Can We Seriously Weather This Storm?

One Episode to prove OLD SCHOOL ONE TREE HILL was GENIUS!

And this shit they make us watch now just isn't in the same league. It isn't even in the same vicinity as being in the same league.

What do I mean? It's simple. It's hurricane season in Tree Hill - but Season 3 did it so much better that this shit-fest was just pissing all over it's memory! With the pouring rain, Naley together, feisty Brooke having a fight with her boyfriend... it had all the makings of the hurricane in season 3. We should have been excited. It should have been a great episode. It wasn't.

This week's episode SHOULD have been better. I know that's assuming A LOT and perhaps even giving too much credit to this shit fest of a show, but let's be honest - with none of the extras, and no Clay/Quinn puke-worthy scenes, statistically this week's episode SHOULD have been better.

But alas, like many weeks passed, this week's episode of One Crap Hill left little to be desired. So let's go through this bullshit show so we can get on with our lives!

As usual, it can be broken down into parts, mostly because these characters have no idea how to interact with anyone other than their partner in crime. Either that or the writers are just too lazy to give these characters storylines with plots that revolve around anyone except their partner.

So we had Naley. They watched their rodent son in a spelling bee. He lost it on purpose cos he has a crush on the girl-friend who was against him. Not cute enough for me to dig this storyline. Anyway, so basically he came second, they said how happy and proud they were of their fug spawn and then let him drive home with his teacher. In a hurricane. Wow. Then, they get a flat tire and reminisce on their past moments in stormy weather (back when they were hot and not boring) and then failed to give us ANY sex because Haley's is pregnant. Pregnant women get horny too, just FYI you stupid writers. That is about the extent of their whole stroyline until the final minutes. Riveting it was not.

Then we had Quinn. I could say we had Clay, but we didn't. They had a phone call, he can't get home in the rain, and we know since crazy-Katie was on her way back to Tree Hill for some ungodly reason, a showdown is on it's way. Quinn is gonna win. She will get over her nightmares. she will be magically healed. Hoorah. As predicted, it turned out exactly this way. Crazy Katie had some decent one-liners (I appreciated that they actually showed what a dumb-ass Quinn was following her around when we find out Katie knew all along she had done so and was coming after her). Basically, if the idiot had have left it to the authorities Katie would have been none-the-wiser that she was in fact, still alive. Anyway, we have a very Scream-Movie-ish scene played out, stabbings in the leg, kickings in the sides of the body, crashing over balconies into pools... and eventually, Quinn gets poetic justice by shooting Katie in the same room, in the same way, that Katie shot her. Crazy doesn't die of course, because Quinn is a "better person" than Katie and will no longer let her haunt her.

Personally, I would have shot her in the fucking head, but bitches in horror movies these days are nothing but stupid. At one point, Quinn was in a moving, locked car. She should have just run over the bitch.

Quinn is one fucking dumbass broad!

At any rate, this pathetic storyline is over and now doubt, after the break, we're gonna have to deal with Clay taking care of his love, and Quinn being the hero. Gag me now, this show fucking sucks.

Then we have Brooke and Julian. This couple just grinds on my nerves. I know Mr Nichols took on the job for real-life leading lady Sophia, but damn, they just do NOT have the same chemistry that Sophia and Chad had. There is magic missing in these two. Their movements and interactions are robotic, lifeless and unbelievable. And it's not just the way they are written, although that in itself was horrid. Brooke rushes out into a storm because she and Julian are fighting about moving to LA. I actually looked at Brooke and for the first time in the whole Boolian relationship sham, I was on HIS side. What a selfish, little brat! This man has his faults, but he DID move to Tree Hill away from his home, friends, family and work in L.A because SHE missed him. SHE had work in Tree Hill and SHE wanted to be there. He moved for HER. But yet this little bitch wouldn't even entertain the idea of moving back to L.A, which would be better for him and more job opportunities for her, because her life is in Tree Hill. Her home is in Tree Hill.

Apparently her life is more important than his. What a little shit. Brooke sucks balls these days. Still liking that "Brooke Bubble" Julian, you big foreheaded freak?

Anyway, clever Davis runs off into a storm. A hurricane to be precise. Driving around like a crazy lady who has lost her brain (aka Brooke pimping Pucas season 5). She stumbles across Miss Lauren's turned over car, extracts all but Jamie from inside, and sends them in her car for help.

(Yes, she let Miss Lauren drive two kids in her car even though she had a head injury and possible concussion. - JOKE!)

Jamie is stuck in his seat belt and Brooke stays with him. She uses some scissors in her make up bag to cut the belt that won't move. They discuss life and all the other boring, contrived bullshit people apparently think about in these situations. Hero Julian comes along just in time to see another car railroad their car from behind and send them plunging into the rushing river below. The water is shallow though, and not rising. The jerk car who hit them races off. Julian jumps over the bridge and into the water, much like Nathan in the season 3 finale (season 3 - you just can't beat it) and starts trying to help them out of the car. Of course, for the dramatic effect, the levy breaks and water comes rushing in. Saint Brooke forces Julian to get Jamie out first, and in spite of his heavy protests, he does so then comes back for her. However he is too late and although he is breatjing air from his mouth into ehrs (as she is now under water), she basically drowns. As he finally gets her free (she had her legs pinned under the steering column which was unbelievable since when the car got hit from behind and sent into the river, she was actually sitting on the driver's side window and not near the steering column), he drags her up to the road and starts CPR. Jamie watches from the edge of the bridge, sad for Aunt Brooke. This is of course when Naley turn up and see their zhombie son drenched and on the side of the road. They jump out and he tells them Aunt Brooke is dead. They get him into the car then watch in horror as Julian screams his "No" and "Brooke" repeatedly and it's all very dramatic. Julian gives up his CPR, Haley starts crying, Nathan looks glum, then magically Julian sees Brooke's hand twitch and he starts CPR again. Cough, splutter, gag later... Brooke is saved.

Was I moved? Not in the slightest. This is where the episode ended. THAT was when I was moved because it meant I was fucking FREE!

So what happens next? That's Julian's question for everyone, but it's actually my question for the writers. This episode was boring. In contrast to the raw emotion and power in the season 3 hurricane storyline, this one fell so far below where it should have been. There was no emotion in it. there was no character development. There was no common sense. Brulian fight was stupid to say the least. Naley's lack of chemistry (if that was even possible) made them more boring than usual. Quinn acting like a hardcore hero wasn't believable. In fact, the whole episode was a contrived mess.

But what happens next?

Usually when shows go on break (and this was the last episode until the show resumes in January or whenever it is they decide to come back) they at last have a cliffhanger. Something to bring the viewers back. But what is there?

Quinn has defeated Katie. Naley have NO drama. Brooke survived and Julian will stay in Tree Hill. There was no Alex, Chase, Mia, Mouth, Millicent, Victoria, Clay... it was dry. Dead. There is NOTHING left for this show.

My guess is they're gonna rely on Brooke's wedding, but after her stupid fight with Julian I just don't buy this couple. At all. There is nothing about them that is interesting. there is nothing about Naley that is interesting. There has never been anything about Quinn and Clay that is interesting. There is nothing to bring viewers back and I think that was extremely poor writing on the writer's behalf. Very badly done.

So what did we learn from this week's "dramatic" episode?

Absolutely nothing. How's that for fucking bullshit?

Rant and rave people,

Toddian & Chrissy.