So, did I watch this fucking boring ass show?
Hell Nah… I can already guess that Julian keeps shoving his removable balls up his own ass (yes fucking himself over) when it comes to Brooke. I hear he supposedly slept with Alex (MAYBE) well, hasn’t this storyline been done 100 times… Season 3 Brucas/Seyton Cry’s A lot with that sagging face and popeyed SaWhore at the sparkle classic or whatever, or Mouth and Gigi season 5 or 6 – I’m not sure seeing ass usually I chose that time to pluck random hairs from my ass crack.
Yes, Yes… and I’m sure Moonfaced Quinn allowed us to see that droopy pelican Nose blow out booger chunks as she whined or cried about something? No, well first time for everything except great acting ((cause we know we will never get that from that amateur kiddie actress))?
My point is why petition… and yes there is a petition to keep this show alive … when we get nothing in return?
Did Haley and Nathan actually talk about Haley’s dying mom? Did Brooke find her brain wherever its been hiding and use Julian – who is about as useful as thin ass one ply tissue – to wipe his shitty existence from her ass? … probably/probably not, but at this point I could watch a Dan tongue Victoria and be less disgusted.
This show has turned to shit! Well, actually its been shitty since season 3 ended, but damn it do people really think that I or any one else with sense is gonna sign a fucking petition to keep this shit on air? Um, NO FUCKING WAY! Not until we the people who kept this suckass show alive with any payoff, get our just due!
1. UNTIL JULIAN and ALEX are dead, well Mark and company can gargle my balls and their own for that matter! I’m tired of Brooke being shitted on because Mark’s dick can’t grow and inch past his pinky and he can’t man up and admit she pawned his pet characters (ie Seyton and Now QuinNasty)!
2. GIVE BROOKE a GOOD MAN and a MOTHER FUCKING STORYLINE! I don’t care if he comes about a fucking cereal box, just give the girl what she wants so I can see those gorgeous dimples again. Sophia Bush is an awesome actress for being able to endure this abuse and actually not use the same crying face like some has-been OTH ex-character that I know.
3. UM… can Haley for once not have to share the spotlight with anyone?
4. Can Baley be real friends and please stop mentioning Seyton the Wonder Slut!
5. CLAY must stay away from Seyton incarnate aka QuinNasty Harlot from hell! This chick could suck the out of fucking ward of newborns! Lifeless she-demon! Go mooch off some poison and die, you useless character! Who the hell uses their dead mom to get a fucking studio…?
What did she say?
Quinn: Oh Mom, you are going to die? Then who will I mooch from when Haley removes the dumb stick Mark Schwahn currently shoved up her ass?
MOM: I don’t know you dumb fuck! I’m just hear to be killed off so that people watch for Haley even though it will show case you. How about I just give you a studio even though I sold all my property season 1 to live in an RV with my dead husband that was never mentioned – EVER!
Excreta…. And until our Demands and others are met, why should we petition. And judging by what Chris told me about this new episode, nothing is gonna change.
***
Douchebags and Hookers on Parade
I think that must be the name of Alex's script, plus that's the only way I can describe that attempt of entertainment I had to endure tonight. What a pile of shit! That being said, there were a couple of things that I actually didn't mind in the crap that was this episode, but they were few and far between and let's be honest - no one wants to sift through shit to find something worthwhile... likelihood is, it's all just stinky shit in the end.
But in the name of fairness and rational thought (something Mark knows nothing about, clearly), let me just get these semi-decent aspects of the episode off my chest before I spiral into the inevitable ass-kicking I'm about to dish on Mark-hole Schwahn-bitch.Firstly, Bethany Joy killed it tonight! Can I just say, that chick really knows how to pull off a tortured look. I mean really, she nailed every scene she was in tonight, which is pretty inspiring considering she also directed the episode, so props to her. I also liked Bess Armstrong in this episode.
