward to.
However, with the drama Haley has gone though lately, we all know that has a slim chance of happening. So what else is there to say except...
FUCK YOU MARK SCHWAHN!
Rant and rave peeps!
Toddian & Chrissy
8 comments:
Have you ever checked out Friday night lights?
Pretty similar premise to the original OTH, and more entertaining to watch than the last three seasons of Schwahn's crapfest.
I just finished watching grey's anatomy season finale and everyone knows that ga had some rough moments (sucky episode), but this finale was just crazy and of the chain. Maybe, Mark should start watching other shows so he can have some idea's for how to make his show grow. Because its still the same shit, love traingles, backstabbers and emo bullshit. You know everything that in Mark's opinion makes the perfect human being.
i didnt even watch, and now im glad i didnt...if i had to see Hales talking to random birds, get knocked up again, Quinn in her undies, Jamie jump around like a monkey on crack, and Brooke say yes to big heads proposal, i may have vomited.
although i AM happy to hear Quinn got capped. Hope she is mortally wounded.
Cheers-Jess.
Hey Toddian and Chrissy,
So I guess it's official.....One Crap Hill has been renewed for an 8th season. The fact that it was renewed goes to prove that Mark isn't the only fucked up asshole........turns out that the CW is just as fucked up for giving the douchebag another season for writing nothing but crappy, boring, and pointless storylines like he has been doing the past few seasons. Thinking about season 8 is already making me cringe.
Now as for the finale---------LAME and BORING as fuck. I would like for someone to explain to me why the fuck Quinn James aka the lamest actress on television had so much fucking screentime in the final episode of the season. The bitch was thrown in our faces every few fucking minutes. And to make it worse, Mark had the big nose bitch parade around in tiny little bikini's and dresses the entire episode. The skank looked liked a HOOKER the entire episode. I bet the fucking douchebag did it on purpose for 2 reasons:
1) Seeing as how the dumbass who plays Quinn has no damn clue what the hell acting really is, Mark decided to shove the bitches body down the viewers throats instead.
2) Mark secretly has a crush on her and purposely made her walk around half naked so he could go jerk off some where in the corner.
Like you guys said----If Mark really wants season 8 to be even the least bit successful, he will
KILL OFF QUINN JAMES!!!!!!!!!!!!
I hope he either kills her or puts her in a long ass coma for the majority of the season so we won't have to see this bitch.
Naley was boring as hell. Nathan seriously was a waste for the entire episode. All he did was stand around and not do much. And then there was Haley who was just annoying. Honestly, this depression storyline could've been great, but just like any storyline that has great potential, Mark ended up fucking this storyline as well. Haley's entire depression storyline consisted of her just staring off into space and not really doing much. There was barely any emotion or anything to keep most people even remotely interested. This version of Haley really was the worst I've ever fucking seen. And that whole owl thing was so damn LAMEEEEEEEEEE. Leave it to Pinocchio aka Quinn to come up with something so utterly stupid. I couldn't help but laugh when Haley "magically" felt better after taking one look at the damn owl.
And omg.....what had Mark fucking Schwahn done to our Brooke Davis??!! This is a woman who has always been strong, independent, and fierce. And it's as if Mark purposely set out this season to butcher one of the strongest characters on the network. Not only did she have very little screentime, but whatever screentime she did have consisted up her reassuring Julian about his movie. Seriously?? Brooke does not follow people around. Nor is she weak. But after this season, it makes me want to punch Mark in the face more than ever for turning her into a woman whose life revolves around nothing but her boyfriend.
Chase and Alex.......I'm sorry but can't stand either of them so that storyline was way too boring for me to even focus.
The only part of the episode I liked was when Katie shot Quinn(although she could've spared Clay, but then again, at this point, he gets on my nerves too). But is Quinn actually going to die? Doubt it seeing as how we all know by now that things seem to never go our way.
I really miss the WB as well. TV used to be so good back then as opposed to the CW which is full of shit.
Like you've guys already said, the only thing I can conclude with is by saying----
FUCK YOU MARK SCHWAHN!!!
Thomas - I have seen Friday Night Lights actually, and I enjoy it... total Tim fan! But the thing is, One Tree Hill was the best show on tv for me when it started, and I can't help but be tremendously disappointed in what it has become.
cocochanelgirl - Grey's Anatomy finale rocked - but did you think Meredith's miscarriage was completely random and out of place? Whatever, as long as Alex is okay I'm fine with it haha
Jess - You didn't miss much girly. I wish I could get that hour of my life back, for real. Oh well, back to banland we go girly <3
Jennifer - Guess we'll keep the ranting alive then since we have another season of bullshit to endure :( Seriously, I think we should petition to have that limp-dick mother fucker fired... fancy calling this lame-ass show entertainment? It blows my mind to think what other bullshit they could possibly come up with for this lame show... grrr.
The main advantage of Friday Night Lights is that they have no trouble letting characters go whose story has been told.
Think about it: Shows like OTH, FNL, the OC etc. are relationship dramas. There are no aliens, no mysterious islands, no crime scene investigations. There are only characters and their relationships with each other, and there is only so much you can do with a character before it becomes repetitive and boring.
That's why these shows never stay fresh for more than a few seasons. Schwahn's creativity in giving his characters new things to do ran out in season 4, since then he has been doing nothing but rehashing and replaying.
The audience is not buying these shows that drag on with no end. WB and UPN merged to combine their market share with their best shows and attack the big four (ABC NBC CBS and FOX). Now their combined market share is smaller than that of just WB a few years ago. Remember when OTH hat more than 4 million viewers? They have lost half their audience by now. Gossip Girl is at 2 million viewers, Veronica Mars (a far superior show than either two) was cancelled at 2.5 million viewers because these ratings were considered bad a few years ago.
I suspect they are already shitting in their pants at the CW, because next year, Smallville and Supernatural finally end their runs and all there will be left in their portfolio is crap like OTH, GG and rehashes of 90ies soap operas.
Agreed.
Although if you ask me, season 4 was total bullshit. They used it only as a means of pimping the failed relationship of Pucas and assassinating the characters of Brooke and Nathan because people hated Peyton and Lucas.
The whole thing was a giant FAIL!
Plus don't even get me started on the hair...
I totally agree with everything you said in this blog, I mean what happened to strong, fearless Brooke Davis?! And what happened to Baley friendship? I hope Sophia leaves the show, maybe then she can do something other than being julian's personal cheerleader. The show should've ended in Season 4, sure Brucas were not together, but better than dragging it to 7 seasons, where 4 of these seasons totally sucked. (season 4-7)
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