Welcome to the Clay & Quinn Show

And they thought this was going to get them ratings? Someone needs some common sense, pronto!

Okay, it's official. I wanna know who is in charge of Mark's brain now that Seyton has left the building? I spent six seasons getting used to it being all about Peyton and her happy ending, her happy life, her not paying for the skanky moves and backstabbing actions she committed throughout the series. Mark Schwahn had a boner for Hilarie and we all knew it. Hell, she probably sucked him off daily just to get things done her way. But how on Earth did the succubus Quinn manage to get everything to be about her?

Perhaps he really does have a thing for anorexic, duck-faced bitches?

So once again we're back for round three of the painful eighth series of One Lame Hill. I have to admit, this particular episode made me angrier than the previous two and I cannot believe Mark thinks he is so above and beyond reproach that he thought this lump of crap was actually worth the 44 minutes of my life it consumed. I would have been better off dedicating that time to picking my nose than enduring this pathetic excuse for a show.

What made me so angry? I think it was partly due to the fact that this whole episode seemed to move the story forward all of maybe, 4 inches. Not even a dick from the heavens would be satisfying at that size! Seriously, we are no better off at the end of this episode than we were the end of the previous one. It stuck us in a stale, non-mobile state of watching the most boring couple on the show take center stage with their drama that really, let's face it, no one gives two flying fucks about!

So, we endured Haley and Nathan expressing their feelings for the entire episode. Unfortunately, as sweet as some of their scenes were, they were ALL centered around Clay and Quinn. To watch every single character that appeared today have their story dictated by this chemistry-lacking couple, who barely know the majority of them, was beyond ridiculous. But on top of that, the whole Naley storyline seemed to have ceased when it came to her sister and his manager. So basically, the majority of scenes were set in the hospital, but neither the conversations or interactions had any real impact on the show. Honestly, they were pretty much boring throughout.

I was excited to see Nathan at the hospital in a previous episode - and now we find out his back is degenerating. Interesting, but yet again, Nathan's storyline is focused on basketball. The worst part? His admission was put on the back burner for the rest of the episode because it had no bearing on Clay and Quinn's storyline. We got a whole two minutes dedicated to it before Clay was mentioned again. Since when have Naley's storylines EVER been less important than a couple like Quinn and Clay? Oh that's right, since season 7 when this fucking absurdity began. Really, they were probably the most enlightening part of the whole episode, and it's become abundantly clear, that only the hardcore Naley fans are the ones excited to see this show week in and week out. I think even they would have been pissed off at the episode this week.

Then we have the drama with COB, Brooke, Millicent and Victoria. So, Victoria is off to jail instead of Brooke and she gets to keep her company. Funny how people were going nuts at Brooke for trusting her mother and calling her a dumbass on the CW boards. I'd like to see their Mom go to the slammer for them. Bitches. Although, I have to admit that this seems like a fair punishment, as it was actually Victoria who did it. Perhaps Millicent should get into trouble too though, since she forged just as many signatures, or at least knew about what was going down. Conspiracy, I believe they call it. However, the only thing that actually annoyed me about this particular storyline, was the fact that due to the immense time spent of having the characters run around Quinn and Clay like ferrets on crack for the entire episode, this storyline was only dedicated ten minutes of the ep in total. Someone like Victoria, who has been around longer than Quinn and Clay, went to prison and the writers could give two shits about that.

There's a reason you only got 1.9mil last week... time to wake up to yourselves, don't ya think?

Add to that, Brooke and Julian babysat Jamie for the day, and they had a few scenes together that spoke about their situation, but honestly, their screen time was so limited that anything they said was not pivotal to the storyline. It went nowhere. And the mentioning of them being good parents by Chubby Checker Scott makes me wonder why adoption hasn't been addressed? Or fostering, since Brooke took care of Sam and Angie. We get that this storyline isn't going away - so fucking do something with it. Don't rush it at the end and make it another copy of the lame celebrity couple who bought their baby.