It feels like we're gonna lose her soon and it's a shame because she can act circles around the fluff that is portraying her lame daughter Quinn. But Mark was never one to recognize talent - he did hire Hilarie after all based on his weird man-crush... pervy freak!Secondly, it was nice to see Nathan standing by his wife, taking the back seat to let Haley's storyline take front and center and even the kind words he had with Lydia were pretty cool.
It's a tough job trying to get me to appreciate Nathan's character (I only ever liked him season 1 and 2/3 when he was angry and giving either Lucas or Haley hell)... but tonight, I kinda dug him. Just a little. I'm sure it's just a passing phase though... and I have to add, even though it's probably mean and I did like him tonight, did anyone else crack up when they saw Nathan sitting on that damn couch reading a book? Playbook I might have bought, but Nathan ACTUALLY reading a book voluntarily... erm, no. Sorry dude.
You're a dumbass, that's why Haley tutored you. Don't think we forgot that.Finally, the last great thing about tonight's episode, and probably the best thing all-round - LIMITED QUINN!
Thank fucking god! I saw the heavens open and shine a beam of light when I realized I had gone through the show and only managed to see her a handful of times! It was nice that my up-chuck reflex was allowed to rest a little tonight when it comes to that pathetic excuse for a woman. I did cringe during the scenes with Clay though because that fucking pair have ZERO chemistry, but all in all, her lack of appearance really did the show some good!
What I find particularly hilarious though is the blank look she has on her face when she's trying to do emotional scenes - I swear she is trying to channel the bug-eyed look of Peyton but gets lost trying to think too hard on it and her face just freezes up like a mug shot of an arrested hooker on crack. Speaking of hookers, what the hell was she wearing in her new studio? Slut Barn must still be in business...
Well she is a slut... maybe she went into business with that free studio the slut mooched off her dead mom?
Yeah Quinn, real arty and deep with that get up. Smashed crab is you. I find it especially funny that in the three second scene Clay had with wifey-look-alike "Katie", I actually saw some purpose to him and reasons why he was hired. ((You mean other than to help beavers build dams with those chisled teeth?)) He had more chemistry in those three seconds with "Katie" than he has ever had with the multitude of visual punishing we have had to endure when his life is drained by Quinn. Quinn/Clay = epic fail!
Now... On to the ranting.
FUCK YOU MARK SCHWAHN YOU LIMP DICK MOTHER FUCKER!
Seriously? Seriously? What the fuck is so wrong with you that you feel it so necessary to annihilate Brooke and turn her into this needy, chasing dumb-shit? She is totally losing her pride by running after Julian. Brooke Davis is NOT like that! What happened to that character building we've seen these past 6 seasons? Did you just decide to forget that she has a fucking backbone and wouldn't put up with this shit?Let's go over this, shall we?Lucas - Although I loved Brucas, Brooke held the upper hand in this relationship. He had to fight for her and when she was done, it was done. Finito. End of story. Run to your second choice Peyton cos Brookie don't want ya!
Owen - Kicked his ass to the curb when he couldn't commit. No qualms, no seconds thoughts, no pity.
Felix - Dumped his ass and fired up when he hurt her friend (and I used that term lightly because we all know Peyton is anything but!) Either way, he was no match!
Peyton - Slapped that bitch stupid anytime she stepped out of line.
Victoria - Fired her own mother when she was treating her like garbage.
X - Kicked that bitch's ass when he came after Sam......and I'm supposed to believe that Julian is so magical that she subjects herself to his shit without so much as a fight?
Hell fucking no!
That little flat-headed ferret is so self-involved that he is using his ex girlfriend to pimp himself as a director and inflate that already giant head of his. I wanted to scream bloody murder what that fuck-stick through some lines at poor Brooke...
"I don't remember telling you to stay out of my way." - Uhm, wake up you fucking moron, clearly that giant head of yours is full of air because when you break up with someone, that's exactly the message you're sending them!
Come here/go away, come here/go away - make up your damn mind you prick!
"At least they're going for it!" - What the fuck? Maybe they meant going for the biggest Douche Bag without a brain or a dick award?
