How to KILL a Television Network 101: Give OTH Two More Seasons...
So, it's been a while since this blog has come alive. Many of us have probably been enjoying the solace that comes with not having to endure the garbage trash that is a One Tree Hill episode. Summer seemed to look pretty good.
But then of course the douchebag known as Mark Schwahn opened his over-sized trap and spewed such bullshit onto our unsuspecting ears that I couldn't help but come on here and have a fucking rant.
No doubt you have all heard that the farce that is Season 8 has now been extended into a full-blown season. Gone is the amazing promise of a short season - we now have to endure 22 full episodes of this pile of shit. But to add insult to injury, the Crap Watch (aka CW) is now stabbing us in our guts by announcing that they are considering a season 9.
I hope you have your wheelbarrows ready because they are about to shovel some serious bullshit our way!
I am not one to say that I could run a television network, but fuck me, Schwahn must be sucking some serious cock if those big wigs think this show has anything left to offer. Where exactly can this fucking crap go from here? Season 7 proved that really, there is nowhere left for them to go. It was full of past stories that seemed to be rehashed and set upon new fucking characters.
Brooke Davis in another love triangle with a douche boyfriend choosing a lesser female over her?
Nathan with more basketball woes and hoes?
Haley singing, then not singing, then falling pregnant. (Oh yeah, add a random dead Dad and no dead Mom and you've got... Peyton Sawyer? She has two dead parents too - right?)
A couple with no chemistry what-so-ever in Clay and Quinn - ala Pucas. I swear, more people cried tears of joy than sorrow when these bitches were shot. Unfortunately, they fucking killed off Haley's Mom last season so the likelihood of Queen McBeak falling off our radars is slim to none. Bastards.
Mouth and women troubles - YEAH, cos a dude as fug as THAT has any chance with the women he seems to pick up. Oh wait, he stabbed his friend in the back to get her - running theme in this show... and still, something we've seen before.
So please tell me, what exactly do we have to look forward to here?
Brooke and Julian are now engaged. Whoop-di-fucking-doo. No one even likes this fucking couple. And exactly WHAT are they supposed to do now? She makes her own dress, they have bachelorette and bachelor parties with their 5 friends and they say I do. Oh, but let's not forget that Julian, the big-foreheaded McGee, will probably be up Alex's ass half the time and Brooke will continue to flood the town with her barrage of tears. Yeah, I can really see that lasting 22 episodes and then some if they gain another season. Also, they'll possibly throw a miracle baby her way and make the 5% of viewers who enjoy Pucas believe that their Queen B-itch is coming home.
FYI - she cheated on her producer husband and got knocked up. Spreading legs isn't the way to be invited back on a show... I pray Schwahn takes his lips off the cock he's currently sucking long enough to actually listen to what her ex-husband wants - her far, far away from this show.
So really, this couple is going nowhere. So that leaves them to prop the other lame characters they have on this show. I wonder what they'll do? Have Brooke cheer Alex on in taking Chase. Maybe they'll even have Haley's on Mia's side. Maybe the writers will get a clue and realise no one gives a fuck about this bullshit story they seem to be trying to develop. Alex/Chase/Mia? I say we put them in a room, lock the door and have them eat each other to stay alive! Or better yet...
I think I should buy a fucking dictionary, look up the word boring, highlight it, and send it to Mark with a note that says "Season 4 onwards..."
And then there's Naley. Well, by the end of last season we really saw what point they had come to with this couple. When all else fails, knock a bitch up. Riiiight, because we feel like seeing someone go through a pregnancy storyline again. Seriously, is there really nothing more you can do with this couple? All Haley seems to be able to do in sing and lay on her back. And do we really want another mutant like Jamie running around the town? What name will they steal from another character next to give to the new kid - hmm.. Davis hasn't been used yet. How fucking original. Clearly, baby books were never used in this town. Either that, or Mark Schwahn thinks so highly of himself that he has to regurgitate characters names over and over again. The originality of this man astounds me - and this prick gets two more seasons? Wtf?
We're told we have to face facts, that these guys are adults now and this is what adults do - get married, have babies, start multi-million dollar fashion companies, get multi-million dollar basketball careers, have multi-million dollar singing careers... oh I'm sorry, you're right, that is all SOOOOO realistic. And all in one group of friends from one small town.
Well, if this is all about turning into an adult show, someone might want to let the mods on the CW boards know this. PG13... we can't talk about shit there! Also, you might want to stop making everyone into a giant douchebag - where I'm from, by now Julian would have his fucking balls in a blender, Haley would be in a mental ward, Brooke would be bitch-slapped for being such a fucking pushover, and Nathan would be told to get a real fucking job (I've never seen a professional sports star home so much in my life). Also, his agent would be flat out fired for life for fucking his sister in-law. Just saying.
So, at the end of this rant all I have to say is... FUCK THE CW NETWORK AND FUCK MARK SCHWAHN!
Really, another full season of this crap, possibly two?
Rant away people,
Toddian and Chrissy