Although I was grateful for the limited Julian.

What else pissed me off? Oh right, the blatant stealing of storylines. Patrick Swayzee would be turning in his grave at the fact that Mark Schwahn STOLE the idea of Ghost for this episode. Really, Ghosts talking to one another, helping each other out? Stuck between living and dying completely.

And who else just KNEW that the Will dude helping him out was gonna die and then TA DA, he's an organ donor.

BITCH PUH-LEASE! Just like I said on the CW boards - Y&R called and they want their unbelievable soap opera storylines back!

Like really, not only are we supposed to believe that some bitch gets shot, lays there bleeding out for 12 hours but miraculously wakes up the next day - but now we're supposed to believe that the guy that got shot with her, bled out for twelve hours, had failing kidneys and needed a transplant, got put on life support cos his organs were shutting down and he couldn't breathe on his own... is alive and kicking a week later?

BITCH PUH-LEASE x 2! This may be your version of heaven Quinn-tessential-idiot James, but this is our kind of soap digest HELL!

More annoying traits of the episode? Oh right, apparently not only are we subjected to Haley writing to Lucas at the beginning of every episode (I'm sorry, but you cannot replace the originality of Lucas Scott voiceovers, get a clue dickheads), but Mark thinks apparently messing with the new theme song is some genius, artistic idea. Who else wanted to turn it down for not only the sheer volume (we get it - crap still sounds crap at high decibels) but for how shameful it is to mess with Gavin's song like that? Bad move, Marky Mark. The Funky Bunch writers of yours let us down big time.

Fucking with a theme song is like Pucas - it just ain't right!

And Mouth and Millicent - awkward moment and then no addressing the storyline again for the rest of the episode. It was like a drive by shooting, only no aftermath. I was about to say "What the Fuck" but then realized that the storyline was focused on some other steaming turd-pile couple and my senses returned. Or my gag-reflex - it was one of the two.

Speaking of steaming turds, having Mouth podcast throughout the episode may have paid homage to previous years, but really, again - you cannot replace Lucas Scott narration with someone like Marvin McFadden throwing out sports quotes and eventually linking them all to Clay. Apparently, we need overly-obvious analogies to understand what Mark was trying to convey this episode. And what is with people repeating each other's lines? Once or twice is artistic - continually all episode is just plain annoying. We're not slow, and although our sanity is questionable because we subject ourselves to this bullshit out of some sense of loyalty, we're not crazy - we don't need to be told what is happening throughout the episode like we're toddlers trying to understand.

The good points - no mention of Seyton (HURRAH - FINALLY!), and no Alex/Chase and that FUG PUG Mia. It was a nice change. Although honestly, I would have settled for them and their stupid storyline over Clay and Quinn. Now that both are alive and well, maybe they can fuck off from my screen for a while and give my poor, tortured eyes a rest? Would we ever be so lucky?

So, at the end of the rubbish episode, I'm left doing two things. Going ape-shit on the cw at fuckers who bitch at me for wanting this show cancelled (you like it, so how stable are you, really?), and ranting to you people, the ones who actually have a brain and will speak the truth to the very end.

Oh, and FYI to all those crazies who keep begging to have Chad and Hil come back - Chad just signed onto a new movie, so not sure sure about your chances for that one. And yes, there IS a huge grin on my face right now!

So rant and rave people!

Much love,

Toddian and Chrissy

If Only This WAS a Dream - The Nightmare of OTH Continues...

DREAM SEQUENCES DIDN'T PREVENT THIS SHOW FROM BEING ONE NIGHTMARE TO WATCH!

So in the wake of the Sophia-Gate Scandal, OTH returned with it's second installment of shit shovelling for the new season last night. I admit, I came into this week not giving two shits about anything concerning this show anymore. Never-the-less, due to this blog and the many of you who come and rant to us each week so faithfully, here we are once again voicing our opinions of the farce that is OTH. So here's the LOWdown (and we mean low, cos this show is just utter garbage now) on what happened in that wasted hour of my life.