Brooke is hanging off you in a bid to get your attention, even though you are the massively big-headed, tiny-packing ass-wipe who sent her on her way, and you dare throw that line in her face like she's not going for it. Arrogant, self-centered pig! Go roll in the mud with that boar Alex and squeal like the little bitch you are.
"When Brooke puts up a wall..." - No fuck-head, it's actually more the case of "When Julian puts up a wall of slutty wannabe actresses who prefer blows of every kind than actually being a woman of substance and I moronically choose them over my perfect girlfriend..."(Julian's a Pussy... maybe he wants to get close to alex so he can kill her, steal her identity, and become a woman. Lord knows he already lacks balls... :D)
I've had it with that good-for-nothing piece of shit. I felt for Brooke when she took that chance and found a naked Alex in his bed - that dude has serious mental issues. Like, the face explains it all now - he's a dumb-fuck! I just want him to die a horrible, slutty, std-infected death. I hope he did sleep with Alex, because the chances of his dick falling off after a ride in that lemon are fairly high.
Speaking of Alex being a lemon, Alexander is the bomb! ((Yeah Julian, Alexander is the Bomb Like Tick! Tick! You shit head, inflatable head having bastard!))
I clapped and cheered when he practically told her she was useless in the sack, stating he had done all the work. Preach it, brother! And then to add insult to injury he totally tells her chances are no one will see the film. Well, shove that down your gagging throat you good-for-nothing slore! But then what do we see? Alex gets to have the feistiness that is missing from my Brookie? I'm sorry Mark, but no one can do feisty like Brooke Davis, so you might as well shove your face back up your rectum and sniff a little longer, ‘cos your shit stinks!
I'm not even going to discuss Jamie. I don't care for him, don't care for his sorrow about Grandma, just plain don't care. Call me harsh or whatever... but that little freak annoys me. Next!Hmm, what else?
Victoria taking a lover? GROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSSSSSSS!
Having it be Julian's dad? Kinda funny scene because that woman is growing on me... however standing her up at the end of the show, that was bullshit. I think Markhole has an issue with these Davis women and is in need of some therapy... possibly the medicated kind ‘cos it seems like the dude is out of his damn mind!
Millicent/Owen/Mouth/Lauren - YAWN.
I liked Owen in this episode, even though he was channeling wolfman. Yeah he's a douche for leaving Brooke when she went all "baby mama" on him, but I guess I can understand the hesitation. Tonight he redeemed himself for me and the fact that he is a thorn in Mouth's side is awesome. I think Mouth just needs to fuck off already because I was really disgusted by him and Lauren. I mean really Mouth, are you that fucking retarded? Haley gives a speech about making every moment count by being with the one you love...
and you turn up at Lauren's house? MARKs back on the CRACK ALERT! CRACK ALERT!
You really are a dumb fuck.
I may hate Brulian, but at least Brooke got the hint. You, on the other hand, are just a stupid a-hole. That being said, I don't give a fuck about Mouth, Millie or Lauren, so whatever. Fast forward for me!At the end of the episode I was left feeling that familiar disappointed feeling that seems to be synonymous with One Tree Hill these days. I miss the days of great writing and characters with depth! I miss when the main characters were propped by the lesser characters.
I miss when the sub-characters disappeared after their story was obviously done. I miss the originality of the show. I miss the characters being who they are, not alien versions of themselves.
I MISS ONE TREE HILL!
This shit we're being dished up in NOT One Tree Hill... recycled storylines can suck dick as far as I'm concered. Mark Schwahn has lost it... his talent pool has dried up and I'm guessing he'll be crying in the corner like a baby when he realizes that no one will want to dedicate an episode to him as a director because he just plain sucks donkey balls.Anyway, that's it for me and this failed episode.
Agree? YES! Disagree? FUCK KNOW! Throwing shit at your television too? Yep and Mu lunch with my mouth! Muhahaha!
Rant away amigos...
Later peeps!
Chrissy & Toddian
Much Love Homies
4 comments:
Hey Toddian and Chrissy,
Was this weeks episode any better than the crapfest we’ve had to endure for the past several seasons? HELL NO. So Chrisy……I agree. Mark Schwahn is the world’s biggest idiot and this show sucks balls……no wait...it sucks donkey balls.
So I think its petty safe to assume that you both were laughing your ass off when you learned that some idiots have actually started a fucking petition to renew One Crap Hill for another fucking season. I actually threw up a little in my mouth when I saw the petition. There is NO fucking chance in hell I would ever sign that piece of shit. I hope to God, that this show is FINALLY canceled after this season is done and we can kiss it GOOD-BYE forever.
The actress Bess Armstrong was amazing in this episode. She’s been doing her storyline justice and when she unleashes her emotions, they seem so real and believable. It really sucks that her time on OTH is coming to an end. It just amazes me the way Haley, Taylor and their mom have been rocking their scenes…….and then you have Big Nose aka Quinn who is so fucking dreadful to watch, that it makes me wanna just slam her head into a wall or something. Her scenes her cringe worthy. It goes to show that when Mark chose that no good actress to play the role of Quinn, he didn’t bother checking to see if the trainwreck could actually act or not. He probably just took a look at her legs(that she just lovessss showing off) and flirted with him some and got the role. Because this girl is NOT talented. When she cries, the bitch looks so damn fake and just stands there with an ordinary expression……I guess waiting for some talent to seep into her……but unfortunately never did and never will. Thank God, that her scenes were limited and I didn’t have to cringe my way throughout the entire episode like I did for the first half of season 7.
I definitely agree about the ZERO chemistry between Quinn and Clay. Those two together make me wanna vomit. I couldn’t help but laugh when we got that brief moment between Clay and “Katie.” I saw more chemistry between those two in those 10 seconds then I have between Quinn and Clay this entire season. Clay and Quinn together as a couple are a complete joke….just like Pucas.
You know I realized just how big of an idiot Mark is in last nights episode. I mean I’ve always known that Mark is a complete imbecile……but last night made me realize how retarded the guy really is for not choosing the girl who played Sara, Clay’s ex-wife, to play the part of Quinn instead. I remember watching those scenes between Clay and Sara and thinking that the couple had potential and they looked good together. Yet, Mark choose Big Nose to play Quinn instead who seems to know absolutely NOTHING about acting.
I don’t even know what Nathan’s purpose in this show is anymore. He just stands there and serves as a prop to Haley and Jamie all the time. I don’t even know what to say about him at this point.
Now moving on……I agree that Mark is nothing but a bastard. The fucking douche bag is tearing down Brooke’s character. Brooke Davis doesn’t sit around moping over a guy and nor does she let people walk all over her. She’s fun, sassy, tough, strong and feisty. Its like Mark is set out to make Brooke unlikeable. But he can just fuck off because he can do whatever the fuck he wants to do with her character but she will always be my FAVORITE and the same applies for many other Brooke fans as well. I hate what he’s doing her, and although it pisses me off to no end, I still love Brooke Davis because I know it isn’t the characters fault that Mark is so fucking obsessed with screwing her over.
And great job on listing the way Brooke has NEVER let anyone tear her down or walk all over her by giving us all those examples Chrissy. Mark aka Douche bag Schwahn doesn’t seem to recall his very own writing.
The best part of this show is Joy Galieotti(Haley) everyone else sucks including your Goddess Sophia Bush!
Oh and I stumbled upon this and you guys are a bunch of freaks.
^^
For the person who wrote the two comments aboove me-----The BEST part of this show is SOPHIA BUSH. Your hate makes so much sense now. Especially seeing as how the ONLY people who know Joy are the ones who watch the show whereas numerous people who've never even heard of OTH know who the hell Sophia Bush is and love her to death. So your bitterness completely makes sense now. Clearly your pissed that Joy doesn't even get half of the recognition that Sophia does. So go cry about it elsewhere and fuck off you freak. No one on this blog ever bad talked Joy or Sophia because those two are the only ones that know what they're doing on the show, yet dumbass idiots like you go and have to start a war about who is better.
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