Of course, we go no further than one and half minutes and already Lucas and Peyton's names are mentioned. Honestly, I nearly gave up on this bullshit right then and there. I seemed to remember this fug, limp-dick tv writer/producer known as Mark Douchebag Schwahn reiterating last season that constantly bringing up Lucas and Peyton would be a detriment to the show because it needed to start fresh, move on and survive in spite of their departures. Well, guess that went down the shitter along with his creativity. Once again we are subjected to a melancholy Haley explaining to Lucas just how much she misses the dickhead who didn't bother to turn up to her mother's funeral. She misses the fake-blonde bulimic bitch (Lindsay Strauss, amen to you sister) who basically did jack crap to make Haley's life ANY better, and she misses other past characters who have died, moved on and left this steaming turd of a show in the dust. Yes, their names needed to be mentioned because...

*insert crickets*.

Is it really necessary to mention any of these lifetime-movie-bound degenerates anymore? Seriously, we DON'T give a fuck! After throwing countless people our way in order to replace them, it seems rather stupid to be bringing them back up now to pimp a show that many people have abandoned. Seriously, there are only two possible outcomes for this: the anti-LP fans will roll their eyes and curse the high heavens for even mentioning the gruesome twosome, and the Pukers will cry out in despair for teasing them with the obvious name drops.

MOVE THE FUCK ON!

And apparently because we didn't get enough of the overly-sad and emotional Haley last season, it is of course the now pregnant Mrs Nathan Scott who stumbles upon the bodies of her sister and Clay. Not even the attempt at fancy camera work and eerie music could stop me from laughing at the scene. Of all people to find them, it had to be Haley. I thought she was gonna run and throw herself off the side off the balcony. But for some reason, she held it together. Yes, apparently watching your Mom get the chance to say goodbye and pass on with her whole family surrounding her is much more traumatic that seeing your sister shot and bleeding out on the floor. Excuse me while I roll my eyes at this. Not to mention, twelve hours plus after the shooting they find them, and we're supposed to believe Quinn wakes up that same day? I'm sorry, but constantly having people say "It's a miracle they're even alive" doesn't change the fact that this storyline is complete horse shit!

I had to admit though, I found myself getting into the dream sequences. The lines were great, the scenery was beautiful, having Ghost Quinn and Clay figure out what happened to them and watching over their friends was really nice... until that sense of deja-vu set in and I realized this fucking storyline is so played out they have buskers in the street playing it for loose change! Really, Clay is going to take on the role of Keith and guide Quinn (who has taken on the role of Lucas/Karen/Dan), through the events and reasons as to why she needs to go back to the people who need her? Really Mark, THIS is what you get paid for? Hell, why don't we summon Demi Moore and see if they did it as well as Patrick Swayze did in Ghost back in 1990. This storyline is an EPIC FAIL!

Then moving on to Brooke's story lines, which are just as boring (but at least not romantically). So your Mom forged your name on documents that could get you sent to prison. And Millicent knew about it. And chucking a tantrum in the back office of your store is really going to help with that. I'm sorry, but as an owner of a company you need to have better business sense than that. I knew people were going to jump ALL OVER her line about being spoken to like a twelve, then eight year old. Honestly Sophia, you sure you want to claim input on this character? She's getting DUMBER by the minute. She gets props ONLY for the Baley scenes. They felt like a glimmer of the old school OTH and have been few and far between. Unfortunately, the huge gaps between seeing them have made them lose their appeal and they just don't have the same spark anymore.

Speaking of failed sparks, I was more than happy to have limited Boolian scenes. Julian and Jamie together were great - I got to skip through two of the most annoying characters on the show at the same time! Seriously though, I am so sick of hearing about what a dag Julian was in high school. Get the fuck over it, freak! I know these writers want it to seem like a fairytale that the nerd can get the popular girl later in life, but damn, I just cannot see Julian as anything other than a big-foreheaded mongrel who abused Brooke abominably in season 6 in regards to Alex and his precious script, and paid no restitution for it. He got a Seyton Free-Pass! WHAT THE FUCK? And now because he hangs out with a kid all day and starts acting like a sad, pathetic loser I'm supposed to like him again? Wrong, dickheads! Also, abusing the "Pretty Girl" name again still won't deter from the fact that...

PRETTY GIRL AND BOYFRIEND ARE BROOKE DAVIS AND LUCAS SCOTT, MOTHER FUCKERS!

ALWAYS HAS BEEN, ALWAYS WILL BE!

No matter who else uses those nicknames, they will always belong to them. You cannot kill the memory, so quit trying to, you jealous bastards!

So what else happened in this non-event of an episode? Right, Mouth and Millicent finding mutual understanding in how pathetic they both are (you just KNOW they are heading back down THAT path of lameness again!) Mia being a troll as per usual, only this time she actually admitted she was the cause of her break-up with Chase. Still, had to call Alex a bitch, didn't you? Serious case of hypocrisy there you butt-sniffing crack whore. I would rant further but I don't give enough of a damn to go through this inane storyline of Alex/Chase and Mia. Honestly, who gives a fuck?

But I do have to say... the man love this episode was a little disturbing. Nathan and Clay - there was always the vibe and this week we got the "I Love Yous." But nothing was more disturbing than Mouth and Chase and the knotted cherry tie that literally made me look at Mouth like he was some horny, old freak who was about to commit disgusting acts in public. EEEW! Get that fucking shit off my screen!

So, what are my parting words? Honestly, it goes to those bastard freaks on the CW lounge who told me "IN YOUR FACE" in a thread that wanted season 8 cancelled. Naturally, I was all for it, but they argued that I was delusional and not a true fan because the first episode raked in over 2.2 million and that was up on the end of last season.

FYI Dumbshits - 2.2 million is STILL ABYSMAL! But not as bad as the 1.9 million it got for last night's episode, so to all you little ass fuckers out there who jumped on me for my opinion, suck on that fat juicy one you dickheads! Muahahahahahahaha!

Also, lastly, congratulations to the 400,000 of you who jumped this sinking ship of a bullshit television show and decided not to return this week for another round of eye-abuse. I hope you enjoyed NCIS/Glee/DWTS and The Biggest Loser as they all rated much better than OTH did in the same time slot (by millions, I might add!) So, kudos!

Okay, so after a tiring week of tweeting, replying, reliving the Sophia-drama and second failed attempt at entertainment by the OTH team, we bid you adieu for another week and as always, would love to hear your opinions!!

Rant and Rave people,

Toddian & Chrissy.

OH ... Your opinion is Mucho Respected... :D

LOL... First of all... love you all dearly... even the coward who couldn't even leave their name. You make this blog possible. LOL... LOSER! hahaha!

Anyway, i need to address this before chris posts the review for the new episode:

I respect all your opinions.

Jennifer... You are allowed to have your own opinion. This might be the one and only time we ever disagree. I have no fucking idea why this blog sent you to spam but I corrected that. I will always respect - your opinion because you are bright and intelligent, Anyone who disagrees about how wonderful you are has to deal with ME. Grrrm lol!

That being said, i was brutal because honestly i am over the fandom. I only watch for this chick and she is seriously creating more ammo for crazy PUKERS to use in their psychotic arguements. I get that she dislikes BL, but well... sometimes an actress needs to know when to hold them, and know when to fold them... meaning her lips, "Hence the Sophia Bush: JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP!" LOL!

Anyway... No bats and guns... unless we are SEYTON HATIN!


Michelle - LAUGHING MY FUCKING ASS OFF! I can't even discribe how hilarious this is. Your comment made me chuckle so hard! Seriously, i don't understand why she has so much control. Its really ashame that she cant just do her job and STFU!

Disgruntled Fan - Ditto My Kid, Ditto in deed!

Jess- You know I don't mind speaking my peace anymore than SB apparently does. So you are very welcome. See Ya in BANLAND!

Kasey- need I say more, Kitten. We'll chat later :P


Last but never least.......... Chris, you know how I feel. Love ya, Babe!



Much love Homies,
-Toddian

Sophia Bush: JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP

Sophia - Beautiful, Talented, seemingly Intelligent Sophia - I don’t know if you are bored or just losing all your brain cells playing the now doormat, dumb as a rock Brooke Davis… but don’t you know WHEN to keep your mouth shut. True enough there is Freedom of speech and all that jazz but this is also your job and damn girl - Learn the meaning of Tact!

Gees, You’d think she would realize that majority of her fans WERE BLERs?

Does she think John Tucker Must Die earned her fans… LAUGHING MY FUCKIN ASS OFF, FOOL!

Now honestly, I have not wanted to comment of Sophia’s tweets because I used to adore the chick but the majority of you guys are either commenting about it or going off on other fan pages. And to be honest, I don’t blame anyone for it… If she can have an opinion so can everyone else.

I called chad Michael Murray out on his cheating all the time last year, not to mention his horrible acting… Seriously dude, who the hell ate your soul and shitted it out in the toilet?

Sophia Bush? LOL, yeah, right answer.

I get why people are upset. Don’t bash an entire fan base. Do all these other things:

1. The Whole Team Leyton on a BL t-shirt, I was willing to overlook cause I just don’t care enough about her personal life to give a shit. Ha-ha, when and if she ever hit Jennifer Aniston or Angelina Jolie status - then I might give two shits, but hell, she’s on a dying show and I support my girl.

2. All this co-star dating - again see number 1. I mean, Both chad and she ruined BL… Naley fans hated the Brathan shit…. Which I hate too. And Boolian, well this new Brooke (who I suspect Sophia is creating not the writers- sucks cause I bet anything that in deleted scenes Julian takes huge dumps on her chest!) SUCKS MY HAIRY SWEATY BALLS!

3. Tree Hugging- nothing wrong with that unless it just started out of the blue and seems rather shady if you did nothing for Katrina victims but you care about GULF animals…. Again see Number 1... KINDA!

BUT THIS…. This girl just needs to shut the fuck up. We get it, you hate BRUCAS, you HATE CHAD, you HATE BL fans… don’t turn around condescendingly and say you love us. I don’t care either way.

LOL, as long as you aren’t Hillarie Skank-ASS Burton… I would forgive you anything. But Damn girl… shut the FUCK UP!

Sophia Bush you think you love Brooke more than we do because you portray her… Um, no you get paid to play her. We are the Masochists who root for a once AWESOME character who has been driven down by the writers into a SEYTON SANTANICA REPLICA and thus helping to write your pay checks for Free!

We certainly don’t get anything out of watching Brooke be treated like trash - so bitch please - SHUT THE FUCK UP!

Sophia Bush, you’re beautiful but you actually think we care if you are happy with season 6 & 7... Your happiness doesn’t entertain anyone so - SHUT THE FUCK UP!

By the way SOPHIA BUSH zero IS a size, FOOL!

So SHUT THE FUCK UP!

Whenever you think of talking about BL just - SHUT THE FUCK UP!

I don’t hate you but fool, I am starting to tire of the attention seeking BL hating bullshit.
Do I think you were wrong- DUH, but its your job to promote BOOlian even though the show is down the toilet with most probably your career, but again SHUT THE FUCK UP!

Sophia Bush - Wanna buy a can of SHUT THE FUCK UP!

Sophia Bush - you claim you talk to the writers season 6 & 7… (Dog eating heart season, Brooke becoming a doormat, Pimping Nasty ass aids infect PUCAS like this is actually reality) than please, if you want to take credit for that SHUT THE FUCK UP!

Actually, if you have that kind of Power (which I believe you do) Please tell them to Cancel this damn show! Or SHUT THE FUCK UP!
　
SOPHIA BUSH - you inferred that you came up with the “BL was a footnote to LP” than please SHUT THE FUCK UP!

JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP and do your job… love Brooke, but tired of you…

GIRL, SHUT YOUR MOTHER FUCKING TRAP THE FUCK UP, BITCH, DAYUM!

Finally… if you don’t agree, that’s ok. I dont hate you, speak your peace. But any person knows that whether you agree with what she said or not, she needs to SHUT THE FUCK UP!

Much love Homies
-Toddian

“It’s Amazing How Far We’ve Fallen…” – Brooke Davis ain’t so stupid after all!

Rabbit sex talks, ghostly dreams, love triangles and mushy love scenes that make you reach for your vomit bucket? All in a day’s work on the set of One Tree Hill, and Season 8’s premiere episode didn’t let us down! And in true Mark fashion, because the douche couldn’t write something interesting even if it were to save his hairy gonads from being castrated, the very first scene had us rolling our eyes at the lameness that has become One Tree Hill and gave us an insight of the blatant bullshit we’re about to endure this season.

You know, it’s funny because I can still remember the days when this show used to have more than just couple storylines. There was angst for the brother’s Scott, friendship storylines (where oh where is BALEY?), family storylines and even colleague storylines. Yet everywhere I turned, this whole episode centered around COUPLES. Naley, Brulian, Chase/Alex/Mia and Clay/Quinn. Talk about boring as bat shit. I didn’t expect much from Mark, let’s face it, none of us do, but seriously… this guy has NO creativity what-so-ever and I cannot believe he gets paid to write such bullshit that reflects more a daytime soap opera these days than prime-time drama.

So where to begin? It’s all shit anyway, so might as well go through the apparent “coupling” stories we’re gonna be forced to endure for another 20 or so episodes.

So Nathan, Haley and that little ferret they like to call their son. Since apparently the only storylines they can have involve having spawn and then teaching said spawn about the birds and the bees, I can already feel a yawn fest coming on. Nathan’s little speech at the beginning about his dream of a son and his wife that is so far out of his league made me want to chuck. And don’t even get me started on the failed sex talk with his son. Man, did this guy turn into the biggest loser of Tree Hill or what? Guess he felt the need to fill the spot vacated by his stupid-ass brother. Speaking of… so Haley misses Lucas – welcome to the club honey.

We’ve been missing Lucas since season 3 when he decided to turn into the world’s largest fuck up.

The only thing I found even remotely interesting about this whole Naley bullshit? That they threw the doctor’s appointments in there – could they possibly be giving Nathan a storyline that doesn’t involve him stuck to Jamie like a fly on shit? Honestly, I’ve learnt my lesson when it comes to expecting anything even remotely resembling a decent storyline from the douche known as Mark.


And did anyone else roll their eyes at the fact that the very second word of the brand new season was LUCAS. Or the fact that Seyton’s name got mentioned twice along with her retarded (YES NATHAN - I SAID RETARDED – IF THE SHOE FITS…) husband all within the first six minutes? Schwahn needs therapy, seriously. Chad has moved on to the lifetime movie he is making (who called that stellar career??) and Hil has moved on to… well, no, she’s still spreading her legs about town and channeling the slutty instincts she had whilst playing Seyton. No wonder the douche thinks he’s in with a chance and can’t let her go. Still, some people were happy homage was paid to the original cast. I, on the other hand, thought it was lame.

Pucas are gone, their story is over – MOVE ON!

The only past homage I enjoyed was the return on the theme song. When I saw it, it felt like OTH for a brief moment in time. Then of course I was smacked back to reality like a bitch when the characters opened their mouths again and I realized that the days of a decent OTH episode really were over. Stupid cock-sucking Mark!

So Nathan’s on the road to the NBA and Haley is pregnant. The brief Baley scene was disturbing to say the least, and it brings me to...

Brulian. Boolian. Cut-my-eyes-out-so-I-don’t-have-to-witness-the-horror-of-this-couple- Brooke and Julian.

Whether it was the gag-worthy lines spewed back and forth between them, or lame attempt at trying to seem sexy and resemble something known as chemistry, it all ended up pointing to one thing – this couple is one giant pile of festering dog shit. Actually, leave the shit in the baking sun for a week and the crud that remains would more closely resemble Brooke and Julian. Someone ought to take Austin aside, show him clips of Chad and Sophia from seasons 1, 2 and 3 and then kindly instruct the big foreheaded tree hugger that THIS is what sexy chemistry actually looks like.

Oh, and also show him the scene of Bryan and his sexy ass back when poor Jake had to sleep with the she-devil herself. Watching Julian squash Brooke just didn’t have even an ounce of the sexiness that the very same move from Jake had 6 seasons prior. Austin, you may have taken the job as Julian for your beloved… but damn, you wouldn’t know what sexy was if it came along and slapped it’s dick against your big-ass forehead.

Now, Brooke. What has happened to you? You have become Julian’s sex slave, I swear. Please stop trying to force this chemistry on us. It’s about as interesting as watching paint dry. Also, why is it you can only seem to manage one set of emotions for each character? It’s always slutty/sad with Julian, angry/gnarly with Mummy dearest, and annoyed/melancholy with Millicent. Since you have like a five minute scene with Haley on the odd episode, you don’t even have time for an emotion with her and so we’re gonna skip that. Trying to distract us with the over-husky voice in some scenes doesn’t work anymore either.

This whole Brooke Davis character assassination seems to have been successful because I don’t see her anywhere anymore

And what’s with destroying the happy ending between her and Victoria last year by having Queen V lie about the company’s profits so that her toy boy’s line can be successful? What is with that shit, Schwahn? And having Brooke arrested for fraud without any proof of her wrong-doing or involvement is just plain retarded. Once again, we have to witness Brooke Davis lose everything and get chewed up and spat out by Mark.

Fuck you Schwahn, you cock-sucking piece of shit!

Speaking of cock-suckers, who else here was so glad to see Quinn bleed? The whole dream sequence was OTH bullshit writing at its best. Exactly how many characters have had death dream walks exactly? The unconscious experiences of the townspeople would have me questioning exactly what is in that damn river. I want Quinn to die so badly, but we both know that isn’t gonna happen. After all, with Seyton gone who else is gonna parade her slutty, flat-chested self around town? A skank void was definitely left and Quinn is needed to fill that void – apparently. Now someone should take her aside and show her exactly what it means to act sexy. Even Boolian (and we all know how much they suck) did the whole “Jump-on-my-back-as-I-pull-you-into-the-waves” scene better than Clay and Quinn. This show is so redundant. And what’s with Clay’s body these days? Not only was the face fat sucked, but clearly the abs have disappeared too. Yeah, choosing Quinn was a wise move, moron. Ugh, can’t even fathom what this show has turned Robert into.

What else? Oh right, the storyline of Alex, Chase and Mia that I could care less about. Honestly, I have to admit as much as I hated the skank last season, at least Alex is messing with someone I actually can’t stand this time. Mia, you need to check yourself pronto. YOU dumped Chase via text message sweetheart, it had nothing to do with Alex. Getting in Alex’s face and calling her a relationship destroyer may be fitting, but not in your case. You fucked up sweetheart, and you can’t blame the guy for wanting Alex more – you do have the face of a Chihuahua on crack who has been sniffing ass all day.

So in the end, what did we achieve from this season premiere that many of us were astonished was announced in the first place? Honestly – fuck all. Recycled scenes seem to have taken center-stage, relationships are the only things that have storyline potential it seems, and Brooke Davis has been given the raw end of the stick. Honestly Mark, your ass must be brutalized with the amount of sucking up you would have had had to do to get this rank show back on air.

So the famous words of Brooke Davis herself pretty much sum up the first episode of season 8…

“It’s amazing how far we’ve fallen.”

No shit, Sherlock!

Rant and Rave people,

Toddian & Chrissy